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I thought it right to assess some antidepressants, which philosophers are more inclined to call mood enhancers.
This was during my foray into human enhancement, substances intended to enhance physicality, cognition or mood. Nootropic compounds concern the latter two categories.

The most commonly prescribed mood enhancers are serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SRIs), but it takes over a week for these compounds reach their peak effect.
Thus I approached them with the notion that a limited dosage might point to their character, though  not reveal. These considerations in mind, I set about acquiring a few miscellaneous anti-D's.

Fluoxetine was the first successful selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitor (SSRI), better known by its original brand-name Prozac. Fluoxetine has an acute biological half-life of between 1-3 days. Presence of a trifluoromethyl group on the compound deserves note, I wonder what the presence of electronegative fluorine atoms add to the psychoactive flavor of a compound (subjective effects).
I administered a single dose by mouth, there was some indication of subjective character. Light serotonergic sensations and seemingly benign mood-dampening, there is a ****** towards the positive. Waking headspace relatively uninteresting. Observed hints of oneirogenesis, did not manifest in enough character to be detailed - a sort of vivid, 'pulsive wandering, more pronounced in contrast to its waking character.
Good experiment, interesting results.
Ligand     Ki (nM)   Ki (nM)
Target      Flx            Nflx
SERT        1               19
NET         660           2700
DAT         4180         420
5-HT2A   200           300
5-HT2B    5000         5100
5-HT2C    72.6          91.2
α1             3000         3900
M1            870           1200
M2            2700         4600
M3            1000         760
M4            2900         2600
M5            2700         2200
H1            3250         10000

Sertraline is another popular SSRI, also known by it's original brand-name Zoloft. Sertraline has a variable half-life, on average 26 hours.
It's metabolite, desmethylsertraline, has a half life between 62-104 hours but is a far less potent Serotonin Releasing Agent (SRA).
The presence of two chlorine atoms is interesting. The usual, phenomenal serotonergicity is present and pushing towards the positive.
Some nausea, particularly when hungry (this disappeared after some minestrone soup). Some faintness after physical exertion. This dose did not promote onirogenesis. There was a moment of cognitive distortion when the proportions of a focal object seemed to be growing in-and-out, shifting in size.
Site                 Ki (nM)
SERT              0.15–3.3
NET               420–925
DAT               22–315
5-HT1A       >35,000
5-HT2A          2,207
5-HT2C          2,298
α1A        ­        1900
α1B                 3,500
α1D                 2,500
α2                  477–4,100
D2                  10,700
H1                  24,000
mACh           427–2,100
σ1                   32–57
σ2                   5,297

Escitalopram is an SSRI commonly prescribed for major depression and generalised anxiety. It is the (S)-stereoisomer of citalopram. The biological half-life is of escitalopram is between 27-32 hours.
I administered a dose and thought the phenomenal serotonergicity less apparent than fluoxetine but then gastro-intestinal disturbance was noted, I surmised it has a high affinity for 5-HT2C.
Any oneiric qualities were not readily apparent after a single dose, relatively little visual imagery which is understandable given its lack of affinity for 5-HT2A. I found this to be philosophically interesting. Mood elevation observed in bursts of conversation and as odd sensations, possible mental discomfort.
Ligand,
Recptr     Ki (nM)
SERT       2.5
NET        6,514
5-HT2C   2,531
α1            3,870
M1           1,242
H1           1,973

Venlafaxine is a selective serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor (SNRI). Venlafaxine and its metabolites are active for about 11 hours.
Initial subjective effects similar to a very light empathogenic stimulant. Perception of altered attention-span/increased reflexive response; energizing yet paradoxically much yawning.
Ligand,  Vnfx      Dvnfx
Recptr    Ki(nM)  Ki(nM)
SERT  ­    82           40.2
NET       2480        558.4

Tianeptine is a tricyclic antidepressant (TCA) with an unusual mechanism of action. It is an atypical agonist of the μ-opioid receptor and has been described as a (selective) serotonin reuptake enhancer (SRE). It has a short duration as sodium salts [prescribed form] of between 2-4 hours but as sulfate this can be notably extended, some of its metabolites are active for longer than tianeptine itself.
Definitely anxiolytic, quite artificial; possible aphrodisiac. I find its opioid activity dissuading, requires caution.
Site          Ki (nM)
MOR       383–768 (Ki)
                 194 (EC50)
DOR      >10,000 (Ki)
                 37,400 (EC50)
KOR      >10,000 (Ki)
                 100,000 (EC50)
All other transporter/receptor/sub-receptor values are >10,000 (Ki).

