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JAM May 2021
A man walks down the street,
He says, "Why am I soft in the middle, now?
Why am I soft in the middle?
The rest of my life is so hard.
I need a photo-opportunity,
I want a shot at redemption,
don't want to end up a cartoon
in a cartoon graveyard.

Sometimes when people meet me,
they think I look the sad type,
but when I look in the mirror
I see someone that's learned it all the hard way.

When I pretend I’m happy
I never feel that sappy,
I'm only painting the clouds with sunshine.

I'd rather be a shadow than a veil.
Yes, I would,
If I could,
I surely would.

When I hold back a tear
To make a smile appear
I'm only painting the clouds with sunshine.

Eighteen and jaded with a gun in my hands.
I was fighting for freedom and just what is that?
Bills to the banks and food for the kids,
money for college but couldn't get in.

It was violent times,
And you shouldn't have to sell your soul.
In black and white
They really, really ought to know.”

A man walks up the street,
He says, ”Well hey little Hollywood!
You're gone but you don't forget!
You got the cash but your credit's no good!
You flipped the script; you shot the plot!

Now Shout, shout, let it all out!
These are the things you could do without!
Come on, I'm talking to you, come on!

Walking toward him, Hollywood begins to shout,
“All around me are familiar faces,
worn out places, worn out faces,
bright and early for the daily races,
going nowhere, going nowhere!

Getting closer to him, he quiets down and says,
“Now I've heard there was a secret chord
that I could play, and it’ll please the Lord.
But you don’t really care for music, do you?
It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth,
the minor falls, the major lifts,
the baffled king composing Hallelujah.

But why am I short of attention?
Got a short little span of attention.
And, whoa, my nights are so long.
Where's my life and future?
What if I die here?
Who was my role model?
Oh, was my role model always there?"

The man starts speaking with Hollywood,
“Now, I have a secret to tell,
From my electrical well.
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells.
So, you must listen to me,
filibuster vigilantly.
My name is blue canary, one note, spelled L-I-T-E.
My story's infinite,
like the Longines Symphonette, it doesn't rest.

I’m hoping and waiting for something to sing
like the angels in heaven or the bones on the street.
I’m hoping for life to find a new voice.
Oh, the song that needs singing has already been sung before.”

Hollywood says solemnly to Lite,
“I might put on my blue suede shoes
and board a plane.
I’ll touch down in the land of the Delta Blues
in the middle of the pouring rain.
Buddy Holly, will you look down over me?
I’ll get a first-class ticket,
but I'm as blue as a boy can be.

Those one-track minds,
they took me for a serving boy,
kiss them goodbye.
I shouldn't have to jump for joy.
You shouldn't have to jump for joy.

I'd rather sail away,
like a swan that's here and gone.

And I find it kind of funny,
I find it kind of sad,
the dreams in which I'm dying
are the best I've ever had.
I find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard to take,
when people run in circles it's a very, very,
mad world.”

Lite says to Hollywood,
“I could be your only friend.
I'm not your only friend,
but I'm a little glowing friend,
but really, I'm not actually your friend,
but I am.

Your faith was strong, but you needed proof.
You saw the rivers running all aloof,
their beauty in the moonlight overthrew you.
You were tied to a kitchen chair,
they broke your throne, and they cut your hair,
and from your lips they drew the Hallelujah.

They gave you life
and in return you gave them Hell,
as cold as ice.
I hope you live to tell the tale."

Hollywood says angrily,
“Well, humans are boring, dangerous morons,
with no respect for life.
And maybe the rabbit who lives in the forest
is clever-er than our dads.
And maybe it's time we watch the sun rise
knowing it's our last,
as life soldiers on without us,
just a figment of the past.”

They start walking up the street
And Hollywood says,
“A long, long time ago,
I can still remember how that music
used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those people dance
and maybe they'd be happy for a while.

I look to the sea.
Reflections in the waves spark my memory,
Some happy some sad,
I think of childhood friends and the dreams we had.
We live happily forever,
so the story goes,
but somehow we missed out
on that *** of gold.
But we'll try best that we can
to carry on.”

