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There was quite a crowd gathered when I reached my apartment building that morning.
Lots of cops and Emergency Medical personnel gathered everyone was just standing around.
I asked Wild Bill what happened?
Not sure, think it came out apartment five.
What?
A blood-curdling scream, and long wailing, unnatural sounds.
Right then I knew it was bad.
The apartment was occupied by cutthroat junkies and their infant daughter.
Tony “The Hulk” came out first, bloodied, bleary eyed, staring at the ground
Rosalie “The Muse” came next, screaming hysterically in Spanglish... muttering broken Catholic novenas
last soaked in solemn silence, Inca “The Baby”,
covered in a sheet, silent, never to speak again, forgotten.
Earth, earth,
riding your merry-go-round
toward extinction,
right to the roots,
thickening the oceans like gravy,
festering in your caves,
you are becoming a latrine.
Your trees are twisted chairs.
Your flowers moan at their mirrors,
and cry for a sun that doesn't wear a mask.

Your clouds wear white,
trying to become nuns
and say novenas to the sky.
The sky is yellow with its jaundice,
and its veins spill into the rivers
where the fish kneel down
to swallow hair and goat's eyes.

All in all, I'd say,
the world is strangling.
And I, in my bed each night,
listen to my twenty shoes
converse about it.
And the moon,
under its dark hood,
falls out of the sky each night,
with its hungry red mouth
to **** at my scars.
JB Claywell Sep 2016
as the coffee cup is rinsed,
the filthy little ******* lands
on the counter to my right.

immediately,
seeking a bludgeon,
his demise is envisioned.

however,
this housefly stays in
my periphery
for just a moment
longer

and

I cannot help but notice
his tiny little mitts, working
and fretting.

imagining the tiniest string
of rosary beads wrapped
around his housefly fists,
it occurs to me that he
might be making his peace
with God.

offering up his little housefly
benedictions, contritions;
apologies for all the sugar bowls,
he’s puked in during his
miniscule little life,

all the little maggots that
he might have fathered
and subsequently abandoned.

I think, without thinking really,
to chide my little countertop
cohort, saying:

“Ah, give it up little one, He isn’t there, He never was,
and if He is, He doesn’t give a second’s thought to the
likes of us.”

the housefly looks at me;
still furiously working his
unseen beads.

“You fool.” he says.

“God has obviously heard my contrition, my apologies,
and has granted me a reprieve, however brief.”

interrupting his novenas,
the housefly continues:

“You, my friend, are so great,
and I am so small,
yet you’ve heard my voice,
seen my beads,
given me reprieve, however brief.

I had asked God to give to you,
just one golden moment of
true, honest belief.

And, so He has, and now
you understand that
the prayers of a housefly
have stayed your hand.

So, it doesn’t matter how
great or how small,
God listens to each of us,
one and all.”  

*
-JBClaywell
©P&ZPublications; 2016
Playing with the notion of God.
Robert Zanfad Apr 2010
i've come here to commit the quivering weak,
feeding scurrying beasts more reeking fodder
sentimental flesh no match for their razor sharp teeth
banging *** lids, stomping feet
hoping that rats near, feasting
on scraps and detritus will scatter amid bluster
before eyes dare to open - perhaps catch sight of things
that might scare us
our cans, never closed -
left always ajar, an offering of communion
lest they grow too hungry
gnaw through walls and come inside,
share foie gras with guests I'd hoped to impress
now seated and dining behind;
disgust them in sights of sins best hidden out back in the darkness
and leave fine linens soiled with meals yet digested

his body's been disposed before,
innocent specter resurrected by morning to fog up the mirror
reciting novenas as beads of his rosary roll in counts down its surface
never suspecting fate that awaits as night falls once more
daytime is easier, drowning sound
from his voice in symphonies of piano and strings
Mozart's or Mahler's  -
other things of distraction...
that aren't there to hide in when
sun fades and sleep, again, tries to invade
his figure repudiated, extracted
from a psyche dissected years ago, like a tumor threatening to grow
swallow the Now from which time's made.
in pretense of conversion for the moment,  i take his hand and lead him -
more fresh meat for the rodents
(even saints sometimes lie when they don't like the answers - they atone deception later)
he still cries when I leave him alone at the altar

once
a shaman shaking dried heads tied to a stick with palm leaves
promised mysterious potions that would strengthen the weak
reciting magical incantations expected to exorcise spirits within
for all those who believed
practicing his science of faith or faith in his science
for clients lined up at the door,
seeking doses of hope that he sold them -  returning each week for some more
but for those apostate, left to stare in the glare of florescent
humors never found balance in bloodletting
lancet nor leaches
the weakness of faithless was in never tasting the cure
or trusting tears could ever be wiped away by ice picks
he ****** deep in eye sockets, the sweet lies he told us
holes left in the soul could never filled by blue pills -
they couldn't reach there

missionaries positioned their ways
through that breach,
preaching a new theology requiring surrender
of my reliquary of cherished memories
as precondition for salvation,
discarding polished bones i'd kissed and prayed over:

