im "the happy friend"

the "happy friend" isnt supposed to rely on drugs for happiness

the "happy friend" isnt supposed to wake up everyday, and wish they still were dreaming

the "happy friend" isnt supposed to be the mediator of family fights

the "happy friend" isnt supposed to avoid looking at themselves at certain angles

the "happy friend" isnt supposed to constantly **** in their tummy- making sure they're still paper thin

the "happy friend" isnt supposed to lay in bed- tears welling in their eyes

the "happy friend" isnt supposed to feel the constant weight of the universe resting on their chest

why would i feel that

after all

i am the "happy friend"

Have you ever been so tired, You're too tired to sleep?

You're my awful addiction
I'd let you break my heart every day
Just to see you smile

I may never have liked myself
But no matter what I went through
I was proud of who I had become

No matter the times
The temptation
I hadn't given up

I have always promised myself I'd never change myself for anyone
But for a fraction of your time
I'd rearrange every part of my being

And I don't know what's sadder:
The fact that I'd lose myself for you,
Or the fact you wouldn't even notice.