A gathering of angels
appeared above his head,
they sang to him this song of hope
and this is what they said,
they said: “come sail away, come sail away,
Come sail away with us.”

Hollywood looks around,
he’s on a street in a strange world.
Maybe it's the third world,
maybe it's his first time around.
Doesn't speak the language,
He holds no currency.
He is a foreign man.
He is surrounded by the sound, the sound
of cattle in the marketplace,
scatterings and orphanages.
He looks around, around,
He sees angels in the architecture,
spinning in infinity,
He says, "Amen and Hallelujah!"

Lite mutters, “Well, maybe there's a God above,
as for me all I've ever learned from life
is how to shoot somebody who outdrew you.
But it's not a crime that you're here tonight,
it's not some pilgrim who claims to have seen the light.
No, it's a cold and it's a very broken Hallelujah.

But soon I’ll be all a shiver
With every paper I deliver.
Bad news on the doorstep,
I won’t take one more step,
But I’ll remember to cry
When I read about this dismembered guy.”

Hollywood says to Lite, he says,
“Did you write the book of life,
And do you have faith in God’s strife,
If that book tells you so?
Now, do you believe in rock 'n' roll?
Can music save your mortal soul?
And can you show me how to entrance and glow?

If you'll be my bodyguard,
I can be your long-lost pal.
I can call you Lyre,
And Lyre, when you call me, you can call me Oll.”

Lite says to Hollywood,
“Now, for ten years we've been wandering alone,
And moss grows fat on a rollin' stone.
But that's not how it needs to be.
When a jester sings for the king and queen
in a quote he borrowed and painted green
And a voice that’ll come from you and me.

Painting the blue, beautiful hues,
colored with gold and old rose.
He’s playing the clown,
trying to drown all of his woes.
Though things may not look bright,
they all turn out alright
if he keeps painting the clouds with sunshine.

Hollywood chimes in,
“Well, I don't know why I talked to you tonight.
I've got the feeling that something ain't right.
I'm so scared in case I fall through the air,
and I'm wondering what fruit this talk bears.”

Lite looks off into the distance and says,
“There's a feeling I get when I look to the West,
and my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees
and the voices of those who stand looking,
that's you.

And it's whispered that soon, if we all call the tune,
then a jester will lead us to reason
and a new day will dawn for those who stand long.
And the forests will echo with laughter.
Remember laughter?

Always look on the bright side of life,
Always look on the Lite side of life.

If life seems jolly rotten
Then there's something you've forgotten,
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dump,
don't be silly chump,
Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing.
And

life is for singing,
and life is for dancing,
and life is for making love.
Life is for learning and thinking and teaching,
and life isn't giving up.
Life isn't buying and selling and wishing
that everything came for free.
Repeat after me:

Always look on the bright side of Lite.”

Hollywood looks to the distance with Lite,
“Well, life is for sharing.
but sometimes it's hard when you've hardly got enough.
Sharing is caring
but will you still care if the water gets really rough.
Life jackets on, lifeboats supported,
and people will drown the same,
As the water of life falls out of the sky
and washes the whole thing away.

Lite looks at Hollywood, “Well Oll, I've been here before.
I know this room and I've walked this floor.
You see I used to walk alone before I knew ya,
And I've seen your flag on a marble arch.
But listen, life,
life is not some kind of victory march, no,
it's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah.

Oh, and while the king is looking down
the jester will steal his ***** crown.
The courtroom will adjourn,
no verdict will return,
and while leaning into the teeth of sharks,
a quartet practices in the park,
and we sing dirges in the dark,
the day the music dies.”

Hollywood realizes something,
“Well Lyre, you’re the picture opposite me,
of my primitive ancestry,
which stood on rocky shores and kept the beaches shipwreck free.
Though I respect that a lot
I'd be fired if that were my job,
after killing Jason off and countless screaming Argonauts.
Bluebird of friendliness,
like guardian angels, you’re always near.

