~My Mind

You don’t know
The pain I’ve experienced in multiple failed relationships that I’ve ran from
just to reroute back into a new host.
A recycling mindset thinking I found the one once again.
A mentality to give up quickly when problems arise vs have patience towards my lover point of view.
or or or  simply think they won’t hurt me for the last time.
Contemplate percentages on how much emotion I should show.
Do you really want to go through this because I don’t think you do kid!?

~My Mind

You don’t know…
The trauma I’ve fought daily within myself to do the right thing-
because my own flesh wanted to do what it wanted to do & not God’s way.
Trying to still be low-key “perfect” in an imperfect world, yet feels perfect world.
Saying “I got it I got it” when I’ve never had it until faith took me faithfully that day because I was lucky.
Not realizing the weapon that prospered against me, was me.

~My Mind

You don’t know.
Having to constantly prove my worth to those I adore.
Seeking validation for my hard work, ideas, my worth
just for them to say meaningless words
in criticism at my dreams
or spit perceptions upon my feet in foul laughter,
All just for approval…

~My Mind

You don’t know.
You don’t know the pressure & weight I’ve endured as a black man.
On this battlefield with 50 other different shades of skin,
surviving on pay checks, to fight to the top of the throne we humans call “business”.
Trying to make beyond the figures of one’s lifetime to pay off rooted tree debts.
Defending my honor in pride & through ego in demand
that the next man will not 1-up me.
Because I owe it to my family since I’m the chosen one.