Silent in the dark
Oh little one sleep
Faint not of heart
Tender mercies will come

Oh little one sleep
Faint not of heart
Tender mercies will come
Silent in the dark

Tender mercies will come
Silent in the dark
Oh little one sleep
Faint not of heart

Faint not of heart
Tender mercies will come
Silent in the dark
Oh little one sleep

You asked me what I wanted
A soft life, I replied
You poured me another glass of red
In an iridescent cup
When I press it to my lips
It is sweet
I have lived
Through enough bitterness
A soft life. You promised.

Climb into my bed
Warm skin on gray sheets
I tilt my head back
One more kiss
Before the moon
Takes over for the sun
One more kiss

You're so utterly soft
It is a comfort
Like a blanket of snow
On a sleeping village

There is still dirt under my nails
From digging
In damp soil
It fills in the little crevices on my palms
Small rivers between my pores

Today I feel terribly human
Is anything else so bitter sweet?
I could stare into the sun for a moment
Let his rays penetrate into my skull
Permeate my thoughts
Brighten them, enrich, soften, melt

I suppose any thought after would feel
Utterly dark
Like the soil clenched in my fist

I am caught in a between a rock and a hard place
Between my insecurity and my heart

Are you weary of this body yet
My falsehood
Was believing we were even
In belonging to one another
Or to even belong at all
Know if you can love me
I want you to
If such a thing
Is beyond your capabilities
Hold no doubt
That you should be rid of it
Hold not to the grafting of a heart
Over your chest
When your own beats
So steadily in your chest

When we are done here
I will save the parts of us
That make beautiful fiction
I do not always want to acknowledge
The unhealed parts of my self
That seep into my clear waters
I do not expect you
To kneel at my muddy banks
And drink
Know that I would see you quenched
Not thirst
How long will the threshing floor turn
While I wait hungry
For the grain to separate
From my sins

I am hopeful
Stupid, but hopeful

It brings tears to my eyes
That you love the words of a broken heart so
So much

You were so beautiful, I wished you were something I had written
But I do not think I could ever love something I had made this much

You'll feel better when you're leaving
I am empty in the morning
Remembering, sonder
How full I was the night before
We lit candles in the basement
Here we are burning out
Faster than daylight in the winter
Our solstice stealing sun from the sky
To give one more star to the night
Now my days are parting
Hours staying, hours passing
Maybe I hate
That we can never be strangers again
I knew you once, not enough
Already too much
We drown in a single thought
I can't see past your smile anymore
These are the tears of a one night love
The day could not carry on
You whistle on your way out the door
I'm not sure I ever knew before
What music was for

How many stars is a soul worth
Would you sell?
Buy?
Or trade?

Or keep you soul entrapped in a beautiful cage
Known as your body
So that your heart would never be alone?

light up the walls of my paper thin soul
such that I would burn out
would you be more careful
if my fuse was shorter than it is now

this fuse; she has been blown
out of water and reality alike
many a time, and many a time again
when consent was but a dying lie

and this she calls her dying art
to live each day as if a few had never happened
as if such shadows did not cling to her heels
like every memory was a not a venomous snake

if you bit into her memories
they would not taste like your own
the are unfamiliar in their rendering
and foolish in their aftertaste

the lingering scent of midnight tears
and a thousand scars, each handmade
wrought into her body and the backs of her eyes alike
only some will heal, and only some fade

others, like your own eyes
you forgot they are their
until you turn to the glass
and find only your soul looking back

what could you shut out
if you had a door in your mind
some nights would you lock it
like you lock away me in your life

to stow away like voyagers on a ship
not a care to where it would go
only that it takes you far and it takes you from
all that you have known and that has forced its memory upon you

silent and serpentine these dreams pass
through my shoulders and across my cheeks
into the hollowness of my head
to writhe in agony in a dying light

and still these lights they flicker in the wind
would that you would close the window
but still my soul shivers in anticipation
of the knife to my heart, oh Ceaser's ghost hear me

would you even hear the depth of my scream
as it calls to you in the shadows of my mind
here I hold you, twixt hand and sternum
such that you would ever cling to me

I am but a fool, secure in my own folly
and that which I stand upon is treacherous
the closing of my eyes will not steady my legs
and stamina oh she has abandoned us long ago

