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v V v Jan 2011
I have heard it said that the saddest songs are the most beautiful
and I have been drunk in the truth of these words.

Magnificent highs from dark verse, cruel electric addiction
euphoric bliss and shivering waves of arm hair *******
spawned from subtle cymbals and bruising bass.

this new addiction is a beast
and affliction is inevitable
once the luster is lost,

and its always lost,

longing replaced with needs never satiated.

but still I try,

there's a hole in my heart as big as the sky
its filled up with ice then songs make me cry


I’m just a tweeker
in search of a musical high
Boat floater Feb 2015
Getting back in touch with the comfort of the clutch. a miserly that I miss so much
of a life lost in the exhaust of a burnout
and u know there's only so many ways things can turn out
so no surprises
reminded every day how pointless his life is
Not the man that I wanted to b
n definitely not the man that I wanted u to see
you'll agree
the real me, is one of those things ud wanna hide and hold secretly inside
I only lied cuz some things r better untold,bring it up and watch me unfold
a cycle that gets old real fast
leaving u on the shore to watch as I cast myself into a sea of self destruction
I find comfort in the familiar dysfunction
where I finally feel like I fit!
so I sit n ride out the storm. my insecurities keep me warm as the world is torn apart
I grab a horn n start playing...I dunno something like the blues I guess.
My mom n dad made a mess who's willing to confess he's never been the best son or sibling, the one who did bring shame to the family name
A flame. Lost in he clouds of smoke.
No joke
We soak up the suffering n the sadness
To the point of madness
Dad this....isn't the way it's suppose to b,is it?
I avoid your calls n refuse to visit
Sometimes I think I hear u call my name
The way u did when I was a boy n we were playing a game
Gabblie ****, monkey, or worm
I'm 30 years old but u still use the term
After how many times this bridge has been burned
U helped me rebuild, warm welcomed return
Ud think I would learn n I did as a kid,
You'll always love me, despite the **** that I did
I use to cry when I'd see u calling when I went off the grid
I felt such failure, how many times r u gonna have to bail yer
kid outta jail, so he can just home n snort another rail
Then lie to your face, accepted my position as a disgrace
A grown man behind bars who just wants to feel daddy's embrace
To u I'm not fair we spent so much more time together while I was there
Just know that I care, but I can't bare to b swallowed by your stare
When u look in my eyes n your son is not there,
Both torn apart within that moment we share
Realize as I try my best not to look high
That Everything that I say, is still a lie to this day.
Every night I still pray that I'll wake up n not b this way
But for now all I can say is I'm sorry....silently too myself
The words "Im still a tweeker "stuck within my mouth
SøułSurvivør Jun 2017
This spoken word.
I want to talk.
Folks'll put you
In a box.
It has six sides.
There's lots in stock.
Works just like a
Broken clock.
It fits in life
Two times a day.
Once the cradle.
Once the grave.
Then they'll fix
A label, TOO.
Once it's on it

STICKS LIKE GLUE.

There's a man
Down on the street.
Not someone you'd
Want to meet.
Drinks his meals
So he won't eat.
Shuffles 'round
Sits on the curb.
He's a "mumbler".
He's "disturbed".
Talks to self
Because he's shunned.
Got a label...

He's a ***.

There's a woman
Has no phone.
Has twenty cats
'Coz she's alone.
She talks to them
When in the mood.
She's so poor
She eats their food.
Yup. She has an
Attitude.
Has no husband
Who'd get paid.
On HER there are
Labels laid...

She's a SPINSTER.
An OLD MAID
.

There's a teen
Who is arrested.
He's a menace.
It's attested.
Nope. He's not
Very nice.
He is into drugs & vice.
Is this "DELINQUENT"
Past retrieval?
Is he past knowing
'Coz he's evil?

Tie die. Peace sign.
Kinda trippy.
He's a "LONGHAIR"
He's a "HIPPIE"
.

Is she lovely?
Or "STUCK UP"
He's a "DOG"
The laughter's ****.

[chorus]
They aren't "NORMAL".
They're "unstable".
Slap 'em with a
POST-IT LABEL.


There's a girl
Who eats her pain.
Downs her food
Unrestrained.
She's bulimic
So she's "CRAZY"
She may be "FAT"
So she is "LAZY"
Another on the
"crazy" list...
His anger's inward,
He's depressed.
He may drink
So he's a "******".
Here's another label...

