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"flanneled" poems
They're piled in an Amazon box of almost never- (that is, all not-quite not-ever- but sometimes twice- and most often a mere once-) worn clothes destined for another, bigger green metal box proclaiming itself charitably fashioned for such donations as these nearly pristine shirts, jeans and sweaters that have only those holes their makers intended but still lack the want I've wasted for arms, legs and torso to fill them. What they don't have is shabby stitches or those counterfeit claims mocking a public thread-lust for luxury labels, but they are mild misfits of the well-meant gift or of my poor-choice selection and they carry an ill-suited look, whether it's fleeced too loose and loud, or flanneled too bold and blousy, or otherwise woolly with any too fuzzy je ne sais quoi that puts me off. Too's had grown too many as if the clothes bred while tucked in nice 'n cozy at backs of drawers rarely drawn or stacked sleepy on the bottom of a closet's clutter-topped shelf, and if proved it would be a miracle on par with Christ's gospel-touted cloning of the loaves and fishes, but it's not, so I can't compare my parlor-trick sharing of two dozen hand-me-downs carelessly passed-on to his magic of multitudinous feeding. After all, the real comparison is, I could have accomplished even more than this speculative giving, had I been retrospectively better in my retroactive accounting and made the significantly less sinful omission of never (not just once or twice, but actuarially quite not-ever) accumulating so much always not-needed, however tasteful, stuff.
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May 11, 2010
May 11, 2010 at 8:59 PM UTC
Checking My Box of Almost Never
They're piled in an Amazon box of almost never- (that is, all not-quite not-ever- but sometimes twice- and most often a mere once-) worn clothes destined for another, bigger green metal box proclaiming itself charitably fashioned for such donations as these nearly pristine shirts, jeans and sweaters that have only those holes their makers intended but still lack the want I've wasted for arms, legs and torso to fill them. What they don't have is shabby stitches or those counterfeit claims mocking a public thread-lust for luxury labels, but they are mild misfits of the well-meant gift or of my poor-choice selection and they carry an ill-suited look, whether it's fleeced too loose and loud, or flanneled too bold and blousy, or otherwise woolly with any too fuzzy je ne sais quoi that puts me off. Too's had grown too many as if the clothes bred while tucked in nice 'n cozy at backs of drawers rarely drawn or stacked sleepy on the bottom of a closet's clutter-topped shelf, and if proved it would be a miracle on par with Christ's gospel-touted cloning of the loaves and fishes, but it's not, so I can't compare my parlor-trick sharing of two dozen hand-me-downs carelessly passed-on to his magic of multitudinous feeding. After all, the real comparison is, I could have accomplished even more than this speculative giving, had I been retrospectively better in my retroactive accounting and made the significantly less sinful omission of never (not just once or twice, but actuarially quite not-ever) accumulating so much always not-needed, however tasteful, stuff.
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I sleep on sheets covered in beer and carry boxes of bottles to the trash room, boxes and sheets and smells that could get me in trouble with the people who wear uniforms And I put my head on the shoulder beside me and everything is sweat and stale alcohol and three am and I was supposed to do more homework tonight. I was supposed to get more done and go to bed so much earlier. But here I am, tired and lying beneath Kenyan blankets, atop Blue Moon covers, lightly taking your phone off your chest and setting it away as you slip into sleep beside me Here I am, bringing you trash bags I bought with my own money, carrying a box of illegalities I didn’t drink to the recycling, leaning into your flanneled embrace in the Sunday morning quiet of the hallway I will take care of you, no questions asked I will always take care of you Before sleep’s waves, in the dark, holding my hand to yours and telling you that I am here to talk— and knowing you will never take me up on it. Asking you questions because it’s my job, and you say I do it too well, and we both know that that avoids the question in the first place. I will take care of you, asked questions unanswered It is 3 am on a Sunday, and I will take care of you Always.
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Feb 11, 2019
Feb 11, 2019 at 12:00 AM UTC
take care of you
In came I at the end of the storm Soaked through to the skin with icy rain I six or seven weeks old abandoned once again Too young to believe in the spoken eventuality of spring Of which the elders told mystically the unseen shifts would bring Too young to conceptualize the marsh grass dry, the blue skied sun ablaze in the sky Too young to believe in clouds of butterfly Driven forward by the simple wish not to die Came I to the door and mewling stood Until it opened and into gargantuan Heated arms lifted and I folded into them apparently for good Was I wise? When in I came Warmed in those flanneled human arms Dried with a towel from icy rain I lie on floors polished to a shining glow warm, clean and fed I see myself grow Outside the glass the wind howls The trees now iced and bare Would I have lived to test the mythic spring I know not that, know only this one thing That should the time actually come when All outside transforms to warm, scented green It will through 'pain' of clean impenetrable Glass by me, safe, ensconced, separated, Looking out from within - be not ever felt, yet ever seen
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Aug 30, 2014
Aug 30, 2014 at 9:29 PM UTC
In from the rain