lost the world
Forgot to care
Falling out of the unfamiliar
Felt strange
  like I had been there before
thoughts quietened
  My anxiety felt at home
  At peace
  Their opinions didn't matter
  Didn't care
  Stacked them high as I could
  Just another brick in the wall
  Separates them from me
  Laying here in the sand
  Hear Floyd above the waves
  Ocean crashing into me
  Making a little more sense each time
  Wish you were here to feel this
  Like walking on the rails at midnight
  Never noticing the train
  Alone
  Free
  And in reference to another one
  I was finally
  Comfortably numb

That dream again
recurring melodies of waves lifting my spirit
the harmony soothing
Making me more comfortable than I've ever been
daydreaming in a dream
gazing at the scenery
tips of my fingers wading in water
  Cool to the touch
Seems perfect
and it is
It's hard to explain
As if each eye sees something else
  an overlay so to speak
because it's cloudy and then not
I can see the sun's rays
but I can't feel its heat
dog days of summer
But common sense is telling me I might need a jacket
It's bright out I almost have to squint
The water reminds me space
Unending
There's a mist sitting just above
I imagine it the same color blue
The air is heavy but no humidity
Everything around seems still
Floating around in the atmosphere
Surrounded by clouds
I fall
I see myself as this is happening
Face to face
I don't know if he sees me
He looks lost in thought
Yet completely aware of everything
Time almost pauses
maybe just waited
It's us concealed by mist at the bottom of a waterfall
A nightmare or
I cant tell
it's a scary kind of beautiful
And
That's it

It is
what it'll never be again  
happening as everything
climbs and falls back down.
I'm here cause I wasn't
because you're not yet
If there's us
then there's them
talking to
the same sky
saying that us
  this hell
To it
It is
heaven

Happiness is nothing in the light

it’s not what i see

not the one at my side

nothing that occupies space

happiness is what’s there when I close my eyes

a lullaby sung by the night

that let me forget the world

remembering

exactly who and whomever I am

If it’s just a dream

then tell me your nightmare.

Joy and pain

numerous feelings

new emotions I could never explain.

There I never felt lost.

There I’m not alone

I’m safe

Happiness is a dream to me

And so I ate the dope again
hard know where to begin
it was great
Made love started off in the shower
Was all awkward just picture a rope bridge
then I had to go *** again
what's become of me
I don't know
mr. Wrong
I guess
everything right I never do
Mr nascar I guess
Yup going in circles
  f up I don't care
70 and I'm swerve
the car can't walk straight all the way there but ...
least I made sure you're back home
that's the kicker
I was just hiding in the closet
After you head-butted me in the face
calling the cops and I ate the dope again
I supposedly sabotage you
hey it's all good
my car breaks down I'll just walk
she don't see
that I love her
do anything for ever
Ever since I met her.
it seems that she notices me
yet it's just cuz I'm there
She says I'm the one
but not the one you're thinking of
I'm the one that did it
everything that's her past becomes me
it's crazy it happened so fast
I'm guessing three years now
I'm hiding in the closet
just got my nose smashed
yes I'm still complaining
that s** hurt
just as much my fault
we both lovingly provoke
till death do us part
I don't see that I love her
and I still do
I see that I need to leave her
I know it's something I won't do
I see her come out sometimes
it makes me sad
that beautiful little girl in there
now something else
it's not her
maybe
this is the monster in me speaking
Maybe I am the one that's insane
I can't tell right from wrong or anything anymore
all I know is that ive seen her
and that seems alright with me

Numb to the facts
I'm immune to this
second-guessing confusions
the answers I once had
colliding in my head
catch fire exploding
even without hesitation
nothing I can do to stop it
once saw the pictures
glimpses of a hopeful future
but now adjusting an antenna
sitting
watching my reflection
reflecting failing
my view I can't put it in perspective
fog maybe snow
clouding my view
all I'm getting is static
The fallout taking over my screen
pounding my head til my knuckles bleed
I don't flinch
I can't feel anything
there's no tears
already on the floor at my side
uncertain of what lies ahead
speaking of the future as if it were already past tense
I broke my own heart I'm dying.
Gave into letting go
A single memory falls off my cheek
Chest barely rising
watching this blurry scene
My past the only one who remembers
What it was like
when I used to be me

I don't want to write
the light anymore
estranged from myself

I don't want it
no I'm not happy
I'm absent hearted
handcuffed to the tracks
no bravo no encore

Didnt care for the movie
much less the ******* replay
feeling the ties start to vibrate
my back numb from the steel

got a smile on my face
the key in my hand
it saddens me
all i see
a piece of scrap paper, pencil
two worn out hands

The rest
is all in my head