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Tina ford Feb 2014
This contains swearwords!!!!


Do you know what it’s like to be on the dole?
The giro, the social, the rock and roll,
Well I’m tellin you now, that it’s no laff,
No heat or food, round at my gaff,

I can’t pay the bills on fifty three quid,
This is how I live; I’m tellin ye kid,
No Lecky, or water, or comfy bed,
Nowhere to lay my educated head,

You’s think I’m brewsted on state benefit,
Well I’m tellin ye now, life is ****,
No jobs are goin in my town,
This whole ****** country is goin down,

I look every day for a job to do,
Over qualified under qualified, scew you,
I’d brush your path, deliver your dinner,
My options for work get thinner and thinner,

But we get the blame for the country’s debt,
And seen in your eyes as a useless get,
We are not scroungers and living like kings,
We can’t afford the simple things,

We can’t take our kids to Blackpool pier,
Or to the fair, it’s just too dear,
It’s not our fault the system let us down,
Schooling was crap, but I got a cap and gown,

So don’t look at me, like I’m ****,
I’ve bettered meself to get out of this pit,
I’m clever and proud and I stand tall,
I make something out of nothing, coz I’ve got **** all,

You won’t tread us down, yeah that’s right,
We got fire in our bellies and where ready to fight,
We’re not greedy for a fancy lifestyle.
The simple things make us smile,

So quit avin a go, at our worlds apart,
I’m scouse and proud, with a lions heart,
So live well in your mansion, apartment, or detached,
Coz were the generation that Maggie hatched,

Yeah that’s right were Maggie’s crew,
The under privileged, not like you,
Time to step up the Cameron’s and Clegg’s,
Coz you’ve sat long enough on Thatcher’s eggs.

Tina Ford
Phil Lindsey Jun 2015
I hate dull poems with no point
That makes no cents at all
I intend to laff it off and
Blame the alcohol.

Yes, Jaegar Bombz and Jello Sots
As far as i can tell,
Are fool fuel to propel my work
George Strait to Poem Hell.

I was gettin’ almost sober, SO
Had another Jaegar, and a beer (or two)
Lean closed to George and whispered in his ear
I’m here for a good time – juss like u

Yeah Iss country singin’ at is best
If u king n rite the kind that sell
But I get;n kinda sleepy
Stink my peom bombses swell.

SO moreally the story, if you right pomes wen yur drnuk
Beddter wate till til the mmornnimg lite
To post it post it post it tooo
That Hallowed Pomes site
LwP$@Qx)911 ^^(
the last couple were pretty serious, needed a laffer   ;-)
TD Rucker Jun 2012
Wht dos it mean
whn th trth apprs bfor u
an u wnt smthng tht doesn't wnt t b kpt.
Doesn't wnt t b hlpd.
Hope is falur b 4 falur.
U laff frm spite
wnt 2 fght
bt nv is ur lght
so to u dear
nd ur jkes
gd nght
jeremy wyatt Dec 2010
"Sit down, shut up and listen....
"Don't tell her that your feet,
start to glisten
and go clammy when you meet,
"And keep it to yourself,
that your desperate on the shelf,
and missin' (you know what),
so desperateleeee....

"So never let her know,
you've been lickin' her window,
never  tell her of your
trouble down belowwww..!"
"And if your feelings linger,
don't offer her your fingers -
here love have a  smell!
*******!

"As  for playing hard to get,
you may as well forget,
there's nae a lassie in the
toon so desperate!"
"But don't you start a-praying,
God will laff at what you're saying,
and send you down
to Satan for a pet".

"Now it does seem that is that,
you're a skinny Welshy ****,
you will hear it from
Scotswomen one and all
They will cut you down to size,
stick their fingers in your eyes,
and make a set of earrings from your *****!"