"LOSER"

Then there's the boy
Who lashes out.
Beats kids up.
He's a lout.
He is wild and
He is wooly.
He is labeled as a
"BULLY".
There's another
Kid who's shy.
So he gets the
Blackened eye.
He is "sraight"
He don't get high.
Nose in book,
He goes unheard.
What's his label?

He's a "NERD".

[chorus]


There's a one
We ALL know's BAD.
She was *****
By her own dad.
At age thirteen
She's "knocked up".
We ALL know her...

She's a "****"
.

There's a man
Who wears tattoos.
Labels he will never lose.
"WHITE TRASH" 'cuz
He owns a bike.
She likes women.
She's a "****".
She smokes fatties
So she's a "stoner"
He's just "weird"
'Coz he's a loner.
He loves men,
So he's a "***"
She loves him
So she's a "hag"
How'd YOU like
That odious tag?
Let's all do
The Label Rag!
Don't it make the
Tongues just wag?
It's enough to
MAKE YA GAG.

[chorus]


Tribal nation?
I'll be brief.
He's an "Indian"
Call him "Chief"
Does it make
White egos bigger
To call a black man
"BOY" or ******"?
Is that wisdom
Do ya figger?
Whatcha think
THAT'S gonna trigger?
Will the term "*****"
Do the trick?
How 'bout "******"?
How 'bout "****"?
How 'bout "****"?
That ***** Jew.
Well.
Let's take a look at YOU.

Look in the mirror.
The view is free.
Look in there!
What do you see?
Do you see yourself...

Or ME?

Is there smoke?
Are you deceived?
What's th label
You've received?


Look out dere!
HERE COME DA JUDGE!

10 feet tall & has a
GRUDGE!
And since we're getting
Really formal
Got another label.
NORMAL.
You judge someone
With capital blocks
Cuz you can't read
A CEREAL BOX?
Is prejudice the
Meal you eat?
Label on that
And it ain't WHEAT.

[chorus]


Yes. I'm white.
And I am sixty.
I ain't young. I ain't ****.
But I'm a POET
I can TALK.
I have been
Around th block.
You don't like it
You can WALK.
YOU WON'T PUT
ME IN A BOX.
I wasn't a "******".
I wasn't a "tweeker".
Was a "CRACKHEAD".
A ******* seeker.
Finally got it in my head.
There's another label.

That is DEAD.

Yeah. I'm a Christian.
"Jesus Freak"
I'm not ashamed
Because I seek!
Believe'n sure don't
Make me WEAK.

I'M DONE WITH
THE DISSIN' AND
THE TRASHIN'!
Got a concept called

COMPASSION!

Yeah. I know it's
Not in fashion...
But this no joke.
It's not a GAME.
I got a label...

It's my NAME.

I got another
Worth the seeing.
Another "label"...

HUMAN BEING.

Yeah. I'll preach.
I'm gonna shout.

My name is

CATHERINE.

Over. OUT.


SøułSurvivør
(C) 6/13/2017
Been up all night
Writing this.

Got to get some
Shut-eye...

See you all later.

♡♡ LUV YA! ♡♡
We got the ocean breeze and the seven seas.
humming birds and buzzing bees
plant's and creatures
the beauty features .
farmers armer's and those midnight charmers
we have food not hard to search for,
kids who have to line at  church door's  
         there'e are stores to by our sneekers others off to be a tweeker.
we get clean drinks with out no kinks it's the U.S.A with out no pay.
with a clean head, and a nice bed.
some call it lucky to live in a shed...
a different country roomate with a monkey ,
roof made of hay the dirt bed a lay.
we live like survivors , we search for our dinners , how is it made to be u.s.a winners?
with you're cool cars and movie stars,
you get ocupied ,
             and well supplied...
what a cool plate i'd wish for in fate
you have you're singers we eat with our fingers.
you roll those dice and hope for some nice,
lets go find dinner and cope with some rice....
Look who's at bat and serving at war,
                           you're lifes just so hard with you're  one choor.
      I want MY MONEY!!!
                                                            HA!
                                                                                             thats ****'s just funny...

