My wonderful & Beautiful Grand Parents Jordan & Dorothy RIP                                              
Sometimes it's still feels like you are still with us.
Almost 11yrs since you both left us.
Although you are up there with the angels, your love, caring ways,
wisdom you instilled in all of us and the love you gave us still lingers deep in our hearts.                

All that you were, your smiles, your talks,
and loving words and how managed to put smiles on our faces
No matter how sad and blue we would be feeling,
Your encouragements about life, and your giving ways is what inspires me to be a better person.
Even though you are gone and I can stiill not accept that you are really gone,
Your souls and spirits watches over us.
You are truly missed.
All your grand children still misses u a lot.

All my love your big baby granddaughter Mimmie ***

There is a girl i sit behind in a class we are asked to hone our craft of writting, producing storys and tales but in my mind poetry stiill prevails, this girl has long light brown hair that flows like silk down her soft face jeweled by her big bright brown eyes that draw me in. She speaks from her heart and can captivate any reader she gives the glorious chance to glimps upon her work. Her words could move mountains with the weight of truth she uses. Still she does not see it, sadley she does not see the gold in her soul, the angelic like perfections that make up her face beauty is not worth the essence of what you trully are, for you make the stars envious with how u shine, your eyes so amazing they are like a rainbow a child sees in the sprinklers reflection to remind every man that deep down is a boy who still thinks the world is full of wonder you give me the same feeling as christmas and just like the grinch u made my heart grow three sizes bigger then nyone thought possible to the more astonishing part you ddnt just make me fall in love with you, you showed me i can love myself even with the times i grunted n growned as u made me look after my health a good nights sleep before you meant nothing, but now with you a dreamer has a reason to sleep hopeing i can see you even a second longer in my head as storys play like projector screens thinkin of the magic it would make me feel if i could only just kiss you, Your lips softly pressing against mine. The idea brings fireworks to my mental imagery, my body becomes lifted full of energy. Like the sky that was once dark and smogy is fresh again, i take a deep breath inhailing the clean air that clenses my heavy soul. I reach my hand over my cheast realizing the heart you stole. Thinkin its safer where it is cuz my hearts a wild animal and its wrong to keep it locked up behind the cage of bone being my ribs. Memories like monkey faces and tickle fights, curved with philosophy and a cold cola dwn my neck while you laugh enough to everyone stare but we diddnt care, whats highschool without silly memories, like asking bout my feet. Or convincing me to keep my dorky hair that never seems to lay flat in the back. Picking jokes at my baggy jeans, stealing sweaters but that part always made me smile thinking something of mine kept you warm, no matter if it was dark or a snow storm know im close to you. The thought of my arms around you, sometimes we might get pulled into dark thoughts, we are tested and pulled, sometimes you might think you have nothing but know you will always have me. I care so much i will never let you forget. Till the life leaves from body and i take my last breath. You are strong, you are smart, you are beautiful. THANK YOU, You made this grumpy man smile.

I start sensitive conversations with
passionate people so that they can
I can have a reason to release my
anger. They forget that I am well
studied on only topics that I've
interest in and they use emotion
to try to suade me. I am horrible
and stiill. I smile as they begin
to get worked up. I think I need help.

The wheatt grass girl was like
TheWee people, more spirit than
Woman; less sun than moon-
.  I would like to  catch her but
She would die.  It is better she
Is free and not mine to keep
It is a wane wine that I drink
That she may come near to
Take a sip.  I know she loves
The green tea more than me
But stiill I would like to know
Her better  like the Spring
Before she is gone forever.