Bupropion is a norepinephrine-dopamine reuptake inhibitor (NDRI) with affinity for some nicotinic receptors. Bupropion and its metabolites are active for between 12-36 hours. Interestingly it is a substituted cathinone.
Initial subjective effects similar to a fairly light stimulant. Perception of increased attention-span and improved cognition. It is an onirogen that is neutral in quality, enhancing vivid dreaming (a boon of its nicotinic affinity which is counteracted if the stimulant component impinges on sleep). Completely absent of serotonergicity, curious.
The N-tert-butyl group's effect is most interesting, how it affects metabolism and to what extent ROAs alter pharmacokinetics.
I took 150mg ******, as extended and as instant release (the latter was more pronounced). I thought an altered pharmakinetic profile might result from bypass of hepatic metabolism, so I tried 25mg insufflated and felt as if there was effect that it differed slightly from oral ROAs, but also worried that its metabolic fate is thence unknown (compare to the neurotoxic 3-CMC). What of other bupropiologues,
for example, 3-Methyl-N-tert-butyl-methcathinone? Indeed.
                        Bupropion    R,R-Hydroxybuprpn   Threo-hydrobuprpn
AUC               1                     23.8                                  11.2
Half-life         11 h                 19 h                                 31 h
IC50 (μM)
DAT               0.66                  inactive                          47 (rat)
NET               1.85                   9.9                                  16 (rat)
SERT              inactive          inactive               ­            67 (rat)
α3β4 nic         1.8                   6.5                                   14 (rat)
α4β2 nic         12                     31                                   no data
α1β1γδ nic     7.9                    7.6                                  no data

Moclobemide is a reversible inhibitor of monoamine oxidase A (RIMA), its monoamine oxidase inhibition lasts about 8–10 hours and wears off completely by 24 hours. Inhibiting the decomposition of monoamines (e.g. serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine) increases their accumulation at an extracellular level. It tends to suppress REM sleep and so it lacks oneirogenic properties.
Feeling of well-being, less constrained by the usual anxieties; openness. Relatively unnoticeable side-effects when diet is carefully managed. Made the mistake of eating a cheese and turkey sandwich (i.e. foodstuff rich in tryptophan/tyramine), indications of serotonergicity later became apparent: feelings of overheating and flushing, slight sweating, racing thoughts and anxious discomfort. A stark reminder of Shulgin's old adage: "there is no casual experiment".
Combination with a select few tryptamines (not 5-MeO-xxT) should be safe, and synergistic (perfect for pharmahuasca); reputed to potentiate GHB. However, generally it is extremely dangerous to combine with serotonergic drugs.
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2016
ona mruga oczyma jak sra, czy jak szczy?
  (concerning one of my cats in the garden
                  easing the ****, or bladder,
whichever - imagine saying it's a baby
when it's should be said: retract that idea of
nappies and breastfeeding, watch Prometheus -
girl quick on the mark, alien tadpoles ahoy!);
you'd love to see the rainbow of curses
i littered the ground around me -
      all because i overslept my doctor's appointment
over the phone -
                 hell knows no womanly furies,
it's kitted out with them as standard -
                 mind you, it's about time to encounter
if not simply invite Dr. Zhivago to cool
things down -
                          such trivialities as only a woman
might know to be the basis of infuriated assault -
and about a thumb's length of whiskey
on an empty stomach, and three coffees...
              ****'s buzzing...
after vacuuming the house i make my oaths:
yes, the 21st century Homeric heroes to mind,
our modern heroes: heroism equivalent of
paying the gas bill -
                               entertainment value? zilch:
unless you're bound to be watching Odysseus
take the longest yawn spanning into the 22nd century.
no... i didn't have a rich father, but
they managed ******* into my mouth anyway,
no wonder all i get to say is: it stinks -
           alter?
                   *nasrali mi do gęby,
nic dziwnego że mówie: smród!
                                                    smród!­
nie jeden balas w szambie tym samym
    demokratycznym słowem powie: smród
                     i rozkaz męczybuły nad głos!
a tu jakiś Kossak pięścią... sto razy wdepte
ci dekalog: dwór! dwór! nie pałacyk...
                        buda! buda, psie marnego skinienia
                            w aport! hujnia i homonto!
              oraj pole... jebana mać oraj złote włókno
            by przestał głód pytać o gram
                                                        sytu­! oraj!