I am weak in all but that I have done before
the anxiousness of my bones is a crutch and I crumble
like the walls of a tower without a foundation
and such is this I stand upon

soon I too shall fall into the earth
her waters shall reach me in the end of days
and pull me out, to be one with wind and waves
oh a memory sunk to the abyss

such is this
a candle heart
and a paper thin dream
just enough life
to ignite a soul

burning out
among the stars

The clocks will toll
Ah, the midnight hour
My soul again
Will leech out my fingertips

What could break my soul but this
The unnumbered skies
Still, free pouring, moments
Riddled with the thoughts
Of God himself
These thoughts are timeless
And these hopes - endless
As the days of the maker himself
Such that I could taste eternity

Let burn my soul dry
And whisper my ashes into the beyond
An abyss barren of kings, and quiet, and shame

You are everything
To my nothingness
Like an ocean, forever raging its waves
Upon shore,
Sand,
And soulless cliffs of desolation alike

Still no saltyness could compare
To that which we soaked our sheets with,
Secrets wrought in moonlight
To kiss yesterday's memories
As though we knew
They were dreams in passing
Dreams ever present
And dreams moving on

I am just your average nut case
Searching for her soul mate
Inside endless cartons of ice cream

When you ask for space
Know I will stand
Arms open wide
In the gap between
Tell me of your fears
And demons
Of how the darkness crawls towards you
In broad daylight
Tell me of how you faced it
It does not matter
If you were scared or brave
You are human
Bearing the burden
The great weight presses on your chest
Its face turns to yours
Whispers in your ear
It will never be light
This is not our first avalanche
Not our first burden
For you
I would hold up the sky
For you I would press my palms
Into the clouds
Feel the rain run down my arms
Like blood
And when I look the rain is red
It is no matter

You told me to talk to you
I am distant even from myself
Do you know how long it would take to get there
And then go all the way back to you

Eyes to see
Ears to hear
No room for fear

If you asked me now
To my face
What I would have wished for
Since before birth
While I was still in the womb
To have, and carry
With me to the extinguishing
Of my numbered days
My answer would be such
And I would spit it
Into your face, your throat
And your eyes
So that it burned like hellfire
Into your stomach
I would need you to know
But more importantly remember
Like a scar
On the back of your hand
And a thought piercing your mind

It would be nothing foolish
Though futile nonetheless
I would not ask for a life without pain
Or the riches of the streets
That I awake the dust from
It would be just this

Spare me
Spare me the hopelessness
Let me not even taste it
Like metal in my mouth
And smoke from a dying fire
In my breath

Spare me the hopelessness
The mental end of the rope
The end of the line
The no more track,
We have already come to far
You can turn back
But for what
But
For what
And for who
And why

Just
Spare me the hopelessness

This life tried to take me by the horns
The world tried to lead me by a leash
And I choked
Choked out
On misery and despair
And I lay naked on the ice
With my nails scratching into the frozen ground
Trying to dig my own grave
Still trying to light my existence like a match
Just to feel
Feel something
And have it over take me
But still be unchanged
To taste
But not be consumed

I wanted to live
To wade in the water
To pour my love out
Like a river over the cliffs
And dash myself
With the waterfalls
Over the rocks
Again and again
And again

I would meet you in the stars
And we could dance with the sun
Coaxing her into a rising
To drench the horizon with her light
And the fill the earth with promise

And if you asked me
What would you take from the rest of the world
I would be silent
Fold my hands
Like a prayer in my lap
But my mind she would run
To the back of my teeth
And my voice she would catch
In the hollow of my neck
And what I wouldn't say is that, "I would take,
Take it all,
Ever bit of hope
From east and west and beyond the seas."

Because to fall into this
The tunnel with no light at the end
Is a death
I cannot live out

So spare me
Spare me the hopelessness

Looking to the crackling fire and say; "you have met your match."

