I wish that I could forgive
Myself
for all the things that I've done
In the past
I wish I could forget
About all the things I've done
In the past
I wish I could lose myself
Then find the real me
I wish that I could be reborn
I wish that I could go back in time
And change everything
About myself
Because I've failed my dad the day he found out I was a girl
And I've failed my mom the day I lost my virginity
To this dumb-*** guy
I just wish I could restart my life
And do everything differently

Silence measuring pain
from the loss of my daughter at such
a young age

destruction started the year before
six month into her illness
finding life becoming undone

Doctors telling her not much time
left tears being shed
scarcity
of living
not know what she could do

changes furiously made
no doubt left on what she
had to accomplish

love increased inside her soul
wanting her last wishs to be completed
before she left this world

All were completed just in time
from finding her husband
to be with her in the final hour

Little Richard was brought to her side
she knew he was there and one part of
her was able to be at rest

Last day of her life in the hospital room
leaving a short time

I went to make final preparations for her
to be at rest
When I got back still breathing for a few
moments
I said I love you she knew my voice
just one last breath given by her
Angie was going home.

The bells broken
And the language discerned,
Break free the chains
That hold hearts vague:

I was in a dream awoken
By a wishs crescent smile
And only the blue sun
Had made the light clear.
    I had been made for this,
Clear like voices unspoken
And I am free,
Driven from the boldness
Into the sake of hope,
For hope's sake.

I say now there is nothing
And nothing has bloomed,
The age of orion
When the blood moon rose
And men became lost,
I am,
So that you will be no more,
Lost in the drizzle of the unspoken.

Rain down on me your fire,
I am found in the light of my
Structure,
Thar which they cannot break
And i am a poet,
Nevermore in the mind
Reality is fools gold,
Taken to my chambers
Where my body lays
But my soul is free.....

Never succumb,
Your truth is the dream
That you awaken from.

The falling hope that wishs things to go away.
The god awful taste of depression that's on it's way.  
It's a crime to commit self harm.
So, in these last few moments of life, what do i look forward to in the afterlife?