yesterday my feet rested comfortably on the bar of someone else's chair
and my eyelids slid heavy and the world seemed slow
a graph of survivorship curves glowing blurry on the whiteboard
and then words slid from behind a neatly trimmed white beard
". . . .as our bodies are programmed to die."

as our bodies are programmed to die.

thousands of miles away
one gleaming thought against a murky sky
(that's how i imagine it anyway--murky, cold,
stagnant air)
a frantic explosion of lean muscle power
and a body launching into the lake.

he was 17 and in that moment gears somewhere in this world shifted,
numbers were crunched and
some profound device processed the seconds, linking and unlinking them with an automatic, well-oiled certainty

he was 17 and the number on his football jersey suited him like wool socks on winter feet
his stride under the lights a weekly prize to all hungry, bleacher-ed, washed-up life-hunters bundled against october-night chill-streaked skies
they drank hot cocoa and he took three sips of gatorade

he was 17 and his smile
and his curls

and we all hear about hospitals but
this feels different because
he was 17 and suddenly,
instantaneously
his body was just a beep
and his skin turned the color of the walls

first the ICU painted quick brushstrokes across his wrists
then it stopped giving a **** at all

and the water rushed endlessly, heartlessly.

when I shift through memories and
find his seven-year old face in my mind, i remember a gap
where he'd lost a front tooth and i remember sunlight streaming behind his hair
it was valentine's day and he gave me a small smile and a silver charm bracelet in a powder blue box.

i shifted my feet
heard the snap of a binder closing
and all i could think about was
the oversimplification of words
and survivorship curves
and 17 years


and
and

piles of numbers spurting from a computer

and an echo of a splash.

A sweet smell, a commit sins.
A feelings, I penetrated.
A kiss, we connect.
A temptation , we move forward.
A feelings? We conclude this scene...

If each of the creatures, we call humankind their knowledge would share
Just think what our children could inherit, a world without care  

A future where there is enough food and the water is clean
Where we all finally understand the value of each living being

Where we have learned we are more alike than different, on our oasis in the universe
Perhaps the creatures of earth can then flourish, having overcome greed’s curse

Every young soldier that dies, every child that cries at night
Should fill us with shame, and entice us to hold them in warm arms tight




This planet is our only home, there is nowhere else to go nearby
Yet we call each other aliens we divide ourselves with imaginary lines unseen from the sky

I am afraid to try to think it through, men killing our future with hate filled cries
The Earth trembles with our blood, star dust as it dies

We have the means to destroy ourselves, but we have also great capacity to care
We can achieve so much together, this knowledge could take us anywhere  

It all comes down to choices, which legacy will we pass on to they now being born
A planet whole and without major conflict, or a radioactive wasteland of scorn

It is up to each one of us to remind ourselves and others, there is a better way
Life is too precious to be destroyed, avarice does not pay
  
We must open or eyes and look, all round the evidence exists and tells the story
Of how we are linked beyond unlinking, we are all part of the Universes glory

I am no Philosopher, but one thing I understand as few do
There is little, precious little, difference between me and you
A miracle has happened, in this small piece of creation
It is relevant to everyone, no matter your creed or nation

The atoms that make up our bodies, were forged long ago in a suns death flare
We are not the end of creation, we each one of us star dust become self-aware