*** tak ta tuci pregnant bi ** gaye hone
thuhanu kuj ni pata ehna thoughts naal kini fatdi he
dil daily karda he ki thuhdae office de samne aawa
te ake dekha u nu
but control kr lenda ha kisi na kisi tarah
daily raat nu 2 mint kharar bus stand te ruk ke janda ha,
ki thuhade ghar wal nu jawa ya na jawa.
dil ena krda ki shyad chatt te tuci khade howe te me dekh lawa
but fer dimag kenda chad rehn de dilla.
kyu tang krna us nu
oh kushi kushi apni life spend kr rahi he
ta usdi life kyu spoil krni

Yaar I want to see you.
fati hoi a meri
thuhanu bilkul bi fikar ni andi?
ki kiwe reh reha hona me?
daily ronda ha
daily yaad andi he thuhadi.
But serioulsy u r stone heart
kash me bi ban jawa dubara ewe da
pehla changa bhalwa ban gea c
jado jalandhar to bad breakup hoea c
*** sala pata nai ki ** gea
us time bi 6-8 months lagge c recovery lai
but is time sala ** hi nai reha
menu bi dasdo ewe da ki kara me
ki bhul jawa u nu
jiwe tuci bhul gaye

@@
! !
! !

Heena, me bhulna chanda ha thuhanu
Jiwe tuci bhul gaye ** menu
Me pathar dil banna chanda ha
Jiwe tuci ban gaye **
Me sachin yaad nai krna chanda thuhanu

But ** nai pa reha, jinni koshish krda
Uniya gallan yaad andiya

Sala 5 phase wale park ne dimag khrab kita hoea

I hate u, sachi i hate u.
Thuhanu bhenchod nu koi fikar nai
Te me edar ewe mari ja reha
Ewe sadi ja reha

*** yaad bi kitho aau
Mere nalo *** ke pyar karan wala jo
Mil gea thuhanu

Bhen di lun ehi gal ne dimag
Khrab kita hoea

Jawa Barat, Malam ke-22.

Diantara sela sela dini hari;
Diantara lantai kayu, atap lapuk, dan dinding rotan,
Aku merindukanmu.

the english: they're peasants, but still deem themselves as speaking as: pheasants; they even dare to tickle the assurance of peacocks! **** me, shakespeares the whole lot of them? not with a geordie / cockney accent you ain't, you right ol' worth of bollocking worth of ****! that's the problem with english peasants, they all suddenly think they have the surname... Windsor! **** me, i've never met a bigger crap-eating-****-loading-people in my life! they don't even have the tenacity to be pedantic about their language being pristine: as long as it remain in slang... ah... all's fine matey! but the annoying bits of a people start to shine through... they're not the ******* ROY-AL inbreeding tact of a people deserving crown and carriage... plebs! i'm the same sort of peasant you are... but **** me, better check next time if you catch me playing on addressing airs!*

kraj, i te słowa,
i to tyle:
co ma znaczyć;
reszta?
  angola:
        blah blah,
i twoje badanie
gzymsu -
- czekać:
       by coś spadło.
bogini gniewu
nie zna słowa: przebacz;
mówi:
  przebacze kiedy:
zapomne;
węc? puki pamiętam,
ani nie kocham,
   ani nienawidze,
ani obliguje mnie zmuszenie
by wynagrodzić jedno
pierwszym: drugim,
czy też drugim: pierwszym
zwane to podobno "to samo".

Jawa Timur, Malam ke 22.

Diantara sela-sela lampu kota Madiun; Diantara suara bising motor, diantara kelap-kelip kelab malam, dan diantara gelapnya malam.

Sungguh, dimanakah kita jika masih bersama?
Sungguh, pengecut mana yang berani mengungkapkan kesalahanya?
Sungguh, dimanakah cinta saat kita berdua membutuhkanya?

Kamu; Perempuan cantik yang terdiam diantara langit dan segala keindahanya, tersenyum sendiri saat melihat luasnya lautan selat jawa diatas kapal yang membawamu ke Jakarta.