"The only chance you got,
is to study and to swot,
to practice every hour and every day.
And if it ****** fails,
you just polish up your nails,
and sing ok, I'll be a ****** gay!"
Hope to sing this with S + D on a thurs....
Richard Riddle Jun 2016
I received an invitation to go camping. An opportunity to:

"Commune with nature"

"Become, 'one'....... with the elements"
                             V
                             V
                             V
.                                        











  
"Waaa­hahahee-hee!, don't make me laff!-hahaha-hoho-hahahaa!!"



r.riddle 06-10-2016
Ken Pepiton Jul 2019
no new tricks, my fr'en' Jax, he say, you may learn.

did that happen to you? getting old,

did it happen for you?

did you make that happen?

In my youth, I aimed for an end,
then found life goes on
and I asked,
what haps
when you ask
super, but natural, forces,

wind and water, or
sun and soil to be in your favor?

It's like the movies, only you direct the action,

--- ah, rhett or rick,
give a ****, play it again, Sam I am
--- y'lost this trick,
--- this old man came rolling home,
(Sisyphus gimme a shove, from the top)

See ya,
in the funny papers, yeah,
we said that.
wayback when Krazy Kat was gay.


yes ,oh, no, you lost it all.
Life past,

you failed to pay attention,
you ignored the
ignorance growning around you,
as you aged
full of grace, accepting today
as the starting point.

from here you can see forever,
pay attention,
ever learning, never learning
ever

ever, ever, ever this
last bit of what can be known

lost on the info-super-highway that
Al Gore used to make global
warming seem like

some new thing. Old men who paid
attention
never fretted. We remember polio

and marching dimes giving hope a
booster shot on a sugar cube,

love being more than a four rune symbol,
we used to wake
merry boat rowers who believed,
as they were told,
life is a dream to
dread getting old in.

Hear, ol Adam Clayton Powell laff'n'say
"Keep the faith, Baby" then choke on all
the lies he left for a legacy.
He died, maybe never knowin'

