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Lana Grace Apr 2014
Everything about you, even your initials, are perfect.
It's kind of crazy how God chose us to grow up together.
Our childhood was perfect, we never were really grateful for it.

I'll re visit the places we use to go,
And the memories come flooding back.
Each one like a sweet soft dagger,
Sinking into the depths of my heart.

If there was one person I'd think would always stay here,
It would be you.
But now you're gone too.
They doubt love when you're young.
But I know without a doubt, I spent my whole life loving you.

So how am I supposed suppose to fly, r?
I always thought we'd fly together.
But your absence has stripped me of my wings.
I am unable to soar.

I use to believe in a thing called love,
Something between a woman and man.
But why risk love,
If it just hurts you in the end?

So I'll try to be positive.
Try to fly just for you.

But please know that I'm praying for you.
And if one day we make it,
If we one day say, "I do".
I'll try to soar extra high, and fly just for you.
I miss you so much.
Lana Grace Aug 2016
rjr
r,
it's been a while since i've written. i guess i thought that if i didn't write, didn't talk, or even thought, you would finally leave. you still haunt me. it's been three years, and i still claim that i see you on the roads-the roads i know you're not on. it's been three years and i still imagine any day is the one-the one you call me up and just want to talk.
to make matters worse, i fell in love. we've been dating, and it's year one. i fell in love, but i didn't. it's so confusing i know.
i fell in love with him in my mind. he's perfect, r. to everyone but me, it seems like he's the one. he loves me so much, it's unimaginable. he's safe-he will always provide for me. he would do anything for me, he has no flaw.

but he's not you.

i fell in love with you with my heart a long time ago, and it seems like you still have not returned it. i pray to my God day in and day out that you would show up, that He would show me a sign. i would love to let go. i want you to be gone. how can someone not be present, but still always appear?

i'm sorry this letter is the worst one any soul has ever written. i'm sad. i'm tired. i'm done. i can't even form beautiful words to bear my heavy heart.

just know that as always, i am carrying on. i am writing, i am praying, i am crying, i am singing, i am trusting. and r, i am living. i've been choosing every day to be joyous. i've been trusting that one day this will all get figured out.

let me tell you a little secret though:
i still want to believe that you are the one.
hear my heart.

— The End —