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z Aug 2018
i pierced your silhouette
through my head like
the twinkled lights you attached
trying to cover my eyes, seal my lips around
you touched me at my
golden hours of self doubts
you filled me in thinking
i had you whole as a legacy
then you left with subtle clicks
z Sep 2018
twelve back at twenty
hungry hands and dirtier words
wavering affection that won't stay long

ten back at eighteen
none ice cold nor lazy scowl
can it grow when the lights are on?
what is this math *******
z Jun 2022
in a town where yours is mine
my loudest heartbeats under the raindrops
as you strolled along my starry eyes
behind your back the moon arrives
unaware that soon we will die
still now and again
z Sep 2018
how do you want me to remember your laugh?
perhaps as the caress of your hands confusing my mind
or as the glory i could only enjoy from afar
make it more like a reminder that you’re not mine
him
z Sep 2018
him
the dearest of mine
pinched me hard enough
to feel colors where they compete

the dearest of mine
adjusting longing graze
greets them ever-so-warmly

the dearest of mine
is where i submitted relentlessly
not trying to put a halt on it
z Feb 2023
i look for your skin to crawl
for your hair to get lost in
for the softest of your breathing
for the flames that you caused
for the burning in mine

inside this cave where the monsters sleep
where i tried to sweep and ****
where you whispered your tricks
where i shoot up the glim
where you whistle and                              flee

you watched them point their swords at me
i remain small to keep you where you want to be
this is a zelda reference
z Sep 2018
it wont be new—long lost feelings
it wont fall to one another—somewhere remains
in between fingertips it slipped through
his far it never travelled
where its summer became his day
and its winter became his night
the seasons are starting to change somehow
and so they are
you will so realize
z Aug 2018
listen, beloved. it's how i fear they would realize
that this is just another matter of
the utmost romanticized sadness
how i would glorify spitting another hatred

i ache at the places we've been, songs we've heard,
skin we've desired. name it baby you have it
more in me and less in you, the kind that won't be allowed to.

don't scare me now dear; you had it
bloom, you touched it bright, don’t step on it red.
i won't call it (again), love. not now
z Aug 2018
i can hear my brain screaming
taking up another mischief
making another sound of hit
adjusting another kind of yelling
what is this? a disease? or another routine?
it got rid of my will and wits!
father i hear it screeching
it's not coming from my ears!
but it's okay since they're not real
or at least if that's what you think
i feel like ****! stop with the sense of guilt!
i can hear it screaming
i need my medicine
z Aug 2018
july july july
she lays your head above my thighs
when you were born the sky was clear white
the number of twenty doesn't seem so small
left left left
we shared the same smell
to the east we went; through nature we never spent
my tongue ache to whichever you take
made this just after the month end
z Feb 2021
you were there, with your phone attached
we were there, only two feet apart
tap! tap! tap! i could hear your phone buzz
watching you laughing your lungs out
i love you, i guess, only if that’s allowed
i love you! here and there! surprise!
z Aug 2018
does it count as love?

          don't say it out loud!

why are you? embarrassed?

          no, denial more like

then how is it?

          if i told you that i would die for him,
          does it count? i mean, i've always
          wanted to die anyways but never
          for someone
z Aug 2018
you were meant to shine
when we went out at night catching coldness
that was meant to hurt, did your smile delight?
in a place where i wait for the wallowing to end
you told the sky and its darkness to follow us
i hate being away and i hate getting in your way
snap me out of it! clean up the grim!
don't remind me how painful your absences feel!
z Nov 2018
that was you;
and how your voice never silent and your yells sweetened and how it made me feel so little, and
how your being found me unsafe and your sorry that came away and how it made me perfectly dead

and i am no poet;
to curse you with words to glorify you in a paper
and keep it in a box, i
wont let the fool in me becomes
z Apr 2023
you invented anger and laughter
a cry and a smile
one side is heavier than the other
but don’t ask which one

and funnily enough i’m holding hands with myself, again and i crafted narratives of secrets and regrets, again and why are we so drawn into things that only YOU understand? again!
z Sep 2018
they came out gentler out of your lips
and i didn’t ask to be conquered by it
z Aug 2018
your name shrinks when you kissed me, spills
in my own ears, long gone
since you sleep my dreams, numb
after you found your better piece
i can never say no while it lingers, battling
wrongs to make some rights, stay
still for the show; where instead of
calling your name home, i will be
able to say no
and it wont be tomorrow

— The End —