New Years Day
The 1st of the Month
Lent, Ash Wednesday

I swear I'll give it up

Maybe this Birthday
When's the new moon?
Start over every Monday

I continue to throw up

Perpetual sickness
Never small enough
At war with my body

So many food groups to give up

Dietary restrictions
The socially acceptable excuse
Undercover overeater

Will I ever be good enough?

[windowless the museum of weight loss]

brother puts the basketball under his shirt so he can light my cigarette.

we born
to miss
animals.

[under god]

we are photos
of a dreamless
fact

[annihilatives]

this dream again where no one likes me

the overeater I sleep for

[infancy]

who is my brother?

a boy
fishing
from a ruined
helicopter

–

where is my sister?

being seen
by a ghost

–

am I alone?

dumbfounded
by rest

–

has anyone called my mother?

these tracks belong to the animal

drinks
from your father’s

bowl

–

is there a name?

for some
words

–

tell me there’s a church.

small to a turtle

[upside]

/ this talk of home

/ bush of the hissing baby

/ snow

that can see
blood
in the dark

/ events

my body
held

/ first haircut,

broom, crucifixion

[boy lord]

boomerang,

the toy of the lonely and the gospel

of the weak
dog…

perfection
is bad
art

I was feeling fat and totally ugly
And I need a drug to knock me out
Get rid of my desire to eat a lot
And that a drug is ozempic
At first it didn’t do much
But that is because I have always
Been an overeater
And it took a long time
To get a hang of this not eating thing
You see I liked chocolate Coca-Cola
And doughnuts and chocolate chip muffins and juices and lemonade
As well as egg and bacon rolls and hamburgers too and fatty toasted sandwiches as well as cheesecake and vanilla slices and I could feel the injection of ozempic to stop this whole mess
I will get rid of it all now, stop eating those morning yoghurts that make me bloat
I feel like eating it but it won’t be good for me, I wanted to be fat because my legs were weeping, it’s gone and hopefully o can get rid of the gut