Oh, Life is for livin’, as long as I'm breathin’
my life won't be wasted on me.

Now I've done my best, I know it wasn't much.
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch.
I've told the truth, I didn’t talk to you, Lyre, just to fool you.
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand right here before the Lord of song
with nothing, nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah.”

Then Hollywood whispers to Lite, who is drawing his gun,
“it's a cold and it's a very broken Hallelujah.”

Grinning, he pulls the trigger.

And so, the bullet of Hollywood’s gun went so deep;
And Lite’s belly closed upon the shrapnel,
so that he could not draw the bullet out;
and the dirt came out.
samuel ck Nov 2011
ol king crab kingo the highwaymen**

cumma walking down that hallways street
oll king crab king o the highwaymen
he got swagger boom swagger
he got boom bap pow
pow
pow
-
i seen im runnat comb through his hair
i seen it move back
i seen it glitter-glisten under em bright lights
onna ceeling
-
i seen im touchin
mercury aphrodite
i seen im touchin onna ladies
hera n persephone
he been touchin onna ladies
backadatruck
backadatruck
back seat
pull em uppa cliffside
pull em uppa cliff
bring em inna that backseat
5 minutes in heaven baby
you know it
-
ol king crab dont go to school
he appears
he come-and-go
touch-and-go
in-out
he just visiting
dont need no work
dont need to work
get nuffa that at home
-
ol king crab drop out
not too much trouble
he never drop in

get a job drivin a truck
aint no better way to live
then watching those glitter-glisten lights
on that highway
run that comb through your hair
do it one more time,
do it for us king crab

yeah, just like that
-
down that road he go
b back l8r
b back
b back
down down down
hot stuffy old car
dice onna mirror
just like a movie

luck pair of dice
such a lucky paradise
inna truck

down that road

fulla nuthin

fulla nuthin

fulla NOTHING.
-
Ol' King Crab he *****
he chew
he *****
that how to live
that how to live?
yeah, son.
in back o tha gas station he *****
back inna gas station he chew
tobacco gum tobacco

he take em ladies by the hand
them ladies aint outta worry
king crab outta worry
watch whose hand you take.
-
Listen.
Don't let him take you by the hand.
Don't let him TAKE YOU.
DON'T LET HIM TAKE YOU BY THE HAND
-
ol king crab gettin
****** inna back of the gas
station
pullin outta driveways
and outta women

watch whose hand you take on that open road
you lose yo head
a m a n d a Aug 2013
why does
the world have
to look so
beautiful sometimes...
sunlight filters
through trees
kids fling water
up from the creek
to catch light in air
in my ear
smooth
spanish
groove
and it all
makes me
want to cry
because i can't appreciate
a moment
everything beautiful
is so f l e e t i n g
everything hard
and hateful
lingers
and sticks
you can't just
******* have something
good.
you can't.

during a melt
d
o
w
n

in college
i saw a counselor
that told me to face my fear of
the worst possible events happening
use my voice to project the probabilities out loud
would i lay down and die? doubtful. say what you would do.
it doesn't seem so bad when it's specific...
it's a cloud of random doom that seems unthinkable.
you realize it's all do-able
a little at a time
you will survive

but now                                            
that is where i live              
in the                              
subterranean gloom
with well thought through
foreknowledge of the worst
possible events
and my likely
miserable reactions

so i watch my life
c oll Aps e
and i want to
laugh hysterically

*******. *******. *******. and *******.                                              
what the **** am i supposed to do?                                                    

reinvention is jolly,
they say
Ha!