You were a millennia of love
A passion I tasted
For but one lifetime of the moon
And as I held your hand
Against the eons
And you whispered unto my soul
Every secret bound within your immortality
To show me what it is
To give meaning to something
When you have had nothing
And could have everything under the sun
You gave up to me
All the ways you could die
Yet I find nothing but life
In the age of your expanse
And in the quiet of your touch
So pour into me
As I am spent out upon you
That we would make a spark
To be a momentary star
In the sky of the eternal

I can be honest
About everything
Except my feelings towards you
I could spin you
Word woven tapestries
About the way
The moon stirs my heart
But may God lean against
What stirs for you in me
This gentle hunger
The weak spot in my throat
Time moves sideways
Breathe baits
Catching on the last lingering hope
That you would burn for me

I have questions for you
Wondering where you keep
Small fireworks
That jump between our skin
When we are not one

You are not Fourth of July
You are not Christmas
Or birthdays or holiday
You are the first day after a long winter
When I turn my face to the sun
Remembering her warmth
Remembering there is comfort

Keep your name
It is gentle
The way it rolls off my tongue
Soft summer rain on glass
No one will say it like I do
But I will beg them to try

If you knew me once
You will never be lonely again
I am with you
I am part of you
The pieces of you in me
I will keep company
I will speak to them
I will cherish

When our souls danced
It was small magic
Big lights
Burning up the sky
I do not care
That one day
All the stars will fall to the earth
They will not burn as brightly as you and I

Idle thoughts make quick work of my security

We tarnish for ourselves
Whatever we think we are not worthy of
If my love is too big for you
We will cut it down to size
Take something sharp to my fraying edges
So there is no chance of making you bleed
I bared my fragile heart
Showed you unconditional love
For you to name me liar
Staying was selfish
Leaving is too
But whatever you need
Whatever is best for you

My ghosts know me
Better than your friends know you

Sitting by the circle of fire
Alone with coals
Ghosts will come soon
To welcome ghouls

Not everything is life or death
I hear it, but I don’t believe it
For me, it has been
Not living, surviving, scraping by
By my paper thin finger nails
I dug into you
It seems now
I dig my grave
To burry my grieving body
Of every sin she ever possessed
The smoke burns white
I am no saint
I fixed my eyes before me
The Isaiah crucifix ahead
I am not the first to burn
Pray I will be the last
Pray I am enough
Of an offering

I was dying within the skin that would not love me back
The husk of a man
Broken before his eighth birthday
They took even the shoes from his feet even as they gave them
The same they did with their love
Told him it could not be for him
It was not supposed to be this way
Let time change all things
A baptism of a saint
You martyr with the name sinner

For someone who could of passed as Christ
I've never seen anyone act less like God

You were not meant to carry my burdens
Though if you knew of them you so scarcely gave it second thought before stacking them on your shoulders
You were not meant for this weight
Were you not told
Even Angel's long to look into these things
They have wings
Bird's have hollow bones
You and I are heavy and full and soft
Or we were before
Now we are separate
And not the same

Do you remember the bygone seasons
When I was winter
When you were spring

Are you budding again
Like awakened trees
Are you opening your eyes
To sunlight melting the freeze

My words have gone asleep and away
We each buried our dead
Stacked the rocks
Mourned, grieved
I felt for you, maybe not the right things
I hope you are gentle on yourself again
We both know I could forgive anyone's harshness but my own

I just love to think of you
Your memory is a spring day

This is not that time
I feel no different
I didn't make myself like this
I have not made much of myself at all

Just a dream
       In a bottle
       ( I lost its lid)
    I blew steam in your face
               And then we danced
     Until the dreams were drunk
           And the truth was smeared
             Like the makeup on my face

my heart wants to come home
            but it is lost in your veins
                    so used to your love map
                          that it cant find any other way
                                         it had the treasure I lost
                                               you gave all the love away

You seek for your spirit to be fed
I seek your satisfaction
We sit here at a stone table
Both hungry

Tell me you are a child
I will not ask for how long
I am tomorrows memory
And you, todays

This body has tricked me
I am easily deceived
To think I am
The brain beneath the crown

Another man wore thorns
I am naked
As a newborn lamb
Only half as pure

Snowflakes sit in your dark hair
Star crystals in an auburn sky
They drip, melt, run, dry
I change much quicker

I am not patient
For even a moment
I am the rainbow
Waiting behind the storm

Are you ready
For something beautiful
You will not see me
Beginning or ending

I will only remember you
Look at me
The way you did
After the flood

We are in the mountains again
We made our sacrifice here
The stone is split
A perfect half, how unholy

Feast your eyes
Your body will still hunger
I will break
Like bread.

I look for your body
In a bed you do not sleep in
I long for you
As spring does
For summer to follow
I look for you
Constellations in a night sky
You waited for me
I am wise now