My head in my hands
My heart in yours
The noise is overwhelming
What if I silence it?

The blood on the walls
Speaks
More than the bullets in them
Maybe their metal mouths
Are sewn
Shut
Trying to whisper into the concrete
But heaven doesn't hear
And hell
Never cared

Our shower talks
Remind me of confession
Someone behind the curtain, listening
The other speaking
Vulnerable
Trying to get clean
Feeling the heat
The pressure
Letting it wash away

The hands of God
Dig into our world
Tearing her chest apart, in less than a tenth of the time it takes to beat a single note
What is dying than to be closer to the stars
Will I ever remember the sweetness of my own name

You dug it into my skin with your nails
That you would find my retributions deep within my skin
Only bones for your labors
Still my confession sits in the back of my throat
And none shall pass
Except the prayers my fear mumbles in foolish comfort
Like shadows across the moon
These words are wind and my inhibitions just leaves

When the rain comes down
To weep the ending of the world
The uncreating
You were in the womb
Will you cling to me
And such you came forth
Your heart so young in its beating
That your fingers curled around mine
You let liquor kiss your lips just so she could speak your honesty
Finding nothing for your troubles
Will you lay with me
Or is that your footsteps I hear retreating in the dark

I spoke to myself
As if a whisper had never been heard

You're words have moved me
My soul is shifted
Stability is wanting
And I have no fulfillment

I lay in my bed
Maybe my fingers a bit cold
The warmth of the body next to me
It only goes so far
Maybe warming my whole arm
Most of my leg
And enough through my side to reach my bellybutton, but that's about it
I have bad circulation
Yet the thoughts in my head get around just fine
I am hesitant to wrap my fingers around yours
Shy in the dark
So I settle for just one single lock of hair
It can't be more that thirty strands
Still it is thirty pieces of you I can't do without
I think quietly to myself
Maybe love isn't falling
It's laying.
Laying down next to another
Listening to them breathe in the dark
Its a pace
With no moving
Just a chest rising and falling and sheets dancing along
Just two warmths in an emptiness
That could of been filled alone
It isn't chaotic
It's quiet and peaceful and if you were afraid of the dark atleast you're not afraid alone
I'm shy in the dark
Maybe it's the moonlight on your skin
Coming through the window
I stayed awake just to see it dance on your face
But I'm shy in the dark
Even though I know it so well

Its welcome in the darkness
But scary in the light
It leaves me feeling empty, cold and tight
The contrast of the noise
The difference of confusion
A quiet I can understand
A battle I am loosing

A child afraid of noises and whispers
Not knowing the real fear hides inside
Mixed with the truth
Mixed with the lies
Hidden from protective eyes

The moment of peace
The weight of tears
Pain carried through the years

Knowledge is the great plunderer of youth
Intuition was a better friend
She knew before she was told
Have you never felt fire of life in your belly
Glass stars in your fingertips

Immaturity lacks discretion
Here we are silent, void of words
This truly is enough
If you let it be

Maybe you are broken too
Maybe you aren't okay
But hey, as long as we were together
I knew everything was going to be alright
Now you are gone, and others came alone
And I just sit here, and sing a bad song

I can be quiet, while I scream from inside
So run away *****, you have no where to hide

Train the silk worms to crawl in formation
Over my corpse
In China, they wont of heard how I died
By a broken heart

Classic

But teach them to trace the skin on my body
Show them to dance over my frame
Let them see the effect of loss

Lead them over me
They could almost pass through me

My heart once hard
Till you made it soft
Held it together
So it wouldn't get lost

Teach them to run
Over my eyes
I will never see you again
Never journey inside your mind
Not be part
Of the moments when you are kind

Between my fingers they can sleep
Where your hands once held
Each of my own

Teach the silk worms to crawl in formation
Make me a casket of finest silk
Let them wrap me up in lace
So you can no longer see my face

the only thing I saw hiding under my nose

          were your soft lips

I couldn't see you mouth goodbye

The sky
Is soft pink tonight
As the sun slowly sets
*
It reminds me of you

Wait
As patiently
As death
And just
As quiet
For the light
To come
After the fading
Of the twilight

I worshiped your skin
A church to enter
A place to pray
Forever humbled
Let me honour you

You told me you like beer
I think you drink it because you want your mouth to have something to do
Your hands to have something to hold

We grow
We change
There are more blessings
Beyond today

freedom from sentimental
           S
                 L
                     A
                            V
                     E
             R
     Y

Yoke's of my burden

                     l      i     f       t     e     d

from my shoulders

My doubts find me in the night
Two and a thirty-nine will make it to the light
Here we lay twixt earth and sky
Here we sleep, here we lie

I always wondered why you slept so much
I thought there was no rest for the wicked