             beauty of out a loss in temperament,
no cocktail party for miles...
                                 if you look closely you can
spot a Belgian field of poppies;
god the English malaise of attempting to curse...
           the easiest curse in English is identified
as courtesy - sorry means as much as *******.
Mateuš Conrad Jan 2017
i don't know, maybe my writing has overtones
of begun conversatioin, never finished...
or maybe conversation is all my writing ever
invokes...
              it's almost as if want to talk...
but never muster enough will for it to take place...
   i could reread Kant's transcendental methodolgy
over and over again,
       i don't know, maybe because i'm european?
and i feel no allegiance toward feeling bereft
in dealing with a colonial past?
         european-centralism is nothing western...
it's not even muskovite, so what the hell is it?!
           when i read kraszewski is didn't beg for
Dickens....
              England was a marr bruise, 1 thousand
miles off from Reykjavík...
a lost cause...
                    dead in the artcic, alongside the scutter
of: the tales of the beheading monk...
          should he ever arise: and make Diana
the patron saint: as is her due...
             whenever i spent three weeks
starved from the medium of defeat,
                                 i did read Kraszewski as antidote toward
the fluke that's: paweł jasienica & sienkiewicz...
                    if ever poszukiwana, poszukiwany, (1973),
czy tem myś, czy tem: **** misja!
riplej! riplej! oh! nie dadzy ripleja!
   o **** to pytać: kurwe z amsterdamu.
ty? ty to huja dawny o zzadźwi zakonice w chomoncie
     nabić krojem: w babylonskie obietnice...
   szomota kryju skarg...
and this the end-trip of polish culture,
and me scold, that rubric of a wish to forget china-town!
you just savor that phrase: designed in California...
manufactured in Beijing!
         Mao-Tse chung-fowl kung-fu chop!
hrabia Ezzex...
                            fat-ma-gil turkczynka wiodle:
chóra! brak Arraba! tak, ten spustoszały
                        zagwizd smroden pełny, czworakim,
  obgadany w kodym: Lałrancja blondaßa!
                 anglischen: murgrabiaschen bach!
                          obejmać: wielbłąda, też mu pisano!
cycor wydajny... pierś też nie brak!
   cycek to też twój idol... ziarno maku zjem...
piasku: wpluje ci w oko i powiem: pieprz!
  sfędzi? czyli: trafiony: zatopiony... u-zbek u-bjojten.
jak tylko mu to Bóg zapisze...
tak zaklęty pismem: jak i czołem wyryty!
w swej mądrej czuwości! w bidzie będzie cytaty wtedy...
   czoło jego wyryć da kilo czerni wydobytej:
bo bendzie mógł mówić: szmacznie: stolec kwit!
i to straty: tak naprawde pragne.
                   at tu sra, sra sra: wielbłądzą flegmą:
by tej nie-wyparzonej gębie nadać nowy czyn
takiej to samej orgii pewności, jak zza wieku począt 2, 1.
                    to ja też go: o pardom: krawatem i
kajtanem obuznajm spytam... i co on mnie wtedy
nie powi! o jo jo jo joj! asz: sie boje.... boże boże:
   daj mi tchu: by w tą arabską morde
   na pluć co zwe: żyć z tobą nie łatwo...
  ale trza...
   pokajrze mordzine my bratku...
                                     daj! wszyje ci uśmiech
                poza granice policzek! tak na zbyt,
tak na gwarancje...
                               bo może i zapomne,
co kiedyś na mej, twarzy, nadać słowo zakwitu:
                       słać raz jeszcsze, szęst; czuwam więc, onajmić szeście
tym statkiem: to konieczne, spartańskie: wzbudzenie,
                    o to zór wojenny! nawet ten
ostatni angol... będzie pierdolił mi smutki
                       o swym: wzbogaceniu na wichurach
              zdobycia: koron i grzbietów pochyłych
w skraj kolonii... opłoczynnach: morgrabia szczoch...
teraz raptem: revolt... ha ha...
niby marionetka i światem poczytna znaleźli sie:
                           niewiasta narodzin absurdalnych wiar!
   no kurwa! w bieli syta! ja cie kręce!
    takich to wymówek to mi naprawde, za mało!
Lay next to me
Don’t say a word
Touch me everywhere
Everywhere but there