_---Look at this world--
                                         with a breef glance ,
                                                                           Think of it more then some school dance.
Tea Jun 2013
You ***** a little girl.
And I saw you as a good dad
And my familys ****** up
I feel so crazy as I look up
To the sky, and through applications
I have to find a place for her
To live, as cancer steels her life
Her big personality, as finalizing choke out of me
What I am suppose to say
And as people I care come crawling out from
Dark, I park myself in the one ray of light
Fighting to stay the person that I am
Uncle you are a tweeker, But I love you
But you steel from my dyeing grandmother
I WILL ******* KICK YOU
Right in the teeth so you wont smile at me anymore
I will die
When they burn down that old house
I will die
When she lets cancer take away everything
I will die
When I don’t know what to say and its to late ill die
Frustration  overtakes me, someone save me
Im failing. No one will help an old lady out for real?
Whats the deal. What kind of world do I live in
And rewind. He touched a little girl
My grandmas is soon to be homeless
Because they will take
What made my childhood
And my uncle finds everything
He can take and runs away
And I stand alone
Trying to find her a home
And fathers day is on the way
But I don’t know what to give him
Maybe a letter that says
Thanks for growing up
Once I didn’t need a dad
And at the end
I'm still mad
Happy please find me
Please find me
*so lost, I cant even find the right buttons, right words... ****** poem, ****** home.
We got the ocean breeze and the seven seas.
humming birds and buzzing bees
plant's and creatures
the beauty features .
farmers armer's and those midnight charmers
we have food not hard to search for,
kids who have to line at  church door's  
         there'e are stores to by our sneekers others off to be a tweeker.
we get clean drinks with out no kinks it's the U.S.A with out no pay.
with a clean head, and a nice bed.
some call it lucky to live in a shed...
a different country roomate with a monkey ,
roof made of hay the dirt bed a lay.
we live like survivors , we search for our dinners , how is it made to be u.s.a winners?
with you're cool cars and movie stars,
you get ocupied ,
             and well supplied...
what a cool plate i'd wish for in fate
you have you're singers we eat with our fingers.
you roll those dice and hope for some nice,
lets go find dinner and cope with some rice....
Look who's at bat and serving at war,
                           you're lifes just so hard with you're  one choor.
      I want MY MONEY!!!
                                                            HA!
                                                                                             thats ****'s just funny...

_---Look at this world--
                                         with a breef glance ,
                                                                           Think of it more then some school dance.
A soldier frontline,
Government spine,
Broke the contracted sign,
To free my mind,
Now they give me time,
To free my mind,
***** of conscious,
I cant stand the nonsense,
Keep it tense, like the filth the radio rinse,
But they hands still *****,
Snitches grow birdy,
I hold my knuckle game stirdy,
Aint nothing purdy,
Bout this game of life,
I stick sharp as a knife,
Got a fly wife, whos down for the strife,
Tiff for tact, imagin that,
Gods is black,
With the angels holding back,
Zuez lightning rods, how odd,
Is that, dogs still chasing cats,
Cheese given to rats,
But aint smart enough,
To avoid the trap,



Verse 2 "Unreleased"

This flows any ethered,
Sneaks of the reaper,
From this bomb ******,
Explodes my mind,
Like subs of a speaker,
Feel the depths of a soul seeker,
Got ya eyes on a tweeker,
Back to this cheeba,
Met this bad chick named Anita,
Baker with the, rhymes i got,
Plus she knew, how to hook up fly food in a ***,
Gave me the best she got,
Plus she knew how,
To get me rock,
Hit hard **** slow, seven inches weighing heavy below,
Wait,
Lets keep it clean, almost had me guillotine,
Skully *******, scraping for scents of riches,
Weak ****** tried to get my picture,
In the cemetery, but i missed the bury,
Caught the blast, now they resting lovely,
Im smiling above thee,
While my moms worrying me,
Scared that'll ill be,
Dead or in the penitentiary,
But the streets raised me,
Since daddy abandoned me,
Cant get right with the honies,
Seems they act funny,
When ya wanna do right,
But its easier to wrong so see ya,
Im itching for a blazer,
Putting a taser, to ya mind
Like a cut from a razor,
Barber style, never did like to smile, problem child,
Eyes open like an owl,
Wolf instincts to a howl, its blood on the moon,
I feel leeches lurking from feels of the gloom,
Im crowded with goons,
Many demons in room,
Can't trust no one, only if im touching the tombs,
Free at last from the gunblast,
Now im getting carried by six,
Face blurred with the wooden mask,
I want to feel love
Like a hug that comforts
Not a drug that quells.

I've been taking lines of love,
the only form I know.
It doesn't penetrate, it just coats
My surfaces.
I'm so hidden, I can't even find myself
Under my approval-seeking mask.

Will the me who tries less
Receive more?
I can't know until I try
To stop trying,
And feel prized for who I am
at my raw material
Not what I do
at my most fearful.

