This is the first of the many
Times I will try
To hide what I'm feeling

I may be like Taylor Swift
As I write down every giggling moment to
Every heart ache
Maybe it's just cause of you

I'm not gonna lie
This is not the first time I've fallen
Head over heels someone
But this is the first
Time i actually tried
Writing what it feels like

Showing the world isnt that easy when
Everyone knows everything
The best treasures lie flat on the secrets of the earth
And in that case
You have been my secret
And no, its not because of your face

Today
I saw you
Do something
That shocked me
It was a first

The confidence that heaped
Coals larger than heavens can phathom
It was a first for someone to actually
Sweep me off my feet
With an uncontainable love
That made me shake everytime
I would think of you
As i watched you
Perform

It was magical
More like euphorical
With every dimension
You twisted the entire universe
As i was the tornado in the middle
Getting twisted with every whirlpool of emotion
Bringing comets and asteroids breaking apart
Cause of the power
That fueled me

It was nice to see one guy
Show complete sincerity
With that oness i feel
Calms me
With every look
Brings me to tonight's serendipity

I havent slept in 3 days but how can I rest when I'm awake.. 3rd day that I've opened my eyes to my reflection and seen a brand new face.im loosing my skin
:1st day... Confused running like the chicken and deer, a stick snaps like a car door opens and I'm paranoid that was the last thing I got to say to her..
Day 2: mathematics.. they just clicked I started going through years and days.. like did I just make that all up.. no way... Let's just play..how they add up to the point I'm pacing thinking I need to veer center and Grey..
UnorthodoxMethods without any drugs,
People must think that I'm a ***** or assume im deep now with thugs.. but it's something I never felt before and I've started to notice it more and more .. it starts in the stomach with pain and then
gets me to over think till it bounces like thoughts of how to say I love you peacefully and also act the same way without taking advantage of each others lovely things..
Okay.. no more  games loki.. karma's set. Anubis around my neck with 5 points that all intersect .. and I'm sitting in the **** center of it.. I go through this.. i go through it again.. I drink coffee recheck and  ask a friend. I've lost myself a second or two now and then and even asked for help from the others who play clueless but I think they are it's protection.. Raphael will slaughter any who touch .. then I found another stepping stone.. remembered Ancients love the creation of lust..
But no surprise .. no-one came or responds. Lost between reality and conspiracy.  what now do I do to explain my therory.. I may write a book that will last past my history .. combine us as the king and use my middle name to handle me... But  with all this knowledge of how everyone has 2 find real in truth.. I got no proof biggie.. but if I was Tupac I too would need time to be blue.. **** the dog Kingsman, And beat your brother inches from life You English Man of Letters...
Even though.  Most aren't this clever..
Even though the red burns his eyes despised by ways I visiualized but quickly and swiftly im told too get over the sacrifice of 1 and then both will DNA and curve back in ..3 is Devine. energy can't escape it's exact rhythm and rhyme so let that sink in like quicksand  maybe this time ive just went to far.. just to elighn and see the heaven placed over your world  in a dementional aspect.. i catch glimpses of hell as well when I play with my own head and personal issues..
It's crazy too.. one quick white orb.. and a black Sillouette.. if I focus or look not showing I'm looking or dragging the obvious .. I can see invisible  beings that look like propane leaks...
Funny how I can even bring it back to my childhoods favorite game Halo.. they say only the elites can disappear.. but they been training me since I was baby bro..
Now I can just make a Jesus out of you???
The one thing I always wanted to do.. preach and podium Kennedy but I needed proof it was meant for me....and now i sound like another view.. but I am a prodigeys son to the father that's only 1.. he holy cause a ghost found the love in something so Devine it's Angel angelic moved .. after it was word I spoke it .. when they though they can't be moved.  I let it happen and  it gets crazier delving in my truths... Morphing into one until the ships go dim and give us the new human illusion we are hurling towards the son.. his April my circle July initiation .. I remember a straight stare and I heard him say welcome..then vibrations..but from there all I found was more human error .. I now made a,
or make this,
pact with the moon to protect the sun and watch over the children when it's cloudy and the spies can't see nothing..

I'm so negative on the fact  ... I'm that good that bad follows me to test my enlightenment and spine discs the vertabre holds tight so I am both sides of peace.. but i am to spiritual to change my persona and end up a violent genetic cell change to a beast.  last encounters weird... Grim, death.. last one to be met..3 years ago.. but last one left.. after 7 years my final test... Watch how I sacrifice my best friend for the knowledge i later regret ..
I'm the best wait... All the horseman think Im going to *** appeal there favorite guest.
His wife, his daughter.. maybe I should repent innocent and except I'm in it for what's next im no Martyr just a human getting it off his chest.. we are.. you know what i know.. yes. Yes.. quit saying the names of the people involved youve never met..
It's killing me like matrix.  
rejoining all that isn't when is .. is something I can only geuss..
Red or blue pill I'll just sit up and wake up cause I geussed.
leaving today though now I see he was death.. part of my awakening and now his and his fullfillment of quest.. hes the last horsemen but he holds his breathe there all waiting on my last event. that now 3 days of no rest phathom to true.. jan5th and my promise of laws I gift .. its just half the battle between the time I need to fix this mess.. I'm on my 9th life this is the last one I have to get.. I been telling myself this everyday since my head concussion and ***** when I realized the deer was dead. .. under a bridge.. memory rewind.. down the steps... This hallway is dark I can't find the floor ..oh wait... A door.. key pad.. 2 silent Marines and i mash the buttons... A unbalanced and static type of disfunction..
Picked up by the white coat man happy to see me again gazing into my eyes like he's surprised I found myself there again.. is this a dream or have I left... 12 with us as 1 , time of the 5 points they add up to as you 2..
112592.. that's me and you... 9+2 x 2 what is up is down so side to side is true too.. now at 47 I see the numbers never lie in truth.. April leo February and January too.. last one is the question... I geuss a random 1020 .. cause for some reason.. I feel it's the Law placed in front of me... 27 25 5.. is 77 and it all is something..
Just devide 3 laws.. and really it is.. do the math I'm not going gummy dummy no money ****** freaky deaky what the heck does this freak believe..??
don't or do forget about who leads the world ..
But in all truth it's a female age.. so as of today that's.. 6,9 and ask me... All together decided by double 7 is 33.4°.. How long does a coincidence repeat .. until it's arguablly no fallacy.??.. When in all reality.. evidence has proven immortality.. ya devide by 2.. and then ask daughter 2.. how old are you ..

BTW tell them I miss them too.. I heard the tears last night and I'm dieing without all of you too... 5 points

Lust with Disgust, I am in Beast Mode, Teased  overload. What i cant phathom is being hurt for what i cant control. Pain being in slain, Crude is like being Rude, Hatred with no sacred is like just not wanting to Live for myself. I turn this way i turn that way, as the moon shines upon my face, I feel disgraced. I am mad and angry for what you have done to me. Without Emphathy i don't want your Symphathy. Your name is Thomas you act like Nostradamus You act like your better than the rest if the rest is on a test then your not any better than the rest You point fingers when you should look in the mirror. You Look at Paublo and you make him quiver with disgust. We are 3 and all i ask is to be free from pointing fingers

Your presence comes hand in hand with this pressure,
I cannot phathom the words to say or the expressions to place.
I feel this inescapable uneased.
This inenscapable thudding of my brain as it tries to figure out how best it can open a fragment of my heart to project onto a floor for another to
Mishear
Misinterpret
Misread
Or simply ignore.

It is a war of constant.
It is a run for miles.
It is a search for what doesn't want to be found in that moment.