I swore to myself once that i would never experience heartbreak again
because for me heartbreak is not heartbreak
and i can know i also had normal heartbreak
mine feels like the death of a family member times 10
it grew like that, circumenstances led to that
no im here, you said youd be there
together we were everday
moments we shared without having to say
how we felt or what we thought
cause we felt happy ad full in eachothers arms
no better place to be
i want to close my eyes sink away in you and see
all your beauty
it plays and softly tickles my heart
when i come up there are your soft lift to kiss
they taste delicious, i want more
but the lips are not enough
i rip your clothes of and you mine
without a thought you push it inside
you push it so hard, you dont want it out, as if t has to hide
as deep as possible, i want more i want harder
then slap my ***, skracht my face
im not even able to think anymore at this point
stuck in a haze
in this moment of exactasy to see you contiuninung on ******* me
makes only able to seehe explosion  inside of me
full of lights and tingles and body fluids and dirtyness
what a bless
after that you alway stood up threw me toiletrol
like "fix it yourself"
i mastrubated sometimes eve more, so my soul came loose from its core
shaking inside of my body
i gently cleaned your parts with the same toiletrol
you come sit next to me, and we dont need to say anything, we can but its also okay to just be
i lay my head on your chest and for the first time in my life i fell asleep like that
totally happy and satifies looking out to the next morning where we could eat, talk and laugh with eachother
we  really loved one another
did we ever talk about what our ideal life would be like?
maybe it would be totally different or maybe  unbelievably the same
we could have worked through that life day by day
insteadof getting frustrated and putting blame
we all want to be happy, every person on this earth
havent you hearth, i never knew your ideal life, you never knew mine
you decided to start ghosting
and hosting
other girls, i was just a step in the pass of the walk that is your life
for me you were helping me survive
when i met you, you were so different than anybody ive ever met
i snapped out of depression , i wanted to only have fun with you
and fun we had, in every stupid small room, just the two of us
dancing or letting my head bleed, stiill laughing, together we always would land on our feet
like a cat
and then our story becomes sad
it didnt 'happen', we ccreated it
me and also you
there are things we did not do
and should have
and things we did
that we shouldnt
we alsno never talked about what annoyed us about the other
we never really commincated, god i wish you knew that 5 minutes can make
10 years of difference, maybe even more
its so important
its the core of every relationship
we were attached to the hip
knitting it off hurted, then you ran away laughing and free like i was causing you troble and bad luck
meanwhile you should have been gratefull that i love to **** your ****
also to lick it slowly and then hard
and thats how life goes, moments of peace, moments where everyone is happy and all is good
then something happen, the world shakes harder and harder, do you leave this world, is it the faut of the person your with
or do you stay and face the end, and see the beautiful expolosion
in motion
after that again there is serenity, life  cant alway be a simple walk, its hard
especialy relationships, its why i wish i would have been a better girlfriend
i wish i could have openen up more to love
cause in the realationship i already protect myself for the hurt
which came anyway when you decided to leave
we spoke we said slowly
but you ran, and never showed your face again
what was i supposed to do on four legs stiches in my hip, my best friend and lover gone
i was all alone
firtst thought was dying
but that seemed a bit much
there is nothing i can do than heal, unless you come back than i can show you more happiness than before
1000000000 x more i will be a better girfliend and be there for you
uluc
dont leave me, think about it
i genuinly love you, it is rare in this time to find
we would be blind not to try and give eachother a kiss
and a hug
i should tell more about my  inner world and make less sarcastic jokes
you should communicate more, about what to you is an eye sore
for example ***** plates
and i should clean more, be a bit more mowan for you, i can do that
and you should communcate how you feel, dont break up cause you want to **** someone else
we can always discuss that
only go when you are sure you dont love me anymore
im not sure about that so therefore
i am still here
say the words and im gone
but we could with a little effort make life 100000000 x better
and be actually happ with eachother
i want to come home in te evening lay agains you and smell your heavy smell
i want you to be happy i want to see that uluc smile, i  always did
i always cared wanted , you well
or should i have been a huge *****
would that have kept you longer
i dont care cause to me its stronger
the most strongest actually
its almost my religion
to be yourself always and anytime
**** what others think, if you can be yourself
you can be free
thats all i want to be, free, its who i am its me
excpt from you you can join in and belong
You can come home my tone come sing my song
It must get way more beautiful together than alone
And with practice we can get it  perfectly synchronized
I love you always
I want you in my life
I can forgive and forget
I hope you also can, cause ****, I acted like a crazy *****
But I am not you know this, ask anyone they know this
Almost opposite, I just was so shocked
And I hate loss, I didn't know how to survive without you next to me
When I wake up it is you I want to see or an empty spot you just charged up