My costume is adored,
Maybe my nakedness would be too,
Even more so in it's realness?
I risk losing my accumulated love stash
In exchange for a single drop of the real thing.

It's the difference between an endless supply of  painkillers numbing my broken feet,
Or putting faith in a cast that heals slow and sure and warm.
And then I may finally walk on my own.

Maybe I won't be so tired all the time,
Not expending all that effort to be worthy,
no belief that my inherint value exists in the sustainable landscape of being.
Maybe I'll finally have the energy
to rest peacefully
In the knowledge that I can be me
when I wake.

It's a leap of faith,
For someone who has grown comfortable
with a hopscotch recipe for success,
Fleeting but with a guaranteed buzz.

I don't want to be a tweeker any longer.
I want to sober up on the real thing.
The pure glass of water that is
genuine affection,
The bedrest of trust,
Puking out my instinct to please
And filling up on the notion that
I, by myself, am enough
For others.
And more importantly,
For me.
Delton Peele Feb 2022
The night was not odd...
It was still .....
And warm.....
There were rumours ...
Then again
When aren't they?
I walked briskly
Down the dark alley way
In the heart of the dragon
It smelled of strong whisky..........
And ******.  
A little risky..... ya......
Maybe ..........
Brave?...........idk
Foolish? ........
Definitely.
Some rules I could take.
This was a path I refused
Not to take!
The irony lies within the fact that I only took this journey after a good come-up ...
And carried a fat stack.....
Was I testing fate?
Or testing faith?
On these things........
I thought not .....
For I knew someone
Who didn't need me....
Depended on me......
And in truth ........
I loved him.......
An old janky  man in his
Mr goodwrench overalls fast asleep .....
On a Mac creeper ..
Under his jacked up chevelle.
Began to slowly roll
Towards the busy intersection below...
Like clockwork .
as I turnt the corner....
He was feet from disaster
Head first .....
I had to run faster
Than I thought I could go....
And dove
.......grasped his ankle.
My face cracked the pavement
Ill never forget it.  
Tires screeched .....
I lost consciousness ....
When I came to.....
The creeper mangled under a  car...
Which turned out had been stolen by a tweaker...
And the old blackman
I tried with my life to save.......
I still had a death grip on
One ankle...........
His body convulsing,
His eyes wide open .....
As if bewildered and fixed on me.....
Laughing hysterically .
Sitting on the sidewalk......
Saying ooooohwee bo
I thought fo shor
Yous gonna let me ta die...
Dammm you needs go to the gym or sumpin ..
Whoo....... I bouts  had a heart attack.........
I couldnt help but to cry...
I said you mean ....
You were awake?    
You "f"-n faker......
This is how we met ..
So many years ago....
I remember every detail...his response?
Unexpected.......yes ....
Brilliant ?
In the moment ...probably not....
Over time still dont know
But the impact.......
Epic .....immense.....
Absolutely  ...
Life changing.......
Maybe not for him ?
Maybe not to you ..
I guess it's a point of view
Zen puzzling piece of psyco-induced subliminal
Implanted military experimental type of thing .......
Maybe I was the Manchurian candidate and or Charles Bronson...
I had miles to go before I sleep.......... Yah?
No?
But maybe.......
Anyway he said ...
"Course I was awake ..
But I needed your attention.
And  bo........
you gonna do anything
THEN YOU GOTT TA
COMMIT ....! "
As he continued on ....
The words echoing off in my mind  ..
Drowned out his laughter
Sirens getting closer ....
The lumps of dividends
Bulging my pockets
Coming from some opportunistic origins.  
Gave me a genuine angst ...and the gangsta style side of me leant over gave him a firm brother shake
Looked him hard in the eyes .......
One nod .....
Said , cn you walk ?'
He said " course .I.
The rest.of his words faded quickly   something caught my periphery
The tweeker running from the sceen......
Leaving an overstuffed backpack.  I said good
pulled him up said
Wait !
but be ready !
As the cars caught fire
I was in the puddle  
Picked up the pack......
And .......barely....
It was heavy.....
The orange glow behind
Kicking my heels felt charming and the coral and peachy colors painted this experience with such a beautifully
Bizarre hue
It was simply an unexplainable feeling.
Well except the fire on my feet that had tossed upp to the heavy layden
Backpack.....
That was uncomfortable..

,



You could trace the
Par duex commin soon in a hue you will like too!

— The End —