I've known heights, aimed like a bullet
to the top of the head.

Forbidden songs, jagging
placid landscapes.

Waterblood waterbone --
my body cries out to me.

How long the abuse, how long!

In the barreled pit of my sober life
up from common sense--snapping into it,
my soul came alive.
Alive I say!

By grace I breached.
Free in the wind!

Kingdoms of water, alive kingdoms --
hear now the words of my tears.

Mea Culpa!

I slam on the brakes, tear off the roofs
of steel compartments.

I see sky and feel in daylight every hidden star.
I declare -- the emperor of death
has no clothing.

I scatter forgiveness
across all the fattened streets.

Oceans of me are singing.
A spinning angels' symphony.

Over the graves of ancestors,  I vow:

Water, I shall love you.
I shall speak up, shall protect you.

I shall fight for you and die
if I must.

Ten times ten give my very life
-- that you live.

Susana means lily of the valley.
Shoshanna, curled petals for hair and a bridged nose,
pollen specked and running.
I was named for Abuelita Susana,
she was a leather belt and anti-semite,
stinging my dad with welts until adulthood.
Abuela did not mean her name
until her stem shook down to dementia.
curled petals for a mind, bridged heart,
pollen specked and waning.
The only thing she remembered
was her grandson and a record player
and Chiquitita.
I am not like her.
She was harpooned, jagging,
never the lily of the valley.
I am glad I have a chance to redefine Susana.
A lily in a valley
of infinite Susana’s.

jutting and jagging
the looming grey monument
caps nature's crown

i could write a novel in your silence
a story of sharp colors, cut clean to the bone
with a saturated happy that drenched our lone souls

maybe a story of hope, slowly pricking down my back
jagging over and over at the last pieces intact

or sadly a story of hunger, craving each fulgent pattern
until love dissipated into our indulgent clatter

your silence is my slow death
i suffocate in each thought you left