I swore to myself once that i would never experience heartbreak again
because for me heartbreak is not heartbreak
and i can know i also had normal heartbreak
mine feels like the death of a family member times 10
it grew like that, circumenstances led to that
no im here, you said youd be there
together we were everday
moments we shared without having to say
how we felt or what we thought
cause we felt happy ad full in eachothers arms
no better place to be
i want to close my eyes sink away in you and see
all your beauty
it plays and softly tickles my heart
when i come up there are your soft lift to kiss
they taste delicious, i want more
but the lips are not enough
i rip your clothes of and you mine
without a thought you push it inside
you push it so hard, you dont want it out, as if t has to hide
as deep as possible, i want more i want harder
then slap my ***, skracht my face
im not even able to think anymore at this point
stuck in a haze
in this moment of exactasy to see you contiuninung on ******* me
makes only able to seehe explosion  inside of me
full of lights and tingles and body fluids and dirtyness
what a bless
after that you alway stood up threw me toiletrol
like "fix it yourself"
i mastrubated sometimes eve more, so my soul came loose from its core
shaking inside of my body
i gently cleaned your parts with the same toiletrol
you come sit next to me, and we dont need to say anything, we can but its also okay to just be
i lay my head on your chest and for the first time in my life i fell asleep like that
totally happy and satifies looking out to the next morning where we could eat, talk and laugh with eachother
we  really loved one another
did we ever talk about what our ideal life would be like?
maybe it would be totally different or maybe  unbelievably the same
we could have worked through that life day by day
insteadof getting frustrated and putting blame
we all want to be happy, every person on this earth
havent you hearth, i never knew your ideal life, you never knew mine
you decided to start ghosting
and hosting
other girls, i was just a step in the pass of the walk that is your life
for me you were helping me survive
when i met you, you were so different than anybody ive ever met
i snapped out of depression , i wanted to only have fun with you
and fun we had, in every stupid small room, just the two of us
dancing or letting my head bleed, stiill laughing, together we always would land on our feet
like a cat
and then our story becomes sad
it didnt 'happen', we ccreated it
me and also you
there are things we did not do
and should have
and things we did
that we shouldnt
we alsno never talked about what annoyed us about the other
we never really commincated, god i wish you knew that 5 minutes can make
10 years of difference, maybe even more
its so important
its the core of every relationship
we were attached to the hip
knitting it off hurted, then you ran away laughing and free like i was causing you troble and bad luck
meanwhile you should have been gratefull that i love to **** your ****
also to lick it slowly and then hard
and thats how life goes, moments of peace, moments where everyone is happy and all is good
then something happen, the world shakes harder and harder, do you leave this world, is it the faut of the person your with
or do you stay and face the end, and see the beautiful expolosion
in motion
after that again there is serenity, life  cant alway be a simple walk, its hard
especialy relationships, its why i wish i would have been a better girlfriend
i wish i could have openen up more to love
cause in the realationship i already protect myself for the hurt
which came anyway when you decided to leave
we spoke we said slowly
but you ran, and never showed your face again
what was i supposed to do on four legs stiches in my hip, my best friend and lover gone
i was all alone
firtst thought was dying
but that seemed a bit much
there is nothing i can do than heal, unless you come back than i can show you more happiness than before
1000000000 x more i will be a better girfliend and be there for you
uluc
dont leave me, think about it
i genuinly love you, it is rare in this time to find
we would be blind not to try and give eachother a kiss
and a hug
i should tell more about my  inner world and make less sarcastic jokes
you should communicate more, about what to you is an eye sore
for example ***** plates
and i should clean more, be a bit more mowan for you, i can do that
and you should communcate how you feel, dont break up cause you want to **** someone else
we can always discuss that
only go when you are sure you dont love me anymore
im not sure about that so therefore
i am still here
say the words and im gone
but we could with a little effort make life 100000000 x better
and be actually happ with eachother
i want to come home in te evening lay agains you and smell your heavy smell
i want you to be happy i want to see that uluc smile, i  always did
i always cared wanted , you well
or should i have been a huge *****
would that have kept you longer
i dont care cause to me its stronger
the most strongest actually
its almost my religion
to be yourself always and anytime
**** what others think, if you can be yourself
you can be free
thats all i want to be, free, its who i am its me
excpt from you you can join in and belong
you can come humm my tone come sing my song
it must get way more beautiful togeter than alone
and with practice we can get it  perfectly synchronized
i love you uluc
i want you in my life
i can forgive and forget
i hope you also can, cause **** i acted like a crazy *****
but i am not you know this, ask anyone they know this
almost opposite, i just was soshocked
and i hate loss, i didnt know how to survive without you next to me
when i wake up it is you i want to see or an empty spot you just charged up