Prophet  Ezekiel I finally brought about his company he was the prophet who want to see a sea creature for a long time had been walking back int osee looking sideways at a ******* like me and knowing I noticed that he was not looking back at me because my *** is all eyes on the ocean I just came out of saw it shot down and saw it die in vein I was drownding and had not one person to tell by all mean I was on land as eziakal was in his dream to God Ahh Ezikal was prizedforward what every prophet is a bag of seed an instance when the drop there dream of there furry cat and and have to organize the people to get up off there ***** and plow the land so excited all the people they even invited the people who got exciled for the dream of the sea said it all because how the **** could you explain one group participating in the the bitter riverly as confusion and chaos to get over there because have would eat and half would not because they knew they all knew yes they were in for a time of thinking and who was going to take the first shift they were pros they have done it before the ifrst time they did it thhey all aggreed we will figure it out its alright and at the point they would of starved they didnt hell ya they just knew and everry thing was alright the second time ezijkal came to prophet they split it into a group of 9 for 9 lives and one group stayed and the 8 others left by all mmean we are going to rain on your parade befor they left whoever figured yep went and exsiled them selves and when they got back yep by then they all thoug ht it was an exctatic idea so heavenly rightious till they started discussing it and Victorious said wait hold up you all meant when it rains you will remeber us and come out of hiding and not care if we had died or not die? becazuse I swear I and the rest of these ***** sensed you saing we will ****** you gifted ***** if you dont get up and plow and we all laughed cause it was so funny that you would even say som and on the thing one guy said by all means and was eziakela again he got but ****** excited after he just hookked up that dream of the sea thing again and when he quited down **** no he couldnt it woulnt of mattered if he was at teen challenge at church when one of those mother ******* got down on the floor and prayed to god for and instanence eziakel ya he left outside and laughred so loud for so long the whole hour went by and he just calmed down about 3 minutes probley two before they all came aout and said nothing to him ya bit  in my fable that was the point of ezical to follow in the foot steps of the other prphets even when he ****** everythong up cause he was the only only one left by the time he was done telling them about he sea creature as yep he was not contagiously laughing his *** off but with viwers after an hour ya i can picture everyone fucly in the air with there heads listening and when he stated to talk about the sea thing he looked out in the distance and he swore it was behind him though becuse he had never spoken to an audence before and and ya when you speak to an audence and there terrified and keep wanting to look back at what you fist peered over there heads to see but you did not quite ever peer the same again for yep about an hour yep ezikial kept looking behind him to the point where he made that mother sea thang remebered and said o ya it was when I was standing sidways I always looked to my left but one person in the group yep only the the I d the baby zelda alwasy when standing sidways looked to the right and yep large yep overlooked why did she look to the right because yep the mirrors were to the left and the door that she was smokeing crack behind was to the right the window was always behind her and the pictures were alwasys in front of her before she she went to leave to her MARKIES house she would picture herself there and then pick up the mess of clean clothes yep over and over again and throw them not in but behind the hamper so she could hang them when she got home so she could hit her crack pipe on the florr befor she took off down the stairs to the front door and saw the wood yep I was hitting the crack pipe and not positive so i will dismiss which way my head was swaying when I thought back to just poping anut with my ***** as i turned from the hamper towads **** I finished that hit and would take anothe an 1 more for the mere  realitty that i could not figure for positive sure why i would alwasy come to i had it boxed up back then like you guys and i do now.

Prophet  Ezekiel I finally brought about his company he was the prophet who want to see a sea creature for a long time had been walking back int osee looking sideways at a ******* like me and knowing I noticed that he was not looking back at me because my *** is all eyes on the ocean I just came out of saw it shot down and saw it die in vein I was drownding and had not one person to tell by all mean I was on land as eziakal was in his dream to God Ahh Ezikal was prizedforward what every prophet is a bag of seed an instance when the drop there dream of there furry cat and and have to organize the people to get up off there ***** and plow the land so excited all the people they even invited the people who got exciled for the dream of the sea said it all because how the **** could you explain one group participating in the the bitter riverly as confusion and chaos to get over there because have would eat and half would not because they knew they all knew yes they were in for a time of thinking and who was going to take the first shift they were pros they have done it before the ifrst time they did it thhey all aggreed we will figure it out its alright and at the point they would of starved they didnt hell ya they just knew and everry thing was alright the second time ezijkal came to prophet they split it into a group of 9 for 9 lives and one group stayed and the 8 others left by all mmean we are going to rain on your parade befor they left whoever figured yep went and exsiled them selves and when they got back yep by then they all thoug ht it was an exctatic idea so heavenly rightious till they started discussing it and Victorious said wait hold up you all meant when it rains you will remeber us and come out of hiding and not care if we had died or not die? becazuse I swear I and the rest of these ***** sensed you saing we will ****** you gifted ***** if you dont get up and plow and we all laughed cause it was so funny that you would even say som and on the thing one guy said by all means and was eziakela again he got but ****** excited after he just hookked up that dream of the sea thing again and when he quited down **** no he couldnt it woulnt of mattered if he was at teen challenge at church when one of those mother ******* got down on the floor and prayed to god for and instanence eziakel ya he left outside and laughred so loud for so long the whole hour went by and he just calmed down about 3 minutes probley two before they all came aout and said nothing to him ya bit  in my fable that was the point of ezical to follow in the foot steps of the other prphets even when he ****** everythong up cause he was the only only one left by the time he was done telling them about he sea creature as yep he was not contagiously laughing his *** off but with viwers after an hour ya i can picture everyone fucly in the air with there heads listening and when he stated to talk about the sea thing he looked out in the distance and he swore it was behind him though becuse he had never spoken to an audence before and and ya when you speak to an audence and there terrified and keep wanting to look back at what you fist peered over there heads to see but you did not quite ever peer the same again for yep about an hour yep ezikial kept looking behind him to the point where he made that mother sea thang remebered and said o ya it was when I was standing sidways I always looked to my left but one person in the group yep only the the I d the baby zelda alwasy when standing sidways looked to the right and yep large yep overlooked why did she look to the right because yep the mirrors were to the left and the door that she was smokeing crack behind was to the right the window was always behind her and the pictures were alwasys in front of her before she she went to leave to her MARKIES house she would picture herself there and then pick up the mess of clean clothes yep over and over again and throw them not in but behind the hamper so she could hang them when she got home so she could hit her crack pipe on the florr befor she took off down the stairs to the front door and saw the wood yep I was hitting the crack pipe and not positive so i will dismiss which way my head was swaying when I thought back to just poping anut with my ***** as i turned from the hamper towads **** I finished that hit and would take anothe an 1 more for the mere  realitty that i could not figure for positive sure why i would alwasy come to i had it boxed up back then like you guys and i do now.

