Seventeen I Was ! Much  Stupid To Be Called Sane ! Yes like every other girl I too had a dream world where I was “Marzi Ki Mallika” the very thought of being matured haunted me & being a teenager you just can’t avoid the driving crazy adrenaline rush that you get when you fantasise stuff of being in love. My fantasies resulted in prettily adorable pieces of poems and bits of stories where A Boy fell in love with A Girl. I had dated my dreams since forever & it was amazing & what justifies this statement of mine is that they never disappoint ! talking to people knowing stories making new friends and sharing memories with old one’s that was indeed perfect to me ! I always tried to describe that perfectly adorable moment of falling in love in the best possible way I could fantasise ! Not too soon I realized that moment cannot be emphasised !

THAT MOMENT IS A CAPTURED MEMORY

Turned 23 Yay ! Loads Of Birthday Presents ! Wishes ! Hearty Felicitations ! etc etc 6 years passed since then & I remained the same still much stupid to be called sane ! Maa smiles while she still wakes me up in the morning saying Kobe Boro Hobi (when will you grow up). I giggle and hug her knowing not when !! I see the beautiful stock of my soft toys which helped me remain childish when suddenly my mirror reported about how messy my hair was ! OH GAWED maaa… my instant reaction was !

I was told love happens when matured ! I herd the same but fortunately dared not to believe ! Th0 I knowingly knew that dating a girl like me a guy will have to fall in love with my messed up stuff he needs to constantly date my love for 3a.m coffee & my craziness for maggi accompanied with coke ! My idiotic obsessions with vampire & songs of Nusrat & Kishore & perhaps tolerate the constant humming of those part of songs which I loved ! Questioned my self quiet frequently about will my love accompany me while I trek through the mighty mountains will he accompany me in my best moments of life will he even accept me the way I am !?? such questions did nothing but made me fall asleep which ended up in GOOD MORNINGS with Bournvita !

Usual mornings and unusual days thereafter ! mobile rings I ran to pick up the call it was none other than my beloved going to be husband AASHIQ

Good morning ! come lets plan out something crazy  ! Adrenaline rush  What About A Trek At Ladakh ! Readily agreeing to the proposal I said yes ! We drove together as I discovered his playlist matched mine ! with each passing moment I got the answers to much awaited stupid questions ! while I was unanswerable to his lone question why I had smiled while he drove ! We got down  amidst green surroundings   he picked up a piece of sugarcane and nervously began to chew on it as he was humming one of my favourite songs, He looked at me like I was the only **** thing that’ll ever matter to him looking constantly into my eyes he blurred out ILOVEYOU&WANTTOMARRYYOU;

I always valued crazy memories but this was the craziest one perhaps ! I started laughing unwantedly pointing at his face ! His front tooth had broken! He had been trying to be a stud only to impress me he tried to peel the sugarcane with his teeth & somehow ended up loosing the bottom part of his front incisor !

I Blushed later ! My face betrayed two expressions – Amusement & Shyness !

I Fell In Love Unknowingly Without A Parachute ! much madness was added when I couldn’t resist saying ILOVEYOU

His eyes met mine with a sparkle of mischief  AKHO AKHO ME PYAR HOGAYA

Committed !  Not Confused !

Start Of A New Journey Hands In Hands We Start Our Trek ! !

I don't want a "friend"
I don't want to get ****** in the end
I don't want your shoulder
I want something colder
I want someone to pretend to "be there"
But in all actuality not even begin to care
No, I don't need a ******* hero
I just want a neutral , unawkward place to go
I really don't want your opinions or your advice
Tho, I'm sure I've numerous flaws for you to chastise
I don't care to see things from your point of view
I want fun, fake, I want flippant for now
I don't want you to  really listen to a **** thing I say
Because I don't want your theories to get in the way
I don't want your hopes and dreams explained to me
I just want someone to humor me for Gawds sake
Please do not try and understand or analyze me
I'd  be much more comfortable, if you just use and abuse me
You know, someone to really kick me while I'm down
Drag my tired *** around, you know, something physical
I'm so numb, many believe Me to be unemotional
I no longer stand to correct them
Hell, at least  they've something to believe in
Inflict harm upon me
Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?
I don't want your Gawed ****** empathy or you to
"Feel my pain"
Can't you hear me? I want you to be the very source of my pain
I want someone I can blame
Someone who doesn't give a **** all the same
I want you to look away, walk away, stay the **** away
You to, can pretend my inner psyche is not at all in disarray
No, I don't want a caring or understanding touch
Jesus! I am not asking for all that much
I don't want you to give me your heart
I really don't want any part
All I want is a sympathetic acquaintance
Doesn't that make sense?


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