From that brown bottle.
It was his grasp on that brown bottle that led him to say I’m beautiful.
He claimed to be enticed by my speech,
Claims I’m intelligent, cute and not typical.
Yet I ask where he is…his hold on that brown bottle,
Drove him back to his sanity.
He’s awoken and now realises his mistakes on conversing with this plum flabby copy.
How taken I was, believing him.
His words forming rainbows of hope, wishing things turn out different.
Simple for him to step on my terrain,
Inflict some pain…yet he holds high his brown bottle and still claims I’m beautiful.
Where there any sincere words? The way he held my hand, activities he’s over-used, girls now forget he just doesn’t understand.
My importance, your significance.
Just because he warmed your skin, rubbing you gently certainly doesn’t mean you are anywhere near his book of greatness.
That to him is spreading open and giving him a taste of your pride.
A taste and an unpleasant ride.
He’d unlock your chambers and take you on a walk of sin.
Once his seen your paradise, he’s gotten a bit from your ripe orange, he’ll either reside or seek sweeter oranges.
Amazing how he used the best known gestures,
Sweet, empty words that seep from his sweet lips.
Yet they puncture my ears.
And bring to life my buried fears, I can now confess.
It’s because of this new this sort of treatment that has cemented my heart.
Preventing me now from hearing my soul mate’s knock.
So hardened it has become that bottle-holders like him seem to be daily prescription.
Appealing addictions which keep luring me back into their ambition.
He held high his cigarette.
Blowing the smoke out from his **** lips…I’d fallen deep into his admission.
Highly appealing, he’d look deeply into my eyes and fish for my weakness.
Hoping I’d lead him to my paradise,
Funny enough, I let him look me in the eyes and allowed him to try and find gold.
Yes I possess gold.
Never seen nor told…
It was when he held that brown bottle he claimed I’m special.
I seek his warmth now…
Missing his prints on my skin though I know many women who carry some awe already have those ‘handsome prints’.
Certainly not making me unique or special.
You lied yet again.
Maybe those are measures you take to feel on top of your game.
It was all after you drank the contents of that brown bottle you found me beautiful.
Stating you enjoy  my company…little did I know that’s a line that’s escaped your lips more times then your Marlboro smoke.
Yet again you’ve successfully left me broke.
Have I lost this quest for love?
Early to wish for commitment the elders warned us about.
Thoughts so divine, that brown bottle introduced me to your beautiful mind,
I thank the brown bottle because this being uttered words unfamiliar to my ears.
Sad and pathetic as it is…I thank the brown bottle for introducing me to this being who told me I am beautiful.
Thandi Xaba
7 June 2008

The bitter truth of us never entwining,
Leaves gaps of despair, clearly visible like new days dawning.
I’d pictured love a rose-embedded comfort terrain.
My being longs for your thoughts, sights highlighted only with rusted pain.
Words comfort me, sooth my swollen eyes from this visible strain.
Grieve only when I’m at rest,
Cover me with your warmth, not promising all that’s remained n the past.
Involve me in your steps in life,
As I will whole-heartedly encourage you to thrive.
Is our future visible, am I appearing artificial?
Some how all that’s sculptured on you is unmistakingly   beautiful.
Your character somehow attractive,
Smart and attentive, all you posses is angelic.
Unseen joy longs to ensure to escape and grape your soul,
Leaving glimmers of my wishes to better mankind encrusted on your being as a whole.
Reside in my poems,
Seems like my visions of our cuddle remain far from my firm hold,
Already bluntly told, never dream for gold.
When it seems I’m only capable of unleashing hurts and buried and old.
Is it a never-ending marathon?
Ran only by the luscious and slim many, which seem to win in millions.
Should my energy in binding its rich ends with yours.
Fight the resistance, press on despite the harsh unspoken course.
Have I lived to the fullest?
Seen and walked with bright souls, graced their sought-after importance.
How we wish to be loved.
Captured, taken to worlds only created melodic words.
Spin my inner-thoughts into a twirl,
Drive out all my passions, fulfilling my thirst for love and the feel of sweaty palms rubbing away the dizzy butterflies in my stomach.
A relation of intimacy and involvement slow yet growth being frantic.
Am I holding on to the impossible?
Maybe all you house is regarded false, recruiting girls naïve and gullible.
Streams of warm waters easily wet my face.
What could have shaped my out-come left me crushed and wishing for better-looking features.
A dim future, without your existence in it, one might as well not prosper.
3 Feb 2008  Thandi Xaba

What lies in store for a mind so divine,
Could never find, something like this can never be fully defined.
So I wait to see the unfolding of this amazing gift, though not mine.
There is high intrigue within your space, the kind of space I have not explored in ages.
Heartfelt words that regenerate my deepest thoughts.
I had eliminated the possibility of finding your kind. You appeared among the wolves and re-colored my imagination.
I wondered if your kind is still made, still exists...you proved me right when you gave me a glimpse to your thoughts.
Like a garden of splendor, with abundant treasure and amazing sights.
All capsuled in gold, I never want to depart from your side.
I say these words very carefully...thinking very deeply about where they could possibly lead.
Who you belong to is blessed...truly blessed since your mind posses depth and truth.
It is unknown where this will go, yet mentally entertaining, it also seems appealing.
Dangerous and exciting, a thrill known to cause heartache.
Clearly there is a rare connection if I write about it, you found dwelling in my words and stamped your arrival in my life, bringing on a surge of fresh air.
It is greatly unique that there is still a person of your calibre.
Every passing minute has you traveling along with my thoughts.
I reserve my heart, and protect my feelings.
I dread to hear the forbidden words yet I still lure the attraction.
Where will we go with this, countable is the length we've spoken and shared thoughts and every time I am left longing for more.
You are not mine and I should not wish you leave your other.
It would be so cheap of me. I'm tossed in the waves of a man who posses so much peace, importance,appeal....
We should keep this overflowing interest, this brewing interest that I suspect will lead nowhere.
I am intrigued by you, enticed by you. Don't want this to blossom, sense it'll get trampled on so fast from the realities we live in.
Words we share are pieces to a beautiful picture, stealing glances of our souls to paint the voices of our dreams.
Every detail of your personality resounds with beauty, delight and pure joy.
This feeble bubble I don't wish to destroy,
I simply relish in conversing with a mind so extraordinary.
There is so much I wish to share with you yet it would not be fair because you don't belong me.
My heart is wrapped in anticipation...waiting to hear from you.
There is so much I would say yet I hold back, out of respect  since I hold you on a high pedestal.
One I know you well deserve to be on, all despair vanishes when I hear from you.
Your fundamental likes are all similar to mine, it stuns me that we are in-line.
You inspire me to conceive words and thoughts of beauty, buried truth.
That clearly give account of how you make you feel.



Thandi Xaba 30 October 2013