The South African sun caused my
Eleven year old eyes to squint.
Sat in the stadium, my father and I,
Sweated and watched rugby;
A father - daughter tradition.
That Saturday afternoon was the final,
The stands were crowded and full,
Like a fish-tank ready to burst
At any moment.
In front of my father and I,
There sat a dark-haired woman
In a lose fitting jersey.
About forty minutes in,
She bent down, sudden and quick,
Her head, hitting her kneecaps,
She screamed her intense screams;
Muffled in her own bent body,
Some spectators thought her crazy,
She continued her whails, and soon
A small crowd grew in front of us,
One man pulled her straight in her seat,
Her hands, her face, her her legs and stomach
Were all drenched red with blood.
No one ever heard the gunshot;
They traced it back to its origin,
Two hundred meters away,
Fired from a building by the stadium.
The bullet just happened to land where it did,
And the game went on.


- Jamie F. Nugent

a faded moon in the sky
the meteor showers cry
alone in the dark cold night
an emblem fire so cold yet bright
a bright star alone
forgotten and forgone
still, yet wavering
undeciding and cowering
a dreadful heartache felt to the bottom
everyone expects her to be strong
but she is not strong
like every, she falls
in the dark corner of the sky
there she lay,
the moon goddess in slumber
pretty as an ember
no one understands
yet she craves warmth
in the deepest depths of the earth
she wanders
longing for the same touch
longing for another phase of the moon
her cries fills the ocean
whails of agony creates storm
her tears twinkle amongst the horizon
with this she realizes
those who are near her are close yet so far
so close but yet so different
with every difference hurts
with every insult hurts
every put downs hurt
she laments in her own sorrows for no one understands
for she herself doesnt understand
what is the world when no one cares for her
she has no porpuse
no will
what are the richest and all the pearls in the sea when there are no one to share it with
she can only express her sorrows to those she feels safe to, yet those she feels safe towards doesnt understand
she longs her family but they deny her the warmth and love
like the sun they crave adventure and fun
like the wildfire they cut down woods and trees she planted
the sun mocks her gardens yet nourishes her flowers
with every delight comes a price
with every laughter comes cries
she fills herself with these emotions just to be taken away
with no foundation she struggles to find ground
she longs for bueaty and peace
they long for destruction and power
she longs for things to go smoothly like the river
they long for things to burn out in smoke
just like that, she burned in fire
she lacks warmth
she lacks vitality and soul
yet she needs these things but it burns her
the close she gets to the sun the more burnt she gets
she pretends not to care
she feels great pressure from a dam that cannot let go
she feels it from her mother whos holding by a knife
she finds her way,
but whichever way she turns she doesn't belong
she only truly feels safe by herself
she cannot fathom the day that she will no longer need or want her family
her family is all she has
she loves them
yet her family is bringing her down
she feels trapped and confused
with nowhere to go
the moon goddess cries in the dark
her whails echoes throughout the night
waking the wolf and the owls
all howling and hooting
she cries for help but no one comes

Why so many ignorant sheep
In this grassless land
Depression does not come cheap

It is not a joke or a tale
It is a fact that is uncontrollable
No matter how many
Meds or lonely whails
When all else fails
Don't you dare doubt my mental state
I do not fake
This burden
This demon
And don't you doubt
I've tried it all
And don't you compare
To those who didn't choose to fall
Because depression is out of your control
It takes ahold of your soul
Eats it's up and spits it out
I wouldn't lie about such a curse
Don't you dare look at me with doubt.

Where have all the poets gone the wordsmiths of this generation,  the fearless men and women once held in admiration

Lost to all eternity their anguish and their pain no love lorn tales or primal whails​ ,will be heard again

The romantics and the realist,all die a silent death
Lost to all eternity,amid the modern quest

Replaced by keyboard shorthand, emojis and the gif

Perhaps the emotions too are lost that inspired these greats, the teenage angst , the broken heart, that life cut short by fate.

The hour is late ,and sleep but a dream the pen I hold my only means ,to cleanse my soul and find my inner peace