Her precious pink t-shirt, coil of hair still stuck there,
though having no root it could never be proved
from whom it was groomed,
it was article of faith - who could dare question it;

the used ticket stub with date imprinted
indicating temporal evidence that
once something true existed
that i, too, felt part of;

words bound in a covenant sent by saints
in small pieces of lavender-scented mail
though having waited so long
faith in The Coming had wasted
and perfume, long ago, faded to imagination

and so, a soul abandoned all hope of redemption

a red rose rendered in oils
expressing devotion for eternity lost meaning
when it withered
watered by hope, as it was and forgotten;
our castle built on clouds came tumbling to the ground
when we looked up, stared at the sky;
the permanent brilliance of diamonds become mere stones in the garden
when sown from a window on high -
wealth for worms to covet and fight over,
though the fool still knelt to sift soil through his fingers
in search of lost sacrament
finally planting his hope
in the many graves that he'd made
otherwise, for forsaken,
faith is just hope not yet ready to die

then, there's the weak one i'll face in the morning,
likely still worshiping old bones and reciting from memory his ancient liturgy
when i let it, a cacophony of questions
can echo about paths never taken, and why some vows, not others;
and i wonder if there's a heaven for heathens when clocks cease their ticking
off nows that i try to live in
For the stout of heart who have made it to this end, wondering why they've wasted their time with obscurity and lunatic rant,  my apologies... the outburst felt good in its writing.
Axel Deion Ngsy Feb 2014
It's so hot.

The priest's sermon-
whose warm voice so soft,
soothes the yearning ear,
encouraging oft,
for all to hear.
But the soul most dear.

And the poignantly silent Cross behind him.

People's voices-
rosaries, novenas,
strapping their arms,
but not their lips.
Heartily singing
or maybe snoring,
rising to the heavens,
but drowning my little own.
Like each sentence is simply a groan.

And the endless cars honking outside us.

Then in my little reverie, I yell:
Don't hush me!
When I pray to Thee,
all I want is Thy sympathy,
whose essence to a dry soul so empty,
would quench thousandfold a bounty!

Cries.
Then right beside my pew,
a light of unfurled color lies,
reveled by so few.

Then I look to the left,
facing the most mighty sun
shining on my burned cheeks,
on the blackest of hair,
closing my ****** eyes,
having a little fun.

Only one voice
of direction, of choice,
of just enough noise-
to brighten my day,
to go along with whatever may,
I am allowed to play!

And Mom tells me to keep silent,
before any wall gets a dent,
after I've learned what they've meant.

But, it's Sun-day.
The one light, the one love,
for the one me-

God allowed me to be.
I know that this is a really (or too) straightforward poem, but it's just about a child's encounter with the Divine (or what I felt a while ago) in the midst of a sultry morning.
up on Boot Hill
the sun sets early

the soaked anguish
of grieving mothers
swaddled in
twilight's vestments
mourn the death
of another murdered
child

we roll our eyes
and speak in tongues
tiny prayers
incant
RIP

these reflexive bits,
our shattered votives
litter city boulevards
on each solemn
street corner
new alters
of desecration  
are erected
then despoiled with
the wasted wax of
misspent novenas

our extended families
are bloodlines of fear
spawning
prostrate men
tattooed with
multicolored pain
who refuse to cover
body marks
bespeaking epic tales
of sorrow,
divisions
countless separations
also marking
righteous reasons
of seething
resentments
eager to settle
accounts

sweet vendettas  
clever ambushes
carefully deliberated
for generations
by discordant clans
believing in malice
exalting guns

shared loss
is our
common
affliction

uniting everyone
in envelopes of sadness
becoming live
Dear John letters
bearing news of dearly
departed loves

atop the coffins
of dead children
votives pile high
with scrawled eulogies
of fevered graffiti
solemnly pledging
“gonna make someone suffer
gonna even the score
never forget you
RIP”

and we all die
looking stupid as hell

lamenting
love don’t rest in peace
hearing
it scream from the grave
witnessing
the hallowed earth
churning with revulsion
accepting the bitter ashes
of another dead child

for the love of you
is your funeral march

love don’t RIP
it stalks the tomb
of indifference

it mourns
the ambivalence
of its devaluation

it haunts the
day dreams
of what could
have been

it restlessly
flits among
the playgrounds
of our minds

cluttering the rooms
of our homes
with grief

up on Boot Hill
we clasp the
small hands
protruding from
shallow graves
groping to find
a graceful sleep
for love don’t
rest in peace

Stevie Wonder:
Love Is In Need of Love Today

Written to honor
Love Appreciation Day

jbm
Oakland
1/19/13
v V v Sep 2010
I  think  he  likes  to sit out back
                             where he once sat
with all his yard in view
  his chair is gone but he is there
                                    he sits in mine
                                   I saw him once
                      while pacing through
the house at 3 am
                       I stopped and stared
                       and rapped the glass
to see if he’d respond
                                                  instead­              
he looked away..
                
      he must have heard novenas
for the dead..

