Hurt
Heartbroken
I am

Pain
Sharp and biting
I feel

Furious
Disappointed
I am

I thought of you
Always
You thought of me
When it was convenient

I want us to work
But you have to understand
I am your man
Not him, or him, or him, or he
You're not a toy to me

And I'm not a toy to you either

When you jump, think of me
Not before
Savor that feeling of life
And then think about the dying as you are

When you step, think of me
Not before
While the rope is set up
And the chair's underneath
Because my harsh words are wrapped around your neck

When you pull, think of me
Not before
When you're buying ammo
When you're setting up the tarp
But for the split-second of your short life
I deserve to be in your thoughts

When you die, I'll be thinking of you
Of our love
Of the past
And I'll join you, wherever you are
Because Hell's okay with me if you're there

I'm back where I started:
Ground Zero
I hear the same insults
The same snide remarks
The same character judgments
Supposed to make me better
At school
At life
Instead all they do is push this knife
Further and further into my bleeding head
Twist it around, hang out with him
I can handle this pain
I know you love me
I know you're here
But believe you me,
I get the same amount of jealous as you
I just do a better job of hiding it
I don't have to be childish about it
I don't have to delete your messages, your contacts
He wants you, you know
And if I'd guess,
I'd say you do too.
You're longing for respect
You're seeking it with these strangers
But they don't respect you,
Not like Me and He
Those strangers hit and ran
Not like Me or He
We stuck around
For whatever reason
And we have your back
Whenever you need it
He's respectful of you
He's interested
He wants inside
You want to let him
Here again I am
Outside looking in
It's like watching someone get shot in the back of the head
You know it's coming,
You try to warn them,
Then BANG, dead
I'm trying to warn you
He likes you like that
Remember the last time
You had someone like that?
How it ended sexually, with you feeling awful?
Or what about him, will you break his heart?
Does he deserve that?
No. He doesn't.
He respects you
He likes you
He is nice to you
He takes care of you
All of these,
I cannot do.
Not because I can't,
But because you won't let me.
I need your help
I need you near
I need you to stay home
I need you to isolate
Because while I'm sitting at home,
Getting yelled at again
I'm thinking of you and He
Spending time, holding each other
Talking, *******, Kissing
Smoking, Drinking, Snorting
I hate this.
I can't break free
I just want to leave and be with you
But you don't want to be with me

To write a happy poem
First you need a start
You need to find something beautiful
Something close to your heart
If those are the guidelines
Then I'll write about you
Because I see your beauty
There for me, through and through
Your smile brightens up the room
Like sunlight in the dark
Your eyes though small and squinty
Reflect the beauty contained within
I know the reason why they're small
It's not because of genes
It's because you're protecting them
Showing them to those who deserve to see them
Because your eyes are like your heart;
Sensitive, but beautiful
Hidden, but alive

I wanted to write a happy poem
So I tried to write one about you
I hope it says what I meant to mean
And in your heart rings true

The words used to describe you
Don't matter to me
I know who you are
I know where you're from
I know what you're like.
These people don't know you like me
They haven't obsessed themselves to you,
In other words, I know you better
Inside and out.

Inside
You're beautiful
You're a caring friend
You're a friendly person
You look out for other people
You love to sing
You love your family
You love your friends

Outside
You're beautiful
Your face is soft, begging to be held
Your eyes, gentle and inviting
Your lips are smooth, caressing
Your body is perfect;
Healthy, and gorgeous

Which one of these descriptions
Fits the name you wear?
None of them
Reflect the opinion of the describers.

So don't be sad
And don't me mad
Just let ignorant people be
They want you to be a certain way
It's up to you to prove them wrong

I'm here for you
I always will be
I'll be your armor
When these sticks and stones are thrown at you
And I'll be your slingshot
When you fire back
And I'll be your hammock, and teddy bear
When the world's too much and you need to cuddle
I won't let you face it alone
I love you