Bah - it was just a job
another will just POP up
any moment
HA!
                                                      ­  (someone seriously help me,
i'm laughing so hard i'm choking)


Gah!
who needs a mate?
not me!

solitary confinement
sure pumps out poetry
in extreme quantity,
this i will confess

solitude is good
i like quiet
  music  
movies    
writing
    reading
   wine

but pray tell,
do you realize
how many hours
there are
in
one
*******
day?
when your purpose is
torn from you?
and you are left to wander
the earth alone
to find a new life mission
or the least miserable substitute?

            have you felt the                          
    gut-wrenching longing
alone in bed
in
(utter silence)
night
after
night
after
night?
not for love past
but for love new
for lust
for touch
to not feel alone
in the world

at times
i feel like a
person made of
the thinnest glass
with some nasty creature
perched on my shoulder
laughing horribly
sharpest pin always touching me
hammer always raised in the air
ready to strike.

whatever.

you're going to tell me everything is going to be fine, right?

yeah.
Ken Pepiton Feb 2020
Imagine good enough for once
and all we do may do good.

Corny, Provencial, San Juaquin,

come waltz with me,
my tilde, leave us oll rrroling rrs

all ye all ye outs in free, we are only one century

out of tune.

And we found a rready wrrited rreason to say

a used key is always bright.

Freedom of the press, is an abstraction frrom
freedom, per se, being in need of rights,
authoritatively apprrius osity curio

those be noise, not functing scipots, bags of wind.

we are the words that fit the pattern to the card,
for Mon Jacquard, once a soldier,
trained in close order drill,
a thread from there,

gives us software. The fruit of the sci sent to
Mon Jacquard,

words taught his fingers to fight.
There is a right fight.

It is nobody's war. Nobody fights it for you.

Come, let us imagine making peace in a cup,
until it spills,

and coats the world like Sherrwinn Williams.
Joy in musing may be shared or some such moral is in the whole story, I'm told.
Clovina Oct 2015
Strong
That’s…
What Everyone…
Sees…

Being
Me?

That’s…
My
Facade…

But no one…
Could ever *S
ee…
Me

But *You
...
I think

And you’d always…
Talk to me...
Speak to me…
And tell me…

That I’m weak…
Very…
Very  Weak...

And you’ll Cry...
And you’ll Plea
You’ll Call...
And you’ll Scream...

That…

Mentally…
I’ve Lost…

Emotionally…
I’m Tired…

Physically…
I’m Broke…

And
I...
Would deny your claim...

W**...
Do you Think...
You Are?

You
Can’t See…
Through my  Facade

...But…

You
May be...
Right  Though

Maybe...

You’ve Once...
Told your  Friends...


That…
If They Look at me…
Closely...


They
Could See Me...
Breaking

From the Pressure?


Emotionally
Literally...

But Baby...
You  Know…
You are  Wrong...


Because...
You've  Forgotte­n…
One  Last Thing...


It's that...
I Am…
But
A Porcelain Doll...
Mapi Jan 2015
The first time I saw you,
you were drinking a coffee
and smoking,
maybe that was a signal
that we would never work...
I hate cigarettes.

You had that smile
for which I would have given my life,
those kaleidoscope eyes
that used to carry me to another galaxy...
our galaxy.

I never thought
that I would write of you
because I always write about
things that hurt me...
and I'd never thought that
your love would end in a heartbreak.
I didn't want you to be a scar in my soul
I wanted you to be some kind of magic cream
that would take away oll of the pain.

I thought that our love would be eternal,
that we would be a "happily forever after"
but, darling, I was so ******* wrong,
we were just two stupid kids
who didn't know anything about love.

I always thought that cry for a boy
was such a stupid thing,
but I cried for over three months
and I still cry sometimes.
Because You left me alone
in the middle of the dark,
you took all my light away.

I know that it can sound stupid,
but I feel broken
like if You had punched me
really hard in the chest,
I cannot breath deeply
because it hurts...
it really hurts.

You are probably having fun
with a blonde girl you met a bar,
or travelling around the country
as you always wanted...
and here I am,
writing about you,
a boy who didn´t love me back anymore,
who left me away and moved on.

But I don't hate you
as I used to do,
I really hope that you find someone
who can love you with the passion I did,
that cares you and protects you from the world.

People say that
if you fall for a person who writes,
you will always live in their writings
and I like to think
that a part of you, of  our love,
will always be alive in my soul
so I can write about them.

