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 Nov 2014 Zoe relleh
ZWS
I always hated the color of your emotions
On these dull and rainy days
Haven't seen the sun for months
Can somebody fax me the apocalypse
Can we just go back into a Big Crunch
Don't care about time anymore it just slips
Through my fingers

I'm not perfect like you think, I'm patchwork
My design has so many flaws and quirks
I'm made of skin and bones, some tell me if I'd try to swim I'd sink
Wish I was more of a liar so maybe I could float

What a tease you are in your little floral dress
And your needle and your thread and your thimble and the little squeaky noises from your rubber sneakers tread
Thought you were so cute when you'd ask me to drink my wine and eat my bread
Who knew a sip would turn into a bag and a loaf of bread

I hated how you looked up when I would look down
And the town felt like a bell tower full of time where I never heard the bell sound
And when you would close your ears it felt like a tsunami had hit my face and turned me into a zombie walking frown
Where my brain was so angry it turned red and filled with blood until I drowned

And there you sat that afternoon playing with your alabaster Barbie that oddly represented you
And you combed her hair and gave her a personality that you could choose
And you forgot all about the needle and thread, and all my patchwork of yellow and red and blue
You forgot all about me and if you would have mixed all the colors right you wouldn't have anything to lose
But here I am with my wiry string and my patchwork bruise
I've got smoke in my lungs and oil in my stomach fueling an industrial revolution that's way past due
Snags in her tights,
Chipped black on her claws,
She stands against walls,
Vulnerable to the brawls.

A skirt grazing her thighs,
Too small for her liking,
She pulls at the seems,
And feeds the old men lies.

Lips that bleed,
Mascara stained cheek,
Frame too slim,
She's in the gutter, sensual and meek.

Lady of the night,
Rolls to your car,
beckons you with her finger,
hopes you won't linger.

A ten note slips,
Into her grip.
She squeezes.
It will feed her addiction.

She has money to pay,
Children to feed,
She digs her knuckles so much they bleed.

Life carries by,
As she tries to get high,
On the fumes of other men.

But the red light comes on,
Her skirt hitches up,
She cries as he whispers
good girl.

As he kisses her neck,
She thinks what the heck
Am I doing with my **** awful life,
Selling cheap love,
To father above,
In hope she gets a better price
than the tiny sum
From every business bloke that comes, beckons her into his arms.

She pulls at her pleather,
At her last tether,
Why am I in this life?

Soho's her home,
But it leaves her numb to the bone.

She has more than budget passion,
She craves style,
She fashion.

But instead the needle pierces,
And she sinks down,
Hating the body she's in,
Women walk and they frown,
But they don't understand how the girl feels deep down,
She just wants true love.

Oh heaven above?
If there is a Holy Spirit,
Let me be it,
For this withered young *******,
Belongs in your constitute,
Please, she begs, save me from the charity brutes.
Books are reliable folk,
They'll remain in your hand as you have a ****.

The pages don't mind markings,
The bindings are okay with carvings,

The letters will always remain,
Even if, your holy grail is left out in the rain.

Their secret meaning can be read
in the solitary of your head.

Or your favourite piece, shout aloud!
Yell it to a crowd.

Weep as your character's love departs,
Flick through it with a careless heart.

Keep it in your back pack,
Or glare at it on your iPad.

Your trusty friend 'book'
Is always willing for you to prise it open,
and take a long, hard look.
I feel isolated and alone,
removed from myself,
like being in an empty box with no door,
like a cage with no bars,
under lock and key,
my own prison in my head,
im in survivor mode
i want to build a home
                          i want to frame every goodbye
that's ever left my lips
                         with a sigh, and hang them on walls
built from good intentions
                          i want to lay a foundation
that doesn't crumble beneath a heavy heart
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