what magi know of faith these days.
make note, young dreamer,
Magi and magic shall never be unlinked.
row
row
row, or turn around and flow.
Jax ***** inspired this. Today, all my children and grands are around me, and I am an older man than yesterday, watching a sunrise no man has seen befor me.
Yo tdogg, ya know what I'm about to, oh, jam on that *****,
Yeah my heads been loose, troubles cleaned with the goose,
Gray day, mayday mayday, always see a payday cuts by klay,
Thompson, always into somethin, catch the 10s bumpin,
DVDs with the 30 TVs, in my Benzie caught many frenzies,
In the clutch, doubt dutch, what thefuck is going on,
Yo all went wrong, so I gotta play the sad song, funeral home
From the black and silver chrome, now ya buried alone,
In the center zone, earth's now ya manger, faced with danger,
Ever since I seen a stranger, all facts no fiction, crucifixion,
Mayne listen, devils had me by my neck, close to hells kitchin,
Dodge the pitchin, of a heater, slide out home Derek Jeter,
Clean cut with the Caesar, lyrically I beat em all, rise to downfall,
Like the sunrise to sunset, shut down empty threats, so much regret,
Beggin, from my foes on they toes,expose armageddon,
Ain't no letting, up my guns see slash for fun, yo I'm bringing 'em
Catch the runs, ***** dripping, diarrhea style, from da rippin,
Mics crushed like Pippen, yo stay slamming them I'm dipping,
Out the scene,mad machine, mean as Gene, can you see the beam,
From the flash light,souls shining like a million lights,
Gass that, pass that, lyrical content I blass that,haters maskthat,
Hide ya face, what a disgrace, catch the cans of mase, oven
Tough loving, smooth hovering, ghost in the flesh, test
Ya will, you ain't got the heart to ****,yo I'm so real,
MJ thrills, from the bumps of my jeep you'll feel,blood spill,
See his body windmill, thrown in the Hoffa fields, stone cold deals,
Haters better chill, **** bout to get real, man ya steel,
I'm handy as randy, savage like my girls sweeter than candy,
On the hunt, like bonnie **** and stunny, now ya runny,
Bloods I bleed that, cant count that, money in too many racks,
I bomb with flows, octane remains, the highest in *******,
Prices, spit the nicest, flex the Lexus the hypest, who out ripe us,
Plus,the guns is a must, the reign cant stop mayne, flex the range,
Rove word to domino, put that on my nino, word to pastor Jenno,
I see more notes than Ben franklin, got em blanking, shankin,
Mack daddies, caddies 70s long body, move like an Audi,
Engineers these reindeer, games light my flame,my names  
Golden, chosen like the purest calf, these suckas make me laff,
Master my craft, of many of sweet nones, *** weighs a ton,
Still number one, public enemy sons, scope thru the media dons,
Used to wanna feel like Hollywood, Chaka khan and I'm gone,
**** songs, is what I do,freestyle near a theater, or a hood near you,
I spin too, donuts peelin', three sixty wheelin', shake heavens ceiling,
Keep the block hot, without touching spots, it dont stop,
Top ten gallon hat, while I'm in the stinkin' Lincoln, girls blinkin,
Cuz I'm looking so fly, ostrich seats, with the baddest beats,
Naw ya cant compete,I complete the madness that sweeps,
Like a broom, let off the scent ya perfume, up in the zoom,
See the vultures, pecking at ya skull culture, violence ultra,
Kin to the styles of capone, black Italian mafioso, oh so,
Clever, however I'll still endeavor, money over riches, kiss this,
Felix watches, catch the blotches, on ya spotless, for goodness,
Sakes, watch for the jakes, on the break, for hells sake,
I'm guarding even my own wake, see my funeral, with criminals,
Wild style, tiny gs to youthful juveniles, dont cry now,
Just shed a gun, blast itat the sun, so I feed my holy ones, cons
Cant step to the real reaper, let my wings fly by, now im in ya eye,
Stimulate fear, like its last day here, dark images will appear,
Hovering over the sinful lands, plot the plans, soul stand,
Amongst the loss, city of peasants, slave become pleasant,
But I'm the master waking up the presence, futures past,
Check the blast, dock ya by the rivers, once I delivers,
Magic, make em tragic, zipped the plastic,I'm  a *******,
Daddy should of had meplastered, bed sheet ruckus, ****** us,
Now I'm rushing hours like Chris Tucker, *******,
Derivatives my narrative, gangsta, so the check the carriages,
I laid on, many girls hyped up, when they hear the songs,
This brother stay flexing, nesting,my chariots at the Marriott,
Hoes loving it, exquisite,  watch the foes kiss it, gun mystics,
Class touch, like Melle mel, on the cell, ring the liberty bells, Marvelled the marvelles, always excel,
Never see jails, no story tales, take ya on a shipment, that never fails, dressed with the purple sales,
Growing on ya mind like nails, untouched check the dutch,
Not much,you can do, once I come through, ****** as a piru,
Shoot you, now ya see through, my villains will bleed you,
Evil loves to take a stab, mismatch vocab, see me up on the lab, caught cab, caravan of a goetia strand,
Never been a fan, of fake *******, ride out the glitches, riches
Pitches, sugar pie honey buns, yo big yosef signing ya puns,
niann smith May 2021
tremors are so embarrassing. normally I have to drink coffee with a straw because I can't hold the cup without spilling it, but my cousins didn't have a straw, so they gave me a spoon, BUT WHEN I PICK UP A TINY BIT OF COFFEE WITH A SPOON I STILL SHOOK SO HARD IT SPILLED. so I had to steal a straw from a capri sun but couldn't pick up the cup even drinking with a straw because my tremors were especially bad that day, so I sat on the floor and just. hovered over my coffee cup to drink it. one of my cousins said sorry for laughing and I was like no it's fine because it Truly is a laff living like this x
Personal
Ryan O'Leary Jan 2020
No chopstic on table
Kim eat with finger
make sign to waiter
like he say to Trump.

Ha ha, I No 1 terrorist
now, Suleimani die.

Korea keep nuke
make more ha ha

everybody laff

Kim big smile eyes

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