Do you ever wake up,
With your lungs bruised?
Because you couldn't breathe-
I can't ******* breathe.
You're not next to me,
You're not there,
And it's like my chest just recognized this.
They start hyperventalating
One collapses.
But if you were next to me,
I'd give you the rest of it-
My air.
This isn't love this is torture
But as of now- there is no difference

I dreamt of you
The other night
Of the last day
We had.
I remember feeling
Anxious all day.
Feeling as though
My skin was crawling.
My chest so tight
I could not breathe.
Hyperventalating.
Panicked with no cause.
I was utterly
Terrified.
And I chalked it up
To just being me.
But
Later that night
At 0305 they called me
"You may want to come."
I got there at 0325
"I'm so sorry."
"He's gone isn't he?"
That look of sorrow
She gave me,
I knew.
I couldn't feel you.
At 0319 may 27th 2018
You were gone.
And all of the panic
The fear
It made sense
I felt you leaving me.

At night I can't sleep
Even if I count sheep
Tossing and turning
But all I feel is the pain that is hurting
You had me believing I was the one for you
I told you nothing but the truth
I had my issues of letting people in from before
So I don't know how you got through that door
And the same door you came in from
You decided to turn around and walk out of
For you, I tried to give everything
For you, I would've done anything
I gave you all of my time
You where my light with a special shine
So now here I am with nothing left to give
And it's starting to feel so hard to live
It's hard to breathe
But I hide it all underneath
With a smile on my face to cover up my lies
Hyperventalating at night with tears in my eyes
It's like it was a dream and I just woke up
Maybe I just wasn't good enough