      
                         I saw his tired stare
                                        the thin hair
                         on his balding head
wispy with static electricity
  the liver spots across his brow
                       a prominent display
of reckless living                    
                                 his body lay flat
against the chair
               like a life-sized playing card
                         with hands and feet
from Alice in Wonderland

                                             I wonder
does he miss the rabbits?


                  I looked for him again
                                             last night
                            at quarter after 2
           I wanted to tell him its ok
   to use my chair to reminisce..
  
               nostalgia tends to look
                                             like love
to those who are without..


                 perhaps another night
                            I’ll see him there
                              within my chair
and maybe we can talk
I’d do my best to comfort him
             and put his mind at ease
                             about the things
he’s now without
        like this old house he built
                                        I’d tell him
I will be there soon
                                    soon enough
from his perspective
                                            by grace
50 years from mine                
                we’ll sit and talk about
                  the days we lived and
loved here..

                              *I am not naïve
                    I know he is a ghost
but I am not afraid
Previously published at The Mind(less) Muse, August 2012
The blinds are closed.
Still a bit of daylight
        filters through.
My hands, my "me",
        invades the space.
The bed flutters in the
      softness of the room.

Tracing my limp body with
                my matted hand.

I feel death.
Sense it.
Wait for it.

My body will be so cold
when it ceases existing
.
It frightens me.
Saddens me.
Empty cadaver emptied
          of my essence.
Without a sound,
  my soul will depart.

I pray.
Beg.
Implore.

"Dear God, let it not be so."

But it must be as God decides.

Novenas and rosaries fervently said.
Muffled words that fall
                        like mud in the air.

When they come and prepare me
                                   for my funeral,
                                    I will not cry.
No. No tears.

Instead, embrace peacefulness.
Close the casket lid,
                 I'll be gone.
Inés es joven: en su faz hermosa,
Luchando están como Hércules y Anteo,
El carmín pudibundo de la rosa,
Con la avarienta lumbre del deseo.

Torna los corazones en despojos,
Pues tiene en su diabólico albedrío,
Miel en sus frases, dardos en sus ojos
El alma en ascuas y el semblante frío.

Es blanca en su exterior como azucena
Negra en su fondo cual la noche oscura;
Roja adelfa es su boca, que envenena
Al que una gota de su miel apura.

A fuerza de sufrir, lleva consigo
Tal odio al mundo que su planta pisa,
Que, engañando al amante y al amigo,
Usa como una máscara la risa.

Visita los altares, y allí brota
De sus labios y en público la queja:
Que por ganar la fama de devota,
Ha dado, siendo joven, en ser vieja.

Cansada al fin de dar funesto ejemplo,
Suelta un ***** mantón sobre su talle,
Y aunque igual en la calle y en el templo,
Hoy ha cambiado el templo por la calle.

En la humildad con que su rostro juega,
Se juntan lo piadoso y lo pagano:
Un correcto perfil de estatua griega,
Y el colorido del pincel romano.

Tan modesta se viste, y tan seguido
Se la mira en el templo lacrimosa,
Que son juntos su faz y su vestido,
Hábito y faz de austera religiosa.

Cuando se haiia en el templo arrodillada,
Rezando en alta voz con gran tristeza,
La gente que la ve dice asombrada:
«Inés es muy devota porque reza».

Los ojos bajos y la faz contrita,
Trémulos y turbados sus acentos,
Toma y lleva a su frente agua bendita,
Para ahuyentar los malos pensamientos.

Se ven correr las cuentas del rosario
Entre sus dedos de alabastro y grana,
Como en el blanco lirio solitario
Las perlas de la púdica mañana

Cuantos miran a Inés rezar sumisa,
Y oyen la voz con que piedad implora,
Y ven que, puesta en cruz, toda la misa,
Solloza, ruega, se estremece y llora;

Al ver su rostro en lágrimas deshecho,
Con santa unción resplandecer ufano;
Las reliquias que cuelgan de su pecho,
Las novenas que tiemblan en su mano;

Juzgan verdad su devoción sagrada,
Cierta juzgan su mística tristeza,
E ignoran que la dama arrodillada
No viene a orar... y, sin embargo, reza.

Entre orar y rezar hay un abismo,
Que ni medir ni escudriñar me toca:
El rezo y la oración no son lo mismo,
Que no es lo mismo el alma que la boca.

