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Lesley Oct 2016
I’ve burnt my tongue
On the ashen words
forgotten past
Forgotten year
the bitter-sweet
Destroying
the dark past
Up in flames
I see the writing in the sky
I see the writing on the wall
Social graces social falls
White noise
Amber hate
Static whispers crawling deep
Keep the dream slow and sweet
Nine fathoms deep
a buzz and rush
I feel the situation hopeless.
You claim ‘Love’ but what is That really?
my fingers are numb
Love is no reason or excuse.
One must feel love to accept love-
and I do not feel or believe in it.
Everything is shutdown. Out of order
Come back tomorrow.
Try again. No pass no admittance.
No crime or punishment.
No smiles or tears with me.
A blank wall. Cold brick.
Cracks shored up again and again.
A full time job shoring up these cracks
Crumbling cave ins
I think of you everyday & often still.
I cry when I see love stories & heartbreak.
I cry when I hear 'there is always hope.'
I had so little faith & was so afraid.
I never wanted to hurt you.
I hope you can forgive me giving up
losing hope.
I am still in love with you.
I pray now those feelings fade.
Love doesnt thrive in the dark
gathering dust
but set free a proclamation a declaration
a truth shone in light
. No shame.
No closet feelings buried ;
No whispered desires and intentions
Faith?
The illusion crumbled in my hands
and faded from my eyes.
I could not SEE
how we were supposed to BE
Too many lies weakened the line.
So weak ripping easily this love line
no longer yours or mine sayonara
love mine
love line
Its all Hay wire
a fine Tangle and bind
Be so kind & hang up
your hang ups clashed with mine
no nurture no teddy bear cuddle
But sharp cuts
a twisting jumble of words lost in the rumble
Lost in rhyme
delete unfollow block mute ban hide
I still know your alive.

© Lesley Wood

https://soundcloud.com/royalejelly/haywire-ft-lescelin
To hear recording:
https://soundcloud.com/lescelin/haywire
Lesley Oct 2016
It's always you
My hornèd demon
I hold your hairy head between my legs
My head pounds as yours torments
Your forked tongue finds every opening
You slither hither; hypnotic dance
I forget myself. I forget what else
You love me deeply
Our twin flames flicker wildly &
Burst the sunrise
You wild beast of animal and man.
I will catch you if I can
You were my all, my reason for life
I once dreamed of being your wife
Stars fall like fireworks from the sky
But Night descends quicker than stars
Entranced, trapped, enslaved
Not love but tortured dreams
Your cruelty astounds me
your manipulation and slight of hand
The curve ball, the trick in your eye.

How do you do it?
Smoke & mirrors. All of it.
Here now, now gone.
So long.
Hear the echoes of the crowd.
Memories of your face.; Trickster grin.
And I, the fool born every minute.
And again, The Mask.
The mask we all wear, but tear off.
Your mask, you keep on.
Rip-Off
Under the smiles and grin.
The hornèd demon is reality
I think.
The animal that walks like a man.
A beast walking upright, horns gleaming
in the moonlight.
Pan Satyr, your Dionysian dream.
Your mask so sweet & smiling.
Your funhouse & shattered mirrors .
Your thousand faces laughing.
I’ve left it all-behind me.

©  Lesley Wood

https://soundcloud.com/lescelin/mask-the-9deep-beat-squad
To hear recording:
https://soundcloud.com/lescelin/mask
Lesley Oct 2016
She sees ravaged faces everyday.
Here a gray, there a gray,
Everywhere a gray, gray.
Even the fleeting beauty of butterflies
Disintegrates into dust.
She forever tries to justify
why she should live and take up space,
why she should look into someone’s eyes
without them looking away.
Dreams and ideas sit cold and hard,
and wither wasted, never being tasted.
Dead dreams like petals falling,
Sounding like her heartbeats pounding-
Measuring the lies of time.
Lesley Sep 2016
Static
Listen.
Everything else is secondary
Everything else is static
Pay no attention to the rules and labels.
Reach for the core, pull out the heart
There is green in the wasteland.
Blue beyond gray.
Slough off the mud covered.
There are jewels in the mire.
Ignore the distractions fantasies illusion.
Feel your way thru the fog.
Hear the deep beat. Its in everything.
Listen!
Everything else is secondary.
Everything else is static.
Yes!
White noise brings no joy.
Lost in the dark
All memories erased.
Feel your way thru the fog.
Hear the deep beat
Your heart.
Its in everything.
Resonating.
Listen!
Everything else is secondary.
Everything else is static.
Lesley Sep 2016
Perhaps you didn’t reject me,
But pushed so far, you
Couldn’t find your way back.
You broke free. I was the cage.
Perhaps, I’m the Monster hiding under your bed.
I left so many words unsaid.
Please know I hope you are happy and free
And your own true self.
Never settle.
By bite and nettle you’ll get by
and Bye.
Perhaps ‘being lost’ is your friend
Perhaps life sans me, the end.
But I still scream like that night so long ago.
I scream & scream
With clawed walls in gray skull
The pain, the loss, all the tears
Your face. Its been so long, but you never fade.
And I scream
Its so hard to fight;
To stay without you by my side
Your thoughts in me replace the screaming.
But the space between our hearts is wide
We drown with no safety net or lifeline
This is it.
The stark unseen undream
What lies between, decays
You broke free.
I am the monster.
I am the cage.
Lesley Sep 2016
You must understand my fear
As I grow closer to you dear
No more bite or insurrection
You penetrate the armour
Hard covers but tender underbelly
Be gentle in your stroke
Blisters fester
Red welt of swollen lips
Let the blood fall as it may
Unafraid
You are the light in my everyday
Slither hither
& crawl over blistering heat
You seek, you sting
Sharp penetrating glance
Venom glistens like the dewdrop
Do drop & Let drop the droplets
Wet hard the mind ****
Chittering madness
Stinger in brain
Dark obsidian, your poison sings
Your back
Glistens shiny.
Your armour penetrating dance
Brings me back
Tail quivers
Knees weak
Crawl to me
The strike
The sting
Your poison venom
The venom inside me
No antidote or logic
No rhyme or reason
Your venom sings
sound gone
Mind blown
Eyes blind and heart bleeding
I am your zombie baby
Obey me
Tease me
Play with me
Seize me
Sting me
Again and again.
Poem inspired by line in Penny Dreadful:S2 (2015) about Love. 'The Egyptians were hardly unique in that. Yes, but to them it was quite literal. They called it the "Scorpion's sting," a kind of eternal infection that had no end, not in time or death.' & a new/old love interest.
Lesley Jul 2016
You shouldnt write off just me
but everything-
the scraps of paper in the street
the grit & sand blowing in the wind
the dust cloud smudge on windshield
kitten prints
the dried husk of a squashed frog
the broken necklace on the ground
the toy forgotten until its found.
Nail in the coffin
shut closed buried and forgotten
no crack of light just a shoosh and thump of dirt
hollow booms in heart
burying in settling
deep inside cold descends
silence between the ears
between the years
silence the soft thump of still beating heart on auto thump
thump thump
no thought to live or breathe
no thought to live but there continues life
shut up inside
Write me off dont pull me out
leave me silent as stone freezing my bones
nail in the coffin
to rise or not time will tell to live or…
to be remembered or forgotten.
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