I want to know you
Let me peer into your soul
Don’t ask me about myself
Anything but that

Let me share my life
With you, with my work
With my cat, and my friends
Sometimes and on weekends
Can’t I have it all?
Leydis Jun 2017
MEA CULPA
“se lo entregue en bandeja de plata”

Mea Culpa,
se lo entregue en bandeja de plata.

Mea Culpa,
le conté todas mis penas y ella atentamente escuchaba.
Yo tan inocente, la consideraba buena amiga.

Mea Culpa,
no sabía que estaba enamorada, de mí y de él.
La veía tan preocupada por mi sufrimiento
y
los consejos que me daba, yo cumplidamente los acataba,
pues creía en su sinceridad,
creía que por mi ella estaba preocupada.

Mea Culpa,
no vi como ella se burlaba.
no entendí sus motivos,
la traición que se asomaba.

Mea Culpa,
ella me aconsejaba que lo dejara,
que no permitiera que me engañara,
que no le diera más importancia a él que a mí misma.
Yo entendía la sabiduría en sus palabras,
y comencé a reclamarle a él sus salidas,
porque que vestía como vestía,
sus amistades,
como me besaba,
como me miraba,
como me amaba.
como respiraba,
Él me decía, que todo eran imaginaciones mías,
que no condenara nuestro amor a esa agonía,
que no permitiera otras fuerzas dictaran nuestro amor a vivir en sosiego.
Que él a mí me amaba.

Pero poco a poco, los reclamos a él lo silenciaban.
En cada uno de esos reclamos,él de mí se alejaba.
Lo acuse hasta que no quedo más nada,
solo una cama vacía,
un amor guindando en el precipicio de Sheol,
en el sepulcro de la desolación,
de la confusión,
allí quedó penando nuestro amor.

Mea Culpa,
creí que la Señora Duda era mi amiga.
Le creí todas sus mentiras.
No entendí que es una amiga celosa, manipuladora, envidiosa.
Que me queria solo para ella, como su leal acompañante en su eterna soledad.

Mea Culpa.
Perdí el amor de mi vida,
mi sol, el aire que me sostenía,
cuando invite a esa maldita traicionera,
a esa maldita calumniadora,
la maldita Sra. Duda a mi vida,
y ciegamente acepte su invitación a un ménage á trois
……………. que sola me dejaría!

Mea Culpa!

LeydisProse
6/11/2017
https://m.facebook.com/LeydisProse/
Bard Jun 2020
Cook our intelligence
Look at the belligerent
Hate filled hornet nest
Continent of ****** pest
Fumigation of the U S

litigation red tape
when a sticky red fate
gets caught on tape
Oppression communicate
When killers walk out gratis

CIA, FBI, NBC, All of them be
Lying to me, cause the tv told me
this was the nation of the free

**** that we are a nation of slaves
Haven't evolved since yesterdays
Declaration freedom from tyrants
Then drove the natives to tears
Never equal when they see ants

Regicide of a king who had a dream
Martyr the leaders to slow the steam
Now the nation burns its mainstream

ACAB, SRA, BLM, All of them be
Talking to me, cause life told me
That freedom it ain't really free

Data stream use instant transmission
Every one, one team with one mission
Can silence a king how about a nation
All chasing the dream of compassion
Fighting mace and tears with passion

While our president hides in his residence
Plotting with pence on building a fence
And Biden forgets he was the antecedent
Passed in 1997 military gear to the precinct
Two party election, its insanity or compliance

That trump boy works with Geppetto
Puppet and toy to masters he echos
Funny money, president to get dough
String pullers they really made a show
Now the polls they swinging so low

But Biden's another flunky
Dancin to the biddin of ******
Oligarch kings of the country
Sayin dance you ****** donkey
**** the country till it walks funny

