"pooing" poems
What can you do with a naughty cat
When she’s lying on your bed?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When she’s sleeping on your head?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When she’s always up to no good?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When she loves digging in the mud.
What do you do with a naughty cat
When she loves to jump and fight?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When her top trump is to give you a fright?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When in corners she will creep?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When she won’t stop hunting your feet?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When she’s pooing in the bath?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When all you can do is laugh? (Don’t)
What can you do with a naughty cat
When she covers your phone with drool?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When she’s taking you for a fool.
What can you do with a naughty cat
When she keeps stealing your lunch?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When all she really wants is a munch?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When she’s fighting with your pen?
What can you do with a naughty cat
When she just won’t get off again
Oh I give up
Mar 11, 2013
Mar 11, 2013 at 3:29 PM UTC
A lady whose heart as big as her boils
as ugly as rust, yet kindly through toils
for troubled she was and poor as a pitcher
her purse full of holes, but loving stuck with her.
And having this love with nowhere to store it –
her house filled with cats, the neighbors abhorred it.
For all through the day was scratching and crying
If they hadn't known better, they'd think she was dying.
Her house overflowing and no food to eat;
she cared for her cats like they care for heat.
And one day the folk came at her door wrapping
but she couldn't answer, for she was still crapping.
The folk weren't new; they'd been here before;
she'd leave them long often to wait at the door.
But now with no answer, the cats left to mewing;
the lady left helpless while she was still pooing.
The folk grew impatient and broke down the door;
the smell was of rodent mixed with cheap *****
And all through their nostrils, the folk kept on smelling:
mold, cabbage and ***** then faintly a yelling.
The noise sounded desperate – a cat may be sick!
so holding their noses they trudged through the thick.
The yelling grew louder till the back of the house,
Lady needed some t.p. – instead used her blouse.
Feb 22, 2012
Feb 22, 2012 at 1:48 PM UTC
I hate the cold, I hate the snow
I hate these lights that flash and glow,
I hate mince pies they taste to sweet.
I hate the fact i gain the weight as
There is to much to eat.
I hate to diet I like the way I am.
I hate carollers that cant even sing,
I hate the thought of happiness and joy.
I hate the fact that 50,s films are played
On Tv is it me or do they just bore.
I hate that i have no chimney.
I hate the reindeer pooing on my welcome
Mat, doesn,t santa know how to clear up
His mess instead of me.
I hate the season but the cold one the
Most I hate that Christmas isnt in the
Summer when I tan and enjoy it the most.
I hate lots of things its clear to see,
But i do love my presents that santa leaves
Wrapped under my Christmas tree.
Jul 15, 2015
Jul 15, 2015 at 5:58 AM UTC
I need a hand dude
Do you boo
Boo his go away
You see you need to get a life
Stop fighting with your wife
But overall you need to have fun
You need a hand dude
Do you boo
Everyone thinks I am cool
I break no rule
You seem to have a lot of fun
Yes kicking people up the ***
I need a hand dude
Don’t you boo
I could be saying don’t chew
Because I used to chew my shirt
I took a while to stop pooing my pants
But I am cool I break no rule
I need a hand dude
I break no rule
Do you boo
Boo his you are dumb
You see everyone likes us
We have fun
You need a hand dude
Do you boo
God exists any old how
Even if you feel he doesn’t
It is just religion mate
A very touchy subject
So do you need a hand
To go out with your mate
Hey how’s it going
Duuuuuuuude
Don’t be rude
Be nice have fun
Don’t say you are a lost cause
Just have fun
Oh yeah bow bow kick up the ***
You see this time next year
I would like to lose my boring me
And look like I am having fun
Doing what I wanna do
Because I lost 80 kg
And I got my hand dude
I am not rude
I could be sometimes in the ****
I definitely need a big hand dude
No more being rude
No more being called boo
None of this your like me and mummy crap
You see that makes me feel
Like a very big sap
My name isn’t boo
I am not the angry chant
When something goes wrong
I try not to pong
I need a hand dude
No more boo
No more being rude
No more being in the ****
Yes I feel cool
This time next year
I want to lose my boring me
And look exciting
Sep 9, 2019
Sep 9, 2019 at 8:05 AM UTC
Imodium, imodium,
Such a wonderful drug
If my arsehole's a drain,
Then imodium's the plug
Rusty radiator water,
Pouring from my behind,
It splashes so high,
I risk going blind,
But Imodium to my rescue,
Fixing me up in a jiffy,
Back to when pooing,
Merely gave me a ******
Oct 29, 2014
Oct 29, 2014 at 12:35 PM UTC
You see I wanted to be a young dude and sit on my chair with my little mouth half open
You see I can vision people saying I hate life and they call me bud I hate that
The hooligans are trying to reach my body and they are trying to make little
But it is the medication
Cause I am not living in the past
I don't want to be turned off
I don't care if it makes me a hooligan I am a family person
Who loves life a lot
But the big fat body needs to offload the stress on his body
So I try and bring back my little young dude
It isn't really want I want
But I understand that you would
Want to protect me
I understand that you are tying to stop me pooing my pants
Or peeing my pants
And I don't care if I have to wait
For my next life to finally learn
But I am going to the toilet
But I don't want to drink wee
I don't want to get teased
By people who used to like me
But now hate me because they can't get their faces out of my past
You see I used to like pat more than Lyle
And I was and am a nice person
Who loves life
People say I sound gay
But I am not gay
I am as straight as a knife
A knife I tells ya
You see I don't want to get killed by psychos who are having problems
I understand why you need to protect me by making me a little young dude
Hey dude don't take a long road
And makes you suffer more than anyone else
You see I can live forever like a Buddhist
I am not a little yeah Nate yeah kid
I am a Buddhist
I know all I can about Buddhism
To believe that it is true you come back and that is the truth
You see people std trying to bring my little shy kid back
But I have killed him off out of my body
You see the only thing that
Is going to bring my fucken shy kid back is people who want to protect me like I partied in nite clubs
I danced to bands in clubs
I went away with people in sports
I walked up mountains
In shoes and thongs too
I have voices of people trying to
Bring back my shy kid because
They are scared of what will happen to me if they found out it was me is that him, mate
I have been everywhere man
I have been Gold Coast south coast Adelaide Melbourne Hobart Newcastle Kosciusko
Tumut Sydney Hervey Bay
And broken hill travelling on the Indian pacific and off to kangaroo island great ocean road and Grampians
I have been to Dubbo zoo Dubbo gaol Merimbula where I partied on New Year's Eve
And the people thought I was cool yeah I partied at uni of Canberra and Ainslie and southern cross club
But the medication is stopping me in my tracks dude
I have been everywhere
Sep 20, 2016
Sep 20, 2016 at 3:26 AM UTC
overt discriminations
polaroid dickensian remonstrations
elevated poo pooing of forecasted demonstrations
coalescing in a whitley bay bus stop
be sick on my shoes
angel of the overcast sky
I will fornicate with bureaucrats and syncophants
call me beligerent in an acid rain downpour
belicose victim of the jackbooted thuggery
tattooed forearms,
a conduit for satanic grunting
I hear volcanos erupting, sick sick
Debonair and not caring
uppercutting the earth until it enters a feotal position
razorblade wit and ******** upon a darras hall balcony
I would like to inhibit a physical space paramount and facile
I smell tomato ketchup and whipped flesh
unequal pleasures and sequinned ******
boot me into a grave state of mind
Sep 8, 2018
Sep 8, 2018 at 11:41 AM UTC