I'm a poet
I know not sleep

But I know
Your face

The way it looks
In my mind

In the early hours
Before the dawn

I can hear you call
My name in anger

You are my love
And I your stranger

Hello I whisper
To the stars

And I know they
Hear me

Even though
They are so far

I couldn't wait
For you to smile

I want to dance
To the music in your eyes

I want you
To know

My kisses are yours
And every breathe I breath

Is a gift you receive
I will not rest

While you wake
And since I am not

With you now
I cannot sleep

So your memory
Awake

I will keep

Sleep is not a gift given to me tonight

I lay myself to rest every night
Inside my memories of you sleeping next to me
Hoping that you will fill the empty space that is left behind
All these memories gather together like storm clouds in your wake
And I am left with such
A head to full
And a heart to empty
To have any rest at all

I wish that you were here to hold me tight
Or even that I could cling to you
Something to anchor me in the ungodly hours of the night
I have naught but dreams and they are such a tragedy
When you are such a beautiful thought and not to bad in reality

These sheets twist and twine around me
Such as our bodies used to do
I would even take the quiet of your breathing
In place of these haunting dreams creeping in my ears
I writhe in my sleep, almost like I am seeking
For a someone or a something that is not there
If I had three wishes I would ask for such
My hand to be held in yours
For sleep as sweet as the dew on the grass in the morning
And that I would wake up next to you just as I fell asleep so many nights

So little it may seem, and little it may be
I just want to sleep with you next to me

There is a fold in my heart
An uneven crease
Like my heart
Might be missing a piece

Look at me when you say goodbye
Not the red-fire approaching end
This was just a dream
Now you are my memory of love

I couldn't tell you
What time
I woke up this morning
Sweating, scared
Am I blind
Is a mask
Slipping over my eyes
I don't know
If my heartbeat is fast
Or beating at all
The smell of flesh
Burning underneath my nose

I hum
When I need to calm myself down
Am I panicking now
Where am I
The back of my throat, dry
Skin beneath my eyes, wet

Eyes, sweating
Pores, crying
Breathe into me
Bring me above water

I throw my sheets off
Thinking I'm tangled
In thoughts
Blankets

There is a man
Next to me
Is this a dream too
A barrier
Of bones
A continent
Between me
And the rest of the world
Oceans of confusion
I cannot bridge

I cannot stomach this dream
It bit into me
A cannibal, feasting
Wishing to devour
Eat me up
Drink me down
With a thousand year hunger

I hum
Voice shaking
As much as my hands

I grab the back of your shirt
Afraid of slipping
Back into the dreamscape
I smell burning flesh
Hair
Sins I am not sure
Are my own

Will I attone for them
I hold no ground here
Between chasms
No charm
For serpent tongued liars
No bribe
For master cohorts
Who smile
At the face of death
The face
Of a dear friend

I was younger
Before this dream
Nightmares cost years
I turn my pockets inside out
Nickles and dimes
For Cerberus
Death will make me her *****

Did I make this
In my own head
Questioning sanity
Bring the rod down
On my knuckles
Who will answer
At the stand
Under oath
Skeleton judges
Don't care for lies

I was dreaming
Deep
Sinking deeper
In a black river

Cutting tiger stripes
Into a cat
With burning talons
Searing sins
Into flesh
Instead of feathers
Hair
Instead of candle wicks
Who am I

Humming

I am no bird

Did I do this
Did I watch
How unordained

My body a temple
I a devout sinner
Priests and saints
Baptize me in their water
I find myself no cleaner
Than ashes
Sprinkled
In the wind
An unholy adornment

I hum

Am I deserving of comfort
Do my knees bend
My lips
Remember prayer

I hum
Under the water
It's boiling
Is this hell
Am I evil
Am I wrong
Will I burn

I hum

I am not God

For you,
I hope the pain eases soon
I hope it is gentle suffering

She who is first and last of her name
Cries out!
She is lain in the earth, whom has longed to hold her again
As quickly as she is put to rest
Enveloped in her first love
How sweet is morning
When you know death will come

What is this I have found?
A smile on my face.

Where have you come from?
And why were you gone so long?

I did not realise until your return how much I have waited for this reunion.

I do not beg for you to stay, still I wish that you will not leave for atleast a while yet.

Take your time, and make a few wrinkles on these cheeks of mine.

Stretch to my eyes if you need, and down to my toes warm me up.