Inés, del templo en la imponente calma,
Por rendir culto a Dios, le infiere agravios:
Su rezo está en la boca, no en el alma...
¡La oración en el alma, no en los labios!

La dulce fe de sus primeros días
Mataron en Inés los desengaños,
Y hoy reza en alta voz Avemarías
Iguales: ¡ay! a las de aquellos años.

¿Qué son las tiernas frases de su boca?
Gritos que aturdirán su propio duelo...
Flores con que su afán cubre una roca
Coronada de témpanos de hielo.

Víctima de su gracia y su belleza,
Tiene Inés una historia de dolores.
Y recuerda su historia cuando reza,
Queriendo despertar tiempos mejores.

Rezando sin orar, en voz muy alta,
Ofende al templo del Señor, sagrado,
Pues pone allí, para encubrir su falta,
El rezo como escudo del pecado.

Es incrédula, y júzganla creyente;
Llena con falso culto el alma hueca,
Y así a la faz de Dios rezando miente,
Y el mundo ignora que rezando peca.

¡El mundo! Vedlo... toma como ejemplo
De santa unción a Inés que está llorando...
¿Ejemplo? Sí: de las que van al templo,
Hijas del mal, para pecar rezando.

¿Cómo ensalzar sus aparentes galas
De misticismo y devoción? -¡Del cielo
Es la oración, que, al agitar sus alas
Ni polvo ni rumor alza en el suelo!
Glenn Currier May 2019
Floating upon the waters
has been natural for me
on my wavy journey of faith
yet for most of my life I have been moored
to one or another church or spiritual dwelling
and there in the six directions
of the medicine wheel
or in mindful silence and meditation
I found solace and inspiration
and challenges to be a better man.

Born into the Roman church
from a mother whose tie to sanity
was her rosary
each bead a knot
and the chain her bond to the holy.

Novenas, prayers, litanies, and creeds
became the native tongue
taught when we were young
mysteries and sensory symphonies
of the rituals filled us to the brim
spilling dreams and designs
for a special future
ending in the Great Upthere.

But a destiny of storms
awaited me on my journey there
as I fled into a barren night
a zeal and appeal of career my light.

Now in the lateness of life
I am again moored in a church
in love with several humble followers
of Jesus the Christ there
songs and Word and wisdom fill the air.
And back home I have my own medicine woman of a wife
a five decade anchor of faith
a vessel and fiery heart full of love.

So here I am no longer floating
or boating from one port to another
my friends are dying and growing old
my body battered and heart weary
but I am alive, again brimming and often teary
for God has taken hold of me
Jesus who hounded me has tackled this old fool
and the Spirit has chiseled and shaped a jewel
tenderized my heart with his reckless love,
his overwhelming endless push and pull
and with his merciful Light has re-created and made me full.
Amiga que te vas:
quizá no te vea más.
Ante la luz de tu alma y de tu tez
fui tan maravillosamente casto
cual si me embalsamara la vejez.
Y no tuve otro arte
que el de quererte para aconsejarte.
Si soltera agonizas,
irán a visitarte mis cenizas.
Porque ha de llegar un ventarrón
color de tinta, abriendo tu balcón.
Déjalo que trastorne tus papeles,
tus novenas, tus ropas, y que apague
la santidad de tus lámparas fieles...
No vayas, encogido el corazón,
a cerrar tus vidrieras
a la tinta que riega el ventarrón.
Es que voy en la racha
a filtrarme en tu paz, buena muchacha.
nine days of prayer
ceaseless for you
as you transmute
Acme Apr 2020
I was Catholic from birth born with
  original sin and doomed to rosaries and
  Novenas and nuns, priests and confession.
  My guilt would tear God to pieces.
  Heaven would be empty and hell cool ash.
  Atheists would dance if they knew how.
Zealots still speak tongues with poison  snakes.
  Preachers would still make their fortunes.
Cancer is completely indifferent to 5K beat cancer runs
    and pink fight cancer ribbons and fervent prayers and
    candle lighting and novenas and incense and myrrh.
    Cancer has no hate or love for us. We're their Earth.

    Chemo wasn't a walk in the park nor walking on hot coals.
    "good days and bad". It was managed. The "cure" is ironic.
    Bring the patient near death. **** the cells, good and bad.
    Let the body recover and scan to look for dead tumors. :-)

    In Cancerville we all have ports to pump us with chemo.
    Pour in the heavy metals and Mustard gas derivatives.
    We all puke and **** accidentally. Think of your worst
    hangover times 10. Oddly we want to continue to live on.

    Time crawls at a snail's pace in Cancerville; wait and despair.
    MRI's and Scans and blood work. Expecting the worst always!
    Cancerville is a casino where you can only bet your life.
    It's a game of chance in Cancerville. Bets against the house.

— The End —