Aku; Laki-laki biasa yang terdiam diantara bukit-bukit kecil di gelapnya malam ini, tersenyum sendiri saat melihat gemerlap lampu-lampu kecil tersebar dibawahnya.

Kita; Terpisah beribu-ribu kilometer diantara laut dan bukit di negara ini, tersenyum sendiri saat merasakan hal yang sama.

Bercinta tanpa harus mengeluarkan kata.

i had to wait for gaming to evolve: right now, the only evolution to speak of is the evolution of technology, which has exponential growth: the world around me burns and i burn with it, ingesting a liter of alcohol a day not knowing when to stop: is it painful: am i getting indigestion, heart-burns: yes... but i'm also more alive because of it: i'm not some wanderer, restless nomad with barbiturates: i understand alcohol: Nietzsche didn't... but i don't blame him... but gaming is so much more with the advent of the internet: now i can replenish my thirst for chess with Mech- -Arena ++, it is an imitation of chess it is vamped up chess... i get to orientate my ego, i get to sooth my ego in the abstract, beyond the reality of biology, i can fuse my background in chemistry and hope: to understand: but knowledge doesn't breed hope: understanding comes from hope but knowledge comes from fear... i understand and therefore hope: but i never quiet know whether there's any good to get involved for... but that spiral is a chaos whispering... i want to suckle at the beckoning: i want to speak a language on the border between sea and earth and earth and air: and air and water: and air and fire... i want you pluck my own eye out and give it unto you: dear Archetype: father... how gaming has changed: i was told to be resolute in not finding a PS2 instead settling on a PS1 console plugging it into the t.v.: but now the mobile reconstruction: it almost feels like a ***** colony with people aging to 70 exponentially straining the expected life frequency... are we talking the possibility of philosophy being not bound to youth? are we simply saying: philosophy owns up to old age is old age the new glorified gatekeeping strength of mundane experiencing: this blunt knife is no longer sharp... am i supposing a hammer ought to be sharp to nail nails in: am i speaking of spokes: those skeletal necessities of a bicycle wheel?

before the Hebrews and Jahweh came
to Poland:
it's a strange ordeal of think about it...
but before they came with
YHWH
there was a word: prior to the name of
their god
and in the mouths of the people of
the fields...
JAWA:   in English that's YAVA...
there's no need to implore the H to command
the vowels...
JW                  signature...
google translate just spews out jawa: as java...
it's not dzawa:
na jawie: on waking: awake...

   yavye...
                     i understand now...
no one is going to have a reasonable
conversation with me...

i can stand accused of speaking to her
while falling asleep...
also timid also slightly drunk
also testing marijuana
and that's just lazy...
but at least she's just rummaging
in her everyday and i'm in bed
this 11h time difference referential
is punishing...

before YHWH came to Poland
there was the concept of consciousness
known as the JAWA...
YAVA...
not job to rob whales of:
strange creatures:
mammalian: prone to cult like suicide
pacts getting themselves
beached...
don't you think the whales are sort of saying:
the seas are boiling
we need to find our godhead
and get the **** out of this *******...
i feel that...
i don't intend to stay in England
for much longer:
England is not my BORN & BRED
i don't feel welcome:
i want to live in the kingdom of the oceans
on an island:
i want to live among Polynesians...
i want to ingest their tribal mentality
their tribal scrutiny their tribal security
of authority of loyalty of honor
i want to live among the Polynesians...
i'm going to do it:
even if before that i don't get my driving license
and sober up...
to raise: not my daughter:
my a child is still a child so...
i don't want to live among this bastardized
anti-racist pseudo-Europeans
these cuckold **** suckers!
i don't want to live among these people...
****** sandpit:
i'm taking my vocabulary and ******* off
into the sunset:
and even if that's the last thing i do
i know i'm stalling and assassinating myself
by a default of failing:
but then i'm also a fan of a quasi soap-opera
like i'm a big fan of opera and
especially a fan of ****** opera:
i love a ****** opera:
the type of opera that makes me leave
disgruntled like a phantom and saying:
nein nein nein benign!

