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Mar 17 · 160
do you realize?
maritza Mar 17
if you want me, look for me under your bootsoles
do you realize that when dead we are all the same?
dirt under a sole or maybe the dirt that lets a tree grow
Walt Whitman wrote the first line
Mar 17 · 80
can't fathom
maritza Mar 17
"My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations."
See I have that exact problem
except my thoughts are more like hail
and hail can't form constellations
john greens fault in our stars is overrated
Mar 4 · 386
roots
maritza Mar 4
“I’ve put out a lot of little roots these two years,” Anne told the moon, “and when I’m pulled up they’re going to hurt a great deal."

Am i going to miss those roots as much as I think i am?
maritza Mar 2
1.why isn't there a word in between love and like? one is too small and the other too big.
2.what do i call an almost love? a love where we would've ended up together if we had more time.
3.do i like you or the you in my head?
4.why must my best ideas come too late when if i turned on the light to write or hit the space bar on my laptop i will let others know of my unquietable mind?
im in chemistry on a tuesday
Feb 26 · 158
i wish i was gone
maritza Feb 26
u will never remember all the words you said to me
but i will always remember how they made me feel
the only time i escape is in my imagination now
Jan 28 · 161
last time
maritza Jan 28
if i knew the last time i saw you was going to be the last
i would've pushed through the crowd
shoved everyone away until it was just me in front of you
i would've wrapped my arms around you
shoved my head in your chest
would've said goodbye i'll miss you and how much you meant to me
but i didn't know
so instead i looked away as you searched for me
i blended into the crowd and willed you not to find me
i hate the past me
i might see you again soon i hope
Jan 28 · 155
god
maritza Jan 28
god
god i cry on the bathroom floor
if you're real take me
take me so i can be happy again
he left laughing while tears streaking down my face
he returned with a spoonful of pain
shoved it down my throat claiming he knew best
my mom prays to him constantly
Jan 28 · 149
wish you were here
maritza Jan 28
I wish you were sitting next to me right now
your guitar would be in your lap and you would be strumming the perfect notes to settle my whirlwind of thoughts
my eyes would close and i would slip into the darkness
no comment on this one
Jan 28 · 172
one of my best days
maritza Jan 28
remember how the grass felt
and how our laughs were loud
and how the sunset made everything dark
and how i ran across the street
daring the cars to hit me
because at that moment i felt untouchable
and nothing could hurt me
and everything was perfect
and that was the present and now its the past
and our present doesn't feel like a gift we share but something i suffer by myself
i wish i had a time machine and also don't run across streets without checking both ways
Jan 28 · 785
do you remember?
maritza Jan 28
you sit playing your guitar
you strum and the strings make a noise
which makes a line
which makes a verse
which makes a song
which makes me happy
i wish i could go back
Jan 28 · 146
songs
maritza Jan 28
i wish i could take the way songs make me feel and stuff them in my pocket
then whenever i just need an escape they would be there
i would get one, stuff it in my mouth and swallow like a pill
except pills are stupid and these would fill me
if u need to take pills tho take them im just dumb
Jan 28 · 122
i overreact
maritza Jan 28
my head hurts
i don't know if its from the light from my phone
it probably is let's be honest
or from thinking of you
i think about you a lot though and have never suffered anything more than heartache
so im going to go with the former
no comment
Jan 28 · 167
breath
maritza Jan 28
i love the smell of salt in my hair
the feel of sun kissing my skin
i love the moon and her friends when they're reflected across the water
i love the sand that never leaves me and the shells that sit patiently in my pocket
waiting for me to admire them
and i love how fast the day goes and how when i run on the beach i think of nothing except of the air that goes in and out of my lungs
and how its impossible that this me
this me with a smile on her face simply because the cold water makes her happy
is the same girl who cries and screams when her body finally can't hold her feelings anymore and she overflows
because how can that girl exist when the ocean is reminding me to breath
the tide pulls in and out
i love the beach
Jan 28 · 110
our odds
maritza Jan 28
the odds of us being alive are basically zero
so us existing at the same time is pretty extraordinary to me
Jan 28 · 126
fate?
maritza Jan 28
even though i don't believe in heaven and gods and "everything happens for a reason"
i like the idea that some things are like fate
that they're destined to happen no matter what
that our relationship was so magnificent
that the stars crossed right just for us
and i mean even if fates not real and i just lucked out
just existing at the same time in history at the exact same place as you is amazing
Jan 28 · 108
it's 11:02
maritza Jan 28
i never noticed how much humans express through touch until it wasn't an option anymore
never realized
that fast hugs because you're nervous i won't reciprocate
and play fighting
and jabs in the ribs after jokes
and tackles in warm cement
your smiling face pressed staring back at mine
and when our hands used to touch on accident
were so important to me until i couldn't do them
ur so close yet so far
i miss you but not in the way i used to
Jan 28 · 123
im an actor
maritza Jan 28
i think im scared of love
of handing myself over to someone
of letting them bask in my secrets and knowing me deeply
of someone knowing who i am through and through even though i don't know that yet
so instead i trick them
i give them pieces of myself and make them seem important
i give them insignificant  details so they trust me
i trick myself into thinking that they love me
when all they love is the version of me that i play when i stand in front of them
im my biggest critic
Jan 28 · 1.5k
Luna
maritza Jan 28
the moon is my friend
she cradled me in my past life
she handed me to my mother when it was time for a new one
she gave me fruit when i was younger
sometimes she leaves
but she always returns
not all of them are about stars and stuff i promis
Jan 28 · 177
dead=stars pt.2
maritza Jan 28
when the living finally sleep and our minds go blank
we escape into the clouds and that's when we can see the stars up close
and reunite
dead and alive
stars and not stars
i promise they get better these first ones are just gonna ****
Jan 28 · 151
dead=star
maritza Jan 28
when we die we turn into stars
we live in the sky
and at night our light covers the living like a blanket
and in the day we watch over them
and even though they can't see us
we are there
first poem since 2018 ik it ***** but whatever

— The End —