Love is a pit that carries on down,
With ledges, with edges.
It's why you fall and break-up.
Why it's so different for each.
Every pit is strange, but always itself.
Death changes not the pit. For life,
Again, once more would jump off that ledge.
Neither winged nor fledged. Only to hit another edge.
Unending. Unchanging, you fall, stumble, tumble, stop.
For the edge you fumble,
Craving the heart racing, heartbreaking drop.

it's like a neverending battle swirling inside my heart, onforegoing and unwilling to stop. tears and pain explode inside me as i sit there numb with confusion.

he asked her a question
that made her want to walk away
it was something about the truth
she had just met him
it was already too heavy
he told her
he didn’t change clothes in a phone booth
he didn’t
ride white horses down main street
he just wanted to fall in love
before the sun went down

she couldn’t see it
but she felt it all the same
he didn’t have the time
still he had the heart
would it be enough
his eyes revealed no regret
he felt one thing only
the strength to be alone

she never answered
she had her own problems too
she decided he was an honest man
growing older meant a lot of things
what did she mean to him
love is a stranger sometimes
it was up to her
it always was
the men are always willing
but she wanted to wait
to watch one more sunrise

she wanted his aggression
even if she turned him down
no man was worth his fears
how could he handle her?
if he was afraid of rejection
then he was not strong enough
if only he knew it would work
but beauty makes you wait

you're like a germ,
twisting my insides
into outsides, ruining
this facade of happiness

you're like a thorn,
in my side, painful and
ever present, constant
prickles and discomfort

like a man
i packed tobacco
into my pipe but
i don’t own a yellow hat

in Shadowlands
C.S. Lewis told me
marriage is for life and
i never forgot that

i struck fire
from a Sahara Club
matchbook
that Carissa gave me
back in ’98

she took her clothes off
dancing
for a living but i didn’t
meet her that way

we used to drink
newcastles, smoke
menthols and walk
Newport’s back bay

we laughed
a lot
and did drugs
at raves

i used to tell her
“when i make it
i will take care
of you everyday.”

i never made it
and tonight
i cleared
my pipe with

one hit

one match

one woman

Sometimes, I want to ask you about how you feel about me.  
I want to ask you if you love me but, I just don't have the guts to ask you.
Maybe you're too busy to answer.
Maybe you're not in the mood to answer.
I'm just scared to mess things up.
For I messed up several times,
And I thought you'd love me less,
Or leave me.
But I'm glad you didnt.
I'm glad you didn't give up.
But I know,
The time will come when you can no longer put up with the mess I make.
One day, you'd probably ask yourself, "is she worth it?"
And maybe, you'd just ignore me.
Maybe, find someone who's worth it.
And maybe, you'd finally be with someone who asks less.
And maybe I'd end up with nothing
But, all the mess I made.
But guess what?
And I would still find joy with that.
Because whenever I see these mess,
I know,
I tried.
I loved.