thank you English: but i picked this language
for my own sake
it was nothing to be mediated
or explored with for the good of the people
who originated with it:
we can talk politics but we won't talk
politico:

a great wind came and swept me away...
my forefathers dreamed about
******* off to America:
well... i'm wanting to ******* way past
America:
i'll be saying hello and goodbye
while i enter the realm, the dimension,
the strict mental blockade of water with
the Polynesians...
these beyond the measure of the attitude
of the Mongols:
these former Taiwanese oar men
like vikings... hmm similitude...
what's a good broth of a soup on the islands
should you need soup?
so the base would be some meat:
carrots... **** no carrots that grow in the sea...
leeks... potatoes...
celeriac...    young celery stalks...
o.k. workable: not doable though...

**** me: the wicked talk of border-control:
on a ******* island...
you'd almost think if someone whispered
to ******: wait wait...
how about we invade England
by digging a tunnel...
but dwarf technology and innovation
was never part of the quick premature *******
mentality of the Nazis:
cheats... if they only waited and someone
said to them...
pst... hush hush:
let's dig a tunnel... rather than terrorize
from the air...
then again: why did they just drop bombs
avoiding St. Paul's cathedral...
why not just drop a bunch of hulkish manly
Aryan men into the mix?
clearly that wasn't the plan
because i don't know what the English feminine
is since i've been ostracized
and thank **** that i will never **** an English
woman: these days
exponent of foul mouth and neck tattoos
and something a Pakistani **** gang develops
a taste for...
well at least the Romanian prostitutes...
but **** is such a bad taste in a mouth wanting
violence...
how can you: ugh... unimaginable...
but i'm happy: to have lived in England
for... donkey's count of years and never actually
having ****** an English girl...
the grey skies ought to be turning blue at some point:
maybe if i was less able
maybe a Hapsburg jawline...
maybe my teeth are rotten:
maybe my father was right when he said:
are you are hunchback?
i'd return to him and say:
let me find out... but i'll need to fly over to
Hawaii to find out... i'll get back to you...

it almost felt like i was screaming into the night
when it fact i was having *******
explaining the importance of *******
on a man...
i have no respect for circumcised men:
in that i have no respect for the tradition
that thinks that circumcising men
will somehow keep the concept of monogamy
intact...
yes:
baby: i'll get circumcised: aesthetic?
no: i was thinking i'd get circumcised after you
put a ring on this finger...
so that i am no longer able to pleasure
myself:
so i did say: dream talk, borderline:
because i talk in my sleep i want to find
the person who talks falling asleep:

didn't i say that you can do one better
than giving me a *******?
didn't i say: kiss me while ******* me?
isn't that what *** ought to be:
something to work with
a transcendental conversation
a language barrier missing
just gone...
you kiss me while jerking me off
i'm pretty sure you don't have to ****
on that tool...
but that's a prerequisite of the *******:
******* sand-******* and their *****: ugh!
how about we cut the lips off
so that the smile might be more prominent?
it won't be a Chelsea grin:
but a Kenyan oopsie!
still showing teeth? barren *******...
and these are the people that are the spearheads
of all civilization? **** me...
but the ******* is so precious...
it's like that poisonous **** mentality
of inbreeding and the fetish for anti-pig...
what's wrong with the pig
what's the point of glorifying cow
when you know you can eat red
meat because the chances of ingesting parasites
from raw steak are so slim?!
cluck cluck cluck-oh-ooh!
chicken farts... blurp:        now i will have
my berserker fun!
   but i know how to contain alcohol: so i can
talk *** and not permit myself
to feeding off violence:
because i believe that the best sort of ***
is: an imitation of violence: contained...
measured:
deliberated: kept in strict of confines of
dialogue: beyond any measure:
attempted by Socrates...