Only God knows
how much I loved you
and how much I still do,
but I have to move on
and this is my goodbye.
DG Apr 2020
if it all goes wrong
we can all move to Saturn
sure, it’s a gas giant,
so if that goes wrong
we can move to
Titan and Enceladus.

no angst, no despair,
no existential fear and
most importantly, no Karens.
maybe there are undiscovered
frozen glaciers of oreo milkshakes
out there in the universe.

there are no dead ends,
no places you don’t belong in,
no absence of a friend.
do not be scared of growing up,
there are infinite years to spend,
just 16 candles, in a universe so vast.

good books, moments, coffee blends,
conan gray songs, minecraft and games.
time is in your hands, clocks don’t melt.
oll is well that ends well,
we can all always move to Saturn,
the universe belongs to you, my friend.
happy birthday, ollie
Mateuš Conrad Mar 2019
oh, well, it takes roughly
                   staying up to 1am
to listen to foxes...
     maul through their desperate cries
of existence...
       the persistent reiteration of
                   linguistics,
        the overt-subject matter of *** -
can the tongue please find the mouth,
then the head,
   then the brain, then the mind,
then the substance of soul,
and move away from
        the genital preoccupation...
i know some gentiles have been
circumcised in the wild wild west...
but... please...
               well: evidently this is a counter...
infringing on the freedoms of
others, is to somehow: feed
the inhibitions,
   of my already inhibited freedoms
that others share?
                rigidity,
that's what i've ever experienced...
      language this,
language that,
              genesis primordial english,
erasure,
                  like some sort of lapse,
amnesia,
                             remains?
a nodding approval...
                            or the leprosy haven...
more concerned with
a testimony of telling a bad joke,
than resentment...
          base fact:
   i want to capture language in
the anti-voyeuristic sense of transit...
it's not a people,
it's not a place,
english, is... very much a lingua franca...
a means of transaction...
      a language of tourists...
that's it...
                   which is why i feel sorry
for the natives...
   caught-up in this whole h'american
"debacle"...
concerning the integration
of immigrants / ex-pats for the "in crowd"...
so you want me to speak
the language, but you want me to speak it,
you want me to speak it,
but you don't want me to keep
my diacritical "bias",
entertain your lack of,
   you know...
    playing with a Ken & Barbie
would be much simpler...
you want me to speak english
without minding accent...
but then miding an accent,
you want me to make diacritical distinctions,
but not make them...
you want me to mind
"orthography", when "you",
     "yourself" don't have any...
apart from dyslexia...
                    
     the ****?!
      you: pronouns
         +r: determiner
            self: noun...
  ego: noun...
        
the english language,
      the mongrel that it is,
it sure as **** dictates
itself rightly as a lingua franca,
the language of tourists...
but is it a universal *******
                         arbiter?

"gender neutral" pronouns...
then they're not pronouns
to begin with! are they?
you think that resurfacing from
   under the eisenvorhang...
at least back then
        back in 1986...
  the soviets had power...
   what is this...
                a revisionism
               of the english language?
              
****... if you're going to play
the "gender neutrality" card,
might as well play
the "plural inclusivity" card,
given how some
schizophrenics might settle
the debate with: WE...
confusing, i know,
but given their hallucinatory
symptoms...
      
             we as i,
               i as we,

i wasn't even born in england,
and i'm supposed to be, inclined,
to have a share,
in this country's, "inheritance"?
so i'm supposed to
**** off h'america?
  because of the shared
   allegiance of the shared tongue?

ha ha...
             rewriting the strict
obligations to grammar,
   as necessary refinement to
approach communicated speech...
so no meow,
no blah blah,
   no growl will do?
    please bring back the soviet
intellectuals,
   the whole world is laughing...
i'm laughing...
     i'm laughing in a hysterical
venture of...
        minding "the" fact that...
there's a madman,
   and he sounds more sane
than some of these counterfeit
sanity respondents...
**** it...
this whole circus of en masse...
as nietzsche pointed out,
            is the                  oll-neu-norm...

