monsters exist
but only in my head
smetimes they appear in my dreams
but the scenes last only a split second

i've been drinking too much caffeine
and driving myself a little insane;
i've been listening to sad records and wishing in vain,

and i've been trying, trying, trying
but all i've done is cry
and i've been doing my best fixing up holes in my soul
but still my passions leak - out they go and disappear

it's been a strange year

Rilke said you go through important changes while you're sad
i hope so, i hope he's right
because i've been sad for a long time
and i'm starting to think this isn't worth it

if someone loves me, won't they tell me?
won't you tell me before i shut off completely?

Every once in a while
Tears slip
Sometimes small and quick
Other times full and flooding
The longer they're held in
The harder they fall

Every once in a while
Words are screamed
Smetimes meaningless
Other times full of rage
They longer they're held in
The louder they are

Every once in a while
You fight back
Sometimes never touching
Other times you destroy everything
The longer it's held in
The tougher they strike