so before Jahweh and his He-brew crew found
their way to the odd sanctuary of
Poland where: i guess because the Poles
defended the last pilgrims of the winds
that were the Lithuanians... the last pagans of
Europe:
well: besides the Prussians who inverted
what wasn't Germanic...
come to think of it: the best way to digest
history is by treating is like a comic book script:
write the words:
the images come later...
so then the Hebrews came to Poland
(how the **** did they get there,
i don't ******* know)
it's almost mythical in the stance of: huh?
so many of them?

the moment i hear one Jew tell me about
the Polish collaboration with the Nazis:
it took...
**** Germany, Soviet Russia...
and the Slovaks to invade Poland...
and it took them... 2 weeks...
it took the same amount of time if not less
for only **** Germany to invade France...
*******...

yeah: well: some probably did:
but last time i heard...
there are more Polish names on the hall of flame
fame... flame... whatever somewhere
in Jerusalem...
but yo: you still circumcised!
i could understand doing a van Gogh's ear
but if these are the people we sow
to find spiritual guidance:
no wonder i'm hearing of Wōðanaz:
woovanaz...
  that's: ð of the
              and not the ᚠ of thought...

                   i think Nietzsche predicted he was
moving outside the Germanic realm
and into the Slavic realm by crying out:
i'm Polish! i'm Polish!
apparently "we" are the French of the Slavic people...

oh the brute:
that Malachi was so wrong: Malachi 4:5...
reincarnation goes against all the supposed
superiority logic of monotheism!
reincarnation of either Jesus or Elijah are
horrendous grievances against man's commitment
to monotheism!
it would have been best
to astound the world with the atheism
of China or the polytheism of India
than to succumb to this constipated and
circumcision frenzy mind ****!
cut an ear off! cut a ****** off!
how these people are not considered as bad
as the Pigme and the cannibals
who sharpen their teeth without having
any maulers i will never want to know!
how about cutting a toe off?
the ******* phallus aesthetic improved:
again!
if you want to truly fathom an unbreakable
bond of monogamy like
an imitation of swan... go for it:
sure thing gurl:
i'll snippet my hand movements off
when you decide to put a ring on this finger...
until then?
nein nein nein!

so now a circumcised **** and donning
the kippah is something of an elevated status?
outside the realm of a somewhat sensible
secularism:
at one point i didn't actually consider
myself a leftist liberal...
or rather a liberal:
but since i've aged i'm just agitated
about conservation projects...
beside wanting to be a gardener: in thought alone...
notably when you read:
oh thoughts are just thoughts
and actions speak louder than words
and words are no carriers of meaning...
actions:
hmm: so you would better understand
if i punched you in the face?
that's what it has culminated into:
words are not carriers of meaning...
spoken as a true dyslexic...
but images are ******* mesmerizing!
images convey meaning: words don't...
well then...
it only feels appropriate to speak
that sign language of a clenched fist:

                             clearly... what else is there?
but i shouldn't worry:
i hope to not live in England come October...
if i'm not on Kauai by December
then at least i'll be dead.

Jad bi koi chude wali langdi kol di
Me tenu labda ude wich
Sochda shyad kite tera face dikh jawe
Bada tadap reha ha tenu dekhan lai
Photo nai dekhni
Samne ake dekhna
Ena jyada tadap reha ki puch na
Par tenu ta *** koi fark ni penda
Tahi keh kr ***
Ki u will regret for life
Kiwe a jawa samne eh gal sunke

Swer de 4 wajan wale ne
Nd me ki kar reha
Sirf thuhade ware soch reha
Pata nai ki chL reha he life wich
Tang ** gea ha
Dimag kehnda bhul ja us nu kanjra
Par dil kehnda ehi ta meeth meetha dard he, jo naal rehna he

Me cha ke bi bhula nai pa reha
Me chanda ha ki bhul
Jawa
Par nai ** pa reha.