Scared of the protest they cant contest
Plants in the crowd to **** interest
Cant fold wont be fooled by insects
Declare a war on our country's best
Commit war crimes in blue vests

I don't know where our future will go
But if we keep movin and never slow
Where we're goin is better than now
Yesterdays wounds will heal I know
This nightmare could end tomorrow

Maybe this was never the land of the free
But it could be if we wanted it to be
If we plant the seed nurture it and see
Keep it safe from greed's insanity
Nurture it with bodies of the bourgeois
this heat is unbearable: there's no ice in
this night,
said the king of hollow:
and hallow replied: i see you:
clearly:
as the days of future Us allow you
to see me
but you are so captivated in
the orchestra of poet
that's the flutes of persona:

no... i am not a useless drunk:
deranged project of a missing
mother or a no-father...

i will go ahead...
show you
myself
before you stop being stupid
and loving me
how i sprain how i strain
how i flog you living
i didn't hurt your feelings
i didn't hurt your feelings
i didn't hurt your feelings
i just gave you negative emotions
to digest:
to experience:
i just gave you the bad apple: Eve...
i admit...
i am jealous:
i ate: the apple first:
i'm looking at your eating the good apple
of Augustus
while giving you the maggoty fruit
of Autumn and October...
what apple?
did i give you, dearest woman:
my Chaos in Order of One
in that's Woman:

i also want to write about the taming
business:
i want to be head of the household:
Prasutagus...
i want you to be my antithesis Lady Macbeth:
i want you to be my
Boudica...
Veltic: Celts: C / S belts...

         i am the sober drunk king!
i am the sober drunk king!
i am night!
eyes!
ice!
i am the sober drunk king!

saying goodbye to London
with Quarus:
but i did want to take Veronica Veroniya
to Paris...
for a photo-shoot:

even pets have human dreams:
to escape the ape
and embrace the grotesque god
found in Auschwitz...
for a second there i misspelled ms. pelled:
Giza: replacing it with Auschwitz:
nothing personal:
just biblibal...
just BIBIBLAL:
not allah...

although i wanted to recreate painting
via
piano into writing: from writing
via piano
into the realm of painting...

thought as unit
of memory,
of idea
of grammar
i think
you think
we think
our thinking
unit

she will not find me elswhere
beside the silence of philosophers
and there: i decide:

not a thousand year *****:
not...
a thousand year: war!
it must begin in the realm
of contemplating English history
and the 100 year war...

KEIN TAUSEND JAHR *****:
das der tausendjährige Krieg:
i wan't no struggle... man...
you will go silently into the grave:
democratically...
and with the help of A.i. i will slow
you down to your demise...
i want a war worth a thousand years
i want:
in that respect: a new religion, no?

ah dasha: ilya: hashem: nikita:
such... transgender names:
don't you think?
pronouns are grammar and grammar
is algebra:
that's also abstract: Aztec: Moor: moo!
moon: luminaries from the Baptism
Fountain that's the Vatican:

boys with girl names...
at least in Russia
boys have girls' names
but manage to sock
their feet and put it into shoe
*** shoe *** shoe?
at least the boys
didn't waste their time on
dogma:
propaganda:
but discovered Siberia
and Iberia...
                         Honey Gone Solo
Zalez...!

            mein kampf        contra
ich kampf:

in need of surgical tools:
the born and bred:
British Excalibur...
sorry?
a- indefinite article
+-the=+         definite article...

           but there's so much humbling to begin with:
i don't think you understand belief:
there's no belief anymore:
people are lost the concept of belief:
they have adopted a construct of: being humbled...

be a leaf... became::
be -ing hum: mmmmmmmmm: bled: dried:
not humbled:
i will Islam to convene after me:
bee:
i ask the surah: i don't ask Muhammad!
GDo spoke|:
j ensured
vowels remain leftovers....

i want a thousand year war....
not a thousand yawn of state....
i want a state of being
not a being of count
i will not count...

                   i want a war that
transcends states:
i wish as much USA as IRAQ
but then RUSSIZ>Ń
got involved:
pre to hey
presto: a Nero-Hey-Zeus!
ale to brat brata charata!
ty tycz: swoj czyn:
ja pierw: ty: o godzine: potym!
sra!         albo nie sra!

— The End —