bettering the cause...
what the hell is "bettering"
and what the hell is, "the cause"?
by now...
people are not even bothering
to reference the dictionary...
we're talking about only
sourcing the application
of the thesaurus...

                cue misnomer,
cue the interpolation
   of the general standard of meaning...
wrap up a **** in
the flag of conveyance
    and call it: choccy thursdays.
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2018
/             i've stopped playing the game...
  never knew, what,
                  the "game" was to begin
                with...
but... as der oll europäisch
that i am...
      american *** culture always
fascinated me...
what i encountered?
was illegal...
   but what i did? wasn't...
   the pristine monetary transparency
of consensus between
adults...
         usher in the snarling...
but... to replace prostitution -
with a striptease,
   and a pornographic **** industry?
that's like replacing psychiatry
with catholic confession booths!
how can you confine
a man's desire...
   to psychiatric, pithy,
    tongue waggling?
or ****-tease within the confines
of a striptease...
  or expect... jerking off to
a pornographic movie...
     anything short...
  of the equivalent of
   the prohibition era stipend
on curbing drunks?
bad, ******* combo...
      no one is going to visit
Amsterdam to smoke the ****...
esp. not the men...
they'll travel to Amsterdam to
****... and not bother feeling
ashamed... when a Puerto Rican
bubbly beauty says:
   i don't mind...
           well... **** me...
    so why am i expected to mind,
to reach some, "respectable"
             public consensus?
whatever is, "bad" about prostitution,
consent...
   is what has been rotting,
      imploding the thespian art...
acting...
                 and some that...
authentically take pleasure in it...
can't exactly act, or rather: fake...
an ******...
   and i've seen one example
where there is genuine pain,
translated into a hushed howling...
an ouw - that ******* version
of ouch...
                 but America can't explain
to me...
       why there's an Amsterdam...
and there is consent...
   and... even if she has a ***** stashed
in her boudoir...
you don't want to use it...
sometimes taking more lips and
tongue to meet her's...
        than actual genitals...
but...
   substituting prostitution...
with ******* and ****-tease
clubs?
   this, very American:
   mind my personal space...
no touching... mentality?
    talk to a Picasso not being able
to play with a canvas...
what will you say?
          paint me a mental picture?!
- and if you don't have
a girlfriend, as a bulgarian *******
might ask,
and you reply:
- no...
                    there is no emotional
depth to the scenario...
there is only, the supreme carnal
act...
     there is no:
let's have coffee tomorrow,
while eating croissants, talking about
the type of music we both like...
i abhor emotional puppetree -
       i'm here for the butcher's bite...
i'm here to tenderize the meat...
draw a tattoo on the soul...
to deviate from the space-temporal
constraints of relationships
and their obvious, ship, and anchor...
               money, not power,
is the only pivot
            for ****** transparency...
what she will "earn", i would have
never spent...
                  i buy time,
i don't buy a body,
  that will, remain, non-binding
        to my other "engagements"...
so yes... i'm "perverted" over details...
the scent of hair...
the eye contact...
   the antithesis of a leather belt
or leather shoes when caressing
an embodiment of in vivo...
   the naked torso,
  the lost obsession with *******...
the leg, the bulging thigh,
wrapped around my stomach...
    the interludes of silence
and absolute curiosity,
   sharing a taste in contradictory
musical tastes...
washing her body in the shower...
saying to not wanting to shower
after the hour: to retain the perfume
of her body on mine:
   like a second, or third encounter,
with a ghost...
      but... the American deviation
from prostitution...
   superseded by *******
and striptease clubs?
     bad combo...
     'look, but don't touch.
touch, but don't taste;
taste, but don't swallow
',
you already know it's about
as toxic as masculinity
could be, deprived, as it was,
in the prohibition era...
     yet men who never
entertained services of
prostitutes... will never tell you...
what's lying belly up...
moaning and groaning
on the sediment of civilization.

— The End —