Sala jad dekho u da te u de husabnd da mind wich a janda
Ki tuci us naal
Kush **, me kushi naal koi problem nai, me chanda ki hamesha kush raho
Par mera dil man hi nAi reh
Haje bi thuhade wal nu ja reha
Menu sachi samj nai anda me ki kra

I seriously want to move on, but samj nai a reha kiwe

Last time nalo bi jyada ikha is baar

Me mar jawa
Tenu meri koi khabar na lage,
Tu menu labdi rAhe
Te tenu meri qabar na mile

the following poems are precursors to
what became a sleep-deprivation
thought experiment:

   - crown of myrrh / c'est la vie!
   - coming to december
   - hydry jawa (hydra's consciousness)
   - misery humour...

at first there's only the subjective observation,
but that is soon followed by
an undeniable objective fact - that:

these poems were written in frustration
at not being able to solve
    the times' (15th november 2017)
súdokū puzzles no. 9455 (difficult)
and no. 9456 (fiendish) -

out of a mere subjective account,
   i found my body dulled by a seeminngly
perpetual sleep,
            not morose, or numbed,
disorientated, but somehow muted.

my reaction was obvious:
  you need to be sleep-deprived -
the actual thought experiment happened
rather unexpectedly...

what i found the following incident is
that, in rare conditions,
   sleep-deprivation can allow the mind
to transcend a regular pattern of
sleep-rest, and engage in sleep-deprivation
overdrive...

        i only have one decent proof...
but it's a **** good one...
  
hours of being constantly awake?
      since 7pm yesterday...
   from 7pm today, at quarter past
10pm, that's: 27 hours 15 minutes...

   the times 20th november 2017
súdokū puzzle no. 9467 (fiendish) -
  and the proof is the solution, completed
in under 10 minutes:

          6 2 5 9 4 8 1 3 7
          9 7 3 1 2 5 8 4 6
          8 4 1 3 7 6 9 5 2
          3 5 9 7 6 1 4 2 8
          7 8 4 5 3 2 6 1 9
          2 1 6 8 9 4 5 7 3
          5 6 8 2 1 7 3 9 4
          1 9 7 4 8 3 2 6 5
          4 3 2 6 5 9 7 8 1

the actual answer to puzzle no. 9467
will only be available in
the times 21st november 2017
  t2 supplement, and if in desperation
you can only receive four clues
before midnight...
               but i'm cheap,
  can't be bothered to pay 75 pence
+ network access charge...
  for four numbers,
     when the ******* phone number
consists of eleven numbers.

believe me, i never thought that
sleep-deprivation, as a thought experiment
could achieve a lucidity of mind that
the otherwise sleep-recovery sometimes
merely dulls the mind...
notably via the dream fabric;

not so long ago i found dreams to be
exhausting,
        very much like the iron curtain -
they bugged me...
   intellectually depraved -
                     this velum somnium,
just like the velum ferrum spawned
the cold war, psychological warfare,
false information, distortions,
     exports of a "utopia" having been
established, nonsense of every calibre...
      no communist thought it was utopia,
but some people on the other side
of the iron grip must have thought so...
  or were subverted into thinking it was so...
hence the end result:
   the current zeitgeist.

Do you know what is the biggest poision?
It’s “regret”

Thuhadi yaad khai ja rahi menu andro di
Me wife naal
Hoke bi usde naal nai
Me u bare sochi janda
Ap dowa de moments yaad ande
doaba de moments yaad a jande

Pata nai kiwe sakoon milu menu

U da address pata krna koi waddi gal nai
Bus me pata nai krna chanda
Me nai chanda tuci hor dukh jhalo mere krke
Pehla hi bade made time wicho nikle ** mere krke
Te *** mera time he us time wicho niklan da
Waheguru kre me nikal
Jawa is time wicho

Kinni bhulan di koshish
Kar reha ha me,
Par sala bhulea
Hi nai ja reha.
Ki kara ki bhul jawa
Thuhanu?

Tuci menu koi tip hi dedO,
Jiwe tuci bhul gaye,
Uwe me bi bhul jau
Easily.

ditinggal karena kesedihan
####ditinggal karena kelaparan
MACAN JAWA, tuhan TIDAK PERNAH MEMIHAKMU.

Missing u badly heena ji
Na tadpao please ena
Ki me kuj galt kr jawa