Walking around amsterdam airport with a bag smelling like tea tree oil a flight, a bus , a coach and a 25 min walk to go ---
but for now,
I'm standing in the wrong line.
Twice.
He calls me out in 53 seconds bursts/
Stinging laughing tears trickle jump ooze --
It was only a matter of time until he would see this deeply,
only I didn't think it would feel so much like
questioning what it is I actually want from my actions and why I'm destroying so much to get there.
Or finally knowing that my self consciousness manifests as a narcissistic, heavy missile on the other side of existence.
Or that I'd be thanking him, even through this blurred pain in my chest.
That I would push away just to feel that tidal pull of love's metaphysical gravity spool and spin , turning vortexes, drawing me back to him as the worlds we built burn , rendered to fragrant ashes.
Some where else
it feels different,
lighter...
In the world behind my eyes
landscape weather systems....
swierall /
cloaouudss! We are playing
despite the uncertainty
still,
life lives her vibrant hues through me.
watchu playin at fool !!
Dance where the music is , let her 10pm sunset strokes caress you to sleep.
My centre's essence clear water sustenance
ready to flow through these charred veins,
giving myself over to mystery,
you are further away then you've been still
geographically I'm the closest I've been to you since last.
board the plane
love rushing forth for the angered tiredness from your voice runs rings round my mind,
prompts me
I'm praying now, in ernest, to Great Spirit that I may have the humility and strength, humor and vision in this becoming....
time is shushing me now,
give yourselves the healing space, she croons as I sleep sailing through the atmospheric ocean.
I wish I had all the words to make a salve and rub it on your burns so you could heal quickly perhaps though, you'd rather not. And that's ok.