Oh that you could forge a smile
That made it all the way to your eyes
It sputters out at the corners of your mouth
Your eyes do not dance in the light

Barely do I even try
To fake a perfect smile
Still you must be the fool
To believe such a thing

But I am not innocent
Still I want no blame
That I would make such a thing
To trap you within

We cannot all see past the surface
Is not the depth of the water
Unknown by those on the shore
Until they break open the waves

It is a silent cry
From the hollows of my cheeks
You cannot touch with your hands
That which you see with your heart

The smoke has cleared
From your magic show
I can hear the music
It sounds like peace
Don't let it play so quiet

Don't just say sorry
And ignoring me isn't better
Just open your troubled heart
And write me a letter

Won't you open
You muttering mouth
Just say the words
It's okay to get them out

I want to hear
Every single thought
Inside of your mind
We won't get caught

Inside your eyes
I see the stars and the dark
But you just think
The night falls apart

We don't fall or trip
We get dragged to the edge
And as we jump beyond
We kiss the ledge

Never what I expect
Less than my dreams
I don't want a nightmare
But an in between

Just because you are nice
Doesn't mean no trouble
And if you give me one
I'll make it double

It isn't over if we fight
Words aren't the end
It's only over if
You walk away my friend

We are all alone
I'm not at your side
But that doesn't mean
You have to hide

I said I am sorry
That doesn't make it right
But don't you dare
Leave me alone in the night

Someone always dies
On the inside of their eyes
And so they kiss
Their way through the lies

Truth is better than before
A sweeter taste on my lips
But as you touch
The curve of my hips

I spurn your questions
As the giggles burst
Unbidden from my lips
Night are the worst

Let me go I scream
But my heart yearns
For you to hold me close
Swim through my tears

You drive me crazy
In the sweetest way
But I want this to be
A sane and happy day

Everything at once
All the time
Never ever make the choice
To stand in line

Faces in between two hearts
Sometimes it's the faces
That tear us apart
Or maybe the places

I don't really know
I don't really care
Because in the end
The beginnings aren't there

Less that the sky
More than the earth
Sometimes I crawl
Inside my hearth

To feel the warmth
And let it burn
And when it's time
It will be your turn

I handed you my smile
And you loved it then
But now I see
That was all pretend

I am cruel in nature
Your eyes bitter sweet
But I am not a dog
And you my treat

I will beg
Roll over and die
To get the life
Inside your eye

Just break the silence
Chopped in half
Over so soon
I thought it would last

My words are nothing
In your head
Because you don't listen
To what is said

I would rid my world
Of all the support
If you could help me
Bury all my hurt

Dress me in silk
And dowse the fire
Before I catch
And burn any higher

One finger to you lips
And I will still
But you must know
I don't bend to your will

Sometimes before its over
The heat will consume
Every breath
Inside of this room

To fill your lungs
With my own air
And know this world
Is just not fair

Like smoke we dance
At the last midnight
We run to the woods
And hide from the light

I wait in the silence
You so quickly created
I said I am sorry
And my breath is bated

I hide my eyes
Underneath my cloak
But this rope constricts
As if to choke

Just enough left
To fight this battle
I will keep your secrets
As you start to tattle

A lesson given
A lesson learnt
But all my scars
Are done and burnt

Enough to know
You think of me in torment
Even though I thought
You were my god sent

The worst dreams
I ever had
I get them all
From your Dad

He fills my terrors
With evil lies
And my tears
Fill these eyes

I would run to the sky
To find a place
Where no one
Knew my face

Goodbye I kiss
And goodbye I mourn
But each goodbye
Is a Hello in turn

I am the smell of sage
Comfort food in your mouth
I will not cleanse you
I fill your stomach
Your hands
What more will you ask of me
You cannot make yourself

I can never enjoy the radiant heat
I must touch the coals
I am compelled
By what burns inside me
Who will deny me
Only myself
Nothing is lost
It was never in reach
I am the guardian
Of my own thoughts
Kindling these hopes
Against dry tinder dreams

you rubbed your face against my shoulder
I felt the bristly hairs of your beard
giggling because it tickled
you smiled as I stole the snapback from your head
you took mine and put it on backwards
I fell into your arms and I still haven't gotten out
please don't smile like an angelic demon
because my heaven is your hell

Silent
Neglected
Orphaned
Wanton

There is no reason
To look out your windows here

Unless I think you are home

In another life
I watched the snow fall
I could return to that place
No one would be there.

My head has been in the clouds
I am waiting
For it to come back down

I have been saying goodbye
For so long
My head has been in the clouds

By demand, we give
The softest parts of ourselves away
Am I truly tender?
In all my hard places

Am I?

Come
Down to my reasoning
Down to the bottom
The atoms.
Find simplicity in my complexity.
Come down darling.

.

Calm down
Darling
I can listen again
Do you hear me?
I went to the place
I could only see
I could not speak, or hear

How beautiful
To hear your voice again

A kiss on the forehead, a touch in the dark
A cold winters night, the heat of a spark

A freezing sensation, but warm and wet
A hope that Winter's not over yet

A season of ice, a season of cold
A time to tell stories new and old

Crouch by the fire, stand in the storm
Let the snow fall, and the snowflakes preform

On occasion,
When feeling particularly human
I sit in the rain
Let the sky come on to me