Attacks.
Tears, pillows only know
My breath is caught
Makes you wonder if its the end.

Unjustified panics
I thought I got better
Flash backs
My tears, are blood flowing

Anxiety crippling
Breathe, Breathe, Breathe
No supply
Trying my best to love me through it

Plans shaking
No words racing
My mind erasing
What can I do?

Can't Call
No words to say
Overwhelmed,
My only escape is to disappear

Please leave me alone
I've been good
I stopped taking what I love
But you're still here

Alone
Pushing all that i love away
A monster in disguise
You're the tattoo I never asked for

I've been good for so long
Didn't think it'll go wrong
My body's uncomfortable with me
It's planning my end

Anxiety
Thought my mind was responsible
Now my heart with the mind of its own decided to join
Why are they so committed?

My body is cold
I'm trembling from the heat
You said you care, but there you are uninvested
Maybe if I get attached to you, you'll also leave

By: Zoulaikha

locked up in my head
where can I find the keys ?
they're right there in my hands
why can't I set myself free
its funny how uncomfortable you can be
in your own skin but you aren't able to breathe
they tell you to come out
but laugh the way you do
short skirts
modest is what must be
covered up
"why are you wearing that, it's hundred degrees"

in fear i'm never good enough
diseased to people please
but when the trip comes I know you'll be with her
I'll be in the corner as your photographer
final results done differently. anxiously?
honestly what is the difference always drowning in the ocean of doubt.
anxiety attack, waking me
will I make it in this light?
built my walls, carved them the moment of epiphany
I wish I'm you while wearing heels
head held high, voice steady
look closely, voice steady with trembling hands
I'll be her another day
for now I'll be the anxious lily with that dream
the more it remains a fantasy the easier it seems
step by step I'll get there someday wearing my flats

By Zoulaikha

Bittersweet, honest conversations
Chocolate and coffee on the side, is this our destination?
My dear as you speak, chills run down my spine
Thoughts of you, turn into butterflies as the moonlight shines

Bread and butter,
Silly little fights
Stay seated at the afterglow my Romeo
Oh! silly little fights end with kisses holding you tight

My chosen one, you're my gorgeous pink skies  
The butter to our bread, as it gets dark  
My hyped dopamine, kissing my birthmark
Up all night, you’re my greatest adventure
*
Fortune telling, as I dive into your golden clouds
My brown eyes lay out our future
Even if the dream ends, don't wake me up.
Magic armour, aren't you the warrior?

No more suffering, lessons were learned,
Love walls, stakes high, hand in hand, jumping blind  
Hold on to the touch, I’m yours at last
The topic is forever swimming in violet grass

Wake me up every morning to the melody of your voice
Let my heart speak as my tongue wrapped tight
Smiles in between kisses, forever intertwined
Stars look like butterflies, heart's divine

Can't finish my reader
Emotions lost my words
Rosey lips locked, shivers as you look into my eyes
Forever, for eternity, forgotten lies

Love for always, a love that's true.

By Zoulaikha

Every "goodnight" text I read as "I love you"
I'm caught between breathes
Caused by scenarios in my head
I'm not delusional, I'm a hopeless romanic after all

Walked around until I stumbled upon you
A moment ago I wonder if I'll ever meet you
You walked past me and smiled
Now I want to wake up with you by my side

Darling, Lets live like love novels
Not making Ryle's mistake,
Please don't ever touch me that way
"We'll do it the fairytale way"

Morning kisses
You brush away my hair
I'll make you breakfast
I know you dreamt it this way

Let's change the idea of lust
As I watch you hair slick back complimenting your brown eyes
10,000 stories with all the ink there is
"It took me so long to write you" where have you been?

After all this time I'm trying to dig behind your soil
I'm obvious, you'll know, but I won't admit
It took me so long to write you
But as soon as I shut my eyes I vision your rosy lips

You fell for my smile
As your laughter became my treasure
Tune our bodies to the sound of waves
I want to memorise you like I do my favourite song

Take it slow
Match my energy,
Losing control
I want to hear it dear

Be my safe
Be the only person I long for in the brightest of days
Be my forever red
Be the one I need at every blue

Pick the Brush we'll paint our skies purple
From the moment we kiss, I'd die in our locked lips
Tasting the sweet as sugar nectar
Give me a few to never run out of your aftertaste

**

What love sounds like
Why is it without the purity and heat
What if all I wanted is you
Why is being hopelessly in love lost for all the fights.

All the dark stormy nights
We'll sail the ocean
But wake up with dried up tears
As the sun rays beam highlighting your dark eyes, that's all for now.

By:Zoulaikha

I've never gotten flowers, not much to say
In love once, still can't beg to stay
I've never gotten flowers, but oh.. to dream of lilies
How the return of happiness will ever feel?
"Hold onto your baby breaths,"
They never given me any
All I ever wanted was a tulip
The same way my father use to gift my mother
Smiling while I hide behind him excitingly

Dreaming of  my once upon a dream as snowdrops grow
Sunflowers, how beautiful they could be
Joyfully restoring oxygen into my lungs
You never knew cause roses are the trend
Honestly, you never asked
Left, right you're gone
Not a rose in graved, they're all out of sight
Its alright I'll get gladiolus
Swimming in the lilies valley one day

Memory, Not a Flower girl

By:Zoulaikha

If nothing matters
     Unless, it does
Trying at all
     Survival, pointless
Being right
     Unless you were wrong
Depression
      When you never cried.

Maybe, it's all a game
      When you never played
Or not a game
       Ever, at all
It's beyond all comprehension
       Because it's simple as hell
But you were  
        Never the believer.

You're just a contrarion
         A rebel
Never had one  
          Cell in your brain
Or any empathy
           You just acted along
Against everything

So really what's right?
            Nothing, at all...not a thing

Gorgeous  deep almond eyes
Hard to find honesty
Alluring, can't find my words to say,
Intoxicating, silenced conversations
Dazzling heart, keeping me awake
An unexpected good morning, started ..
New born feeling, its hard to explain

Genuine questions, forever gentle you'll be
I don't look into peoples eyes
You looked deep into my soul,
I couldn't help but catch my breath
Cause' your deep brown eyes have golden flecks as if its lightning in a pitch-black sky

Heart shaped face, singing it own poem
As you love the music but never sing along
Stars and hearts covering your skies, as my prayers for you will forever rise  
Conversations, one to another at 2AM
Now its 12pm, time flies and its time to say goodbye

A cool breeze
Warm hands,.. you reached out
Your care confused me, that confused you
The look on your face, I wonder  
I catch myself smiling until the end  

If its immeasurable time we've talked,
Will it make it illicit?
Lets keep that for another negotiation
Its hard not to thank you every time I'm maimed
Your 'welcome'  is held close to my heart.

Dawn is where, why, when
If they ask, that's what you say
Although knowing you, it'll be the smile
Searching
Can't find my words

An interesting feeling
I always know what to say
But here I am at your presence not knowing a thing
Laugh,
"I don't know" is the most phrase you've heard

Now, help me end this
Even while I'm quite I can go for days
Lets be classic..
"Are you sleepy yet?"
It's never how it ends, usually how it starts

You are quite  the wonder why

By: Zoulaikha