Prophet  Ezekiel I finally brought about his company he was the prophet who want to see a sea creature for a long time had been walking back int osee looking sideways at a ******* like me and knowing I noticed that he was not looking back at me because my *** is all eyes on the ocean I just came out of saw it shot down and saw it die in vein I was drownding and had not one person to tell by all mean I was on land as eziakal was in his dream to God Ahh Ezikal was prizedforward what every prophet is a bag of seed an instance when the drop there dream of there furry cat and and have to organize the people to get up off there ***** and plow the land so excited all the people they even invited the people who got exciled for the dream of the sea said it all because how the **** could you explain one group participating in the the bitter riverly as confusion and chaos to get over there because have would eat and half would not because they knew they all knew yes they were in for a time of thinking and who was going to take the first shift they were pros they have done it before the ifrst time they did it thhey all aggreed we will figure it out its alright and at the point they would of starved they didnt hell ya they just knew and everry thing was alright the second time ezijkal came to prophet they split it into a group of 9 for 9 lives and one group stayed and the 8 others left by all mmean we are going to rain on your parade befor they left whoever figured yep went and exsiled them selves and when they got back yep by then they all thoug ht it was an exctatic idea so heavenly rightious till they started discussing it and Victorious said wait hold up you all meant when it rains you will remeber us and come out of hiding and not care if we had died or not die? becazuse I swear I and the rest of these ***** sensed you saing we will ****** you gifted ***** if you dont get up and plow and we all laughed cause it was so funny that you would even say som and on the thing one guy said by all means and was eziakela again he got but ****** excited after he just hookked up that dream of the sea thing again and when he quited down **** no he couldnt it woulnt of mattered if he was at teen challenge at church when one of those mother ******* got down on the floor and prayed to god for and instanence eziakel ya he left outside and laughred so loud for so long the whole hour went by and he just calmed down about 3 minutes probley two before they all came aout and said nothing to him ya bit  in my fable that was the point of ezical to follow in the foot steps of the other prphets even when he ****** everythong up cause he was the only only one left by the time he was done telling them about he sea creature as yep he was not contagiously laughing his *** off but with viwers after an hour ya i can picture everyone fucly in the air with there heads listening and when he stated to talk about the sea thing he looked out in the distance and he swore it was behind him though becuse he had never spoken to an audence before and and ya when you speak to an audence and there terrified and keep wanting to look back at what you fist peered over there heads to see but you did not quite ever peer the same again for yep about an hour yep ezikial kept looking behind him to the point where he made that mother sea thang remebered and said o ya it was when I was standing sidways I always looked to my left but one person in the group yep only the the I d the baby zelda alwasy when standing sidways looked to the right and yep large yep overlooked why did she look to the right because yep the mirrors were to the left and the door that she was smokeing crack behind was to the right the window was always behind her and the pictures were alwasys in front of her before she she went to leave to her MARKIES house she would picture herself there and then pick up the mess of clean clothes yep over and over again and throw them not in but behind the hamper so she could hang them when she got home so she could hit her crack pipe on the florr befor she took off down the stairs to the front door and saw the wood yep I was hitting the crack pipe and not positive so i will dismiss which way my head was swaying when I thought back to just poping anut with my ***** as i turned from the hamper towads **** I finished that hit and would take anothe an 1 more for the mere  realitty that i could not figure for positive sure why i would alwasy come to i had it boxed up back then like you guys and i do now.

Dear 2020,


   I never want to leave my room again. I’ve gotten lazy in a way that is extremely difficult to describe. Taking a shower, eating food, leaving my room, going to school, getting up in the morning, putting on clothes, talking to people, it’s all gotten much harder than it was last week.
   All these ****** meds, all the ****** appointments, and I’m just getting worse. I saw Machaela this weekend. It was great, amazing really, but leaving has made it all bad again.
   I’ve gotten really bad about expressing my feelings. I don’t show them at all sometimes. Sometimes I hold them in until one tiny thing makes them all crash down. But mostly, I just pretend they aren’t there at all.
   Just like how, right now, I quite angry about the fact that I am constantly feeling bad, depressed, down, and don’t get more attention about it from others. People are always doting on people like Elijah, who shows his feelings of depression OBNOXIOUSLY loud and stubbornly, and no one seems to care how I feel, even my Mom because I don’t show my feelings the way normal people do. But, do I do anything the way normal people do? Not anymore. Not anymore.
   I’m so boring. I literally do nothing interesting on my computer anymore. Nothing that could start a conversation. I mean, I start conversations about the things I used to do on my computer, but not the things I do now. I mean, does anyone really want to hear about how I listen to lo-fi hip-hop, write to you, look up reasons not to **** myself, and on very ultra rare occasion- take a typing test or write a chapter in my