i never noticed how much humans express through touch until it wasn't an option anymore
never realized
that fast hugs because you're nervous i won't reciprocate
and play fighting
and jabs in the ribs after jokes
and tackles in warm cement
your smiling face pressed staring back at mine
and when our hands used to touch on accident
were so important to me until i couldn't do them
ur so close yet so far

i think im scared of love
of handing myself over to someone
of letting them bask in my secrets and knowing me deeply
of someone knowing who i am through and through even though i don't know that yet
so instead i trick them
i give them pieces of myself and make them seem important
i give them insignificant  details so they trust me
i trick myself into thinking that they love me
when all they love is the version of me that i play when i stand in front of them

the moon is my friend
she cradled me in my past life
she handed me to my mother when it was time for a new one
she gave me fruit when i was younger
sometimes she leaves
but she always returns

when the living finally sleep and our minds go blank
we escape into the clouds and that's when we can see the stars up close
and reunite
dead and alive
stars and not stars

when we die we turn into stars
we live in the sky
and at night our light covers the living like a blanket
and in the day we watch over them
and even though they can't see us
we are there