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kenye Oct 2013
Everyone's out to outdo everyone else
It's not even about meaning anymore
It's how much press coverage it gets
Whoever makes them "just" statistics
And there's no fantasy draft yet

Somewhere alone in his dark place
Ruminating his environment
Some bedwetting, fire starting, animal abuser
Infantilized by the hatred of maternal instincts
Projected on him
De-evolved

He likes the way she hurts him
She abuses open hand words
or clenched up fists of embarrassment
It just fuels his homicidal tendencies
His brains on the hate frequency
And he's ready to let the fantasy slip

Home is where the heartless host
absence of emotional ghosts
the boy
the man
the monster

He lost it

Family annihilator,
He took his mother out last
So she'd suffer through
the destruction of the *******
Her wasted wish
of abortion'd children.

This was before the news vans
This was before the first respondents
This was before the society outlash

Back to him alone in a dark place
In the depths of his disturbing mind
He sets higher stakes.
I wrote most of this after taking a course in Criminal Psychology. I noticed a pattern with a lot of serial killers having troubled relationships with their mothers. It's an interesting dynamic, the absence of nurturing is very detrimental to the development of the psyche in children. This is probably my darkest work, I thought no better time than to post it than before Halloween.
The road I've traveled down has been cracked more times than pavement, each splinter in cement more vicious than the next. The brush that tries to stop my way is overgrown three times as much as the noose I want so badly to wrap around my neck. See when I hurt you I realized that the only option I have is to end the story, the one where the boy fell for the girl and the girl fell for the guy and they almost lived happily ever after. Only the boy had demons and at night his arm turned canvas his knife a paintbrush. He splashed splinters of blood over his arm, dug trenches for soldiers to hide in. My love I am sorry, I didn't mean to turn out this way so I promise when the boy turns back, when the artist puts down his paintbrush then I will emerge. From the shadows I will rise, rise faster and better than before like a phoenix only death can bring rebirth !

   My love I did not mean to harm you. I don't mean to sound like the pounding of fists or the downing of a bottle. I do not mean to be angry or to raise my voice. You forget that one outlash at you is a thousand lashes for me. A uncontrolled temper of a second means I deserve a thousand deaths. Means I deserve not your forgiveness no, that would be too easy. It means I deserve hell, deserve to be cut open like my skin to my razorblade splashing paint onto canvas ******* pain out of my skin my love. I do not mean, to be an *******. I don't have an excuse except for that my family raises my tempers and you were just unfortunate to be the target.

   My love. I am so sorry that I am a coward. That you've become stuck with a minuscule of a man. I can only hope that my death, untimely or otherwise will bring a better life for you. I am the phoenix. And like a phoenix I will gladly embrace death.
Indigo Mar 2018
HaHa
The god laughed
As he drew my heart a perfect match
To the one man
That would die for me
But who'd also **** me
In a moment of outlash
...
So haha
This is not a poem about life, this is a poem about death
Ahout bruises
About going back every time
About never learning when it's enough
This is not what i would write, this is sickness that was written since my birth
Is this what they call destiny?

This is trading life.. For love
bluevelvet May 2017
You desired me
to understand,
wanted me to
be a friend.

You turn your back,
overlook the drowning hand.
You wanted revenge,
you wanted it
to be an end.

Begging to believe,
you got the best of me.
I was the change,
you moved forward
but still stuck in same.

To be victor,
you long for
the moment to leave
the final lasting mark.
The kind to
illuminate in the dark.

You get what you get,
that's a funny saying.
Who will give you
what you give,
if what you give is outlash
from the payback
of what you got
from what you gave?

You're sitting high and mighty,
up above in that head.
What'll happen when
you're the one left for dead?
But I wouldn't wish that on you.
I'm not the one
saying I'm better,
I'm just the one
saying I grew farther
in that matter,
along with many others.
Bryce Oct 2020
I think we've all been there
In a solitary state of mind
In a world filled with singularly grief
I crashed and burned to cinders
Leaving behind my legacy to wuthering winds
Become someone who I am not
Distanced myself from friends and family
Like the great seas parting ways
The path becomes deeper
Blacker than midnight
In a constant loop of finite self hate
I learned tolerance for life
And the impact of a choiceful
Outlash of anger can lead to.

— The End —