To the people that have lost someone to an OD. I want you to know that they are watching over you everyday. This is about my aunt she would be 23 on December 10th and she would be a mother for the first time. But her stoy should be told. She grew up in a foster home wasnt until the age of 3 she got adopted by her forever family.  As a child my grandma said she was sweet and lovely. When she hit her teen years thats when things took a turn. She was getting into fights with my grandma and running away. Until she came upon some nasty drugs. That lead to her 6ft in the ground and a  family left in grief and sorrow for wishing they could have helped her more. Unfortunetly some people don' t want the help until its to late. I remember the day like yesterday when I found out my aunt/2nd mom had passed away. Its a day that haunts me the most. But I have learned to get through the days one step at a time. So please all I ask is check on your loved ones frequently make sure there mental and physical health is doing good. Tell them you love them because one moment they are here and the next they are gone.

My heart is pounding
My hands are shaking
As the votes are being made its a race against time on who will win.
Will our world go to **** or will it be rebuilt into a safer place.

Goodbye to the oven that I learned to bake my first dish.
Goodbye to the old stairs leading up to the dark scary attic.
Goodybye to the shed that held my first and last bike.
Goodbye to the swing set that was used as a pirate ship.
Goodbye old house for I had many memories but it is time that I move on and adventure new places.

I promise to protect you from the outside world.
I promise to make you feel special.
I promise to hold and cherish our momments together.
I promise to love you until the day I die.
Little brother you are growing everyday and your big sister is so proud of you and all the accomplishments you have made in life.

I say I'm okay but deep down I hurt.
I hurt from rejection.
I hurt from the humilation.
I hurt from the embrrassment.
I feel i'm this target and the world is aiming for me.

Where do we go after we past?
Is it just a black hole that we see.
Is Heaven and Hell real
because lately it feels like God isnt on my side.
I feel as if the whole world is against me.

The scars on my body are reminders
Reminders  of how I ******* my family.
Reminders of how I no longer have hope.
Reminders that at the end of the day my demons win once again.
They are reminders that i'm still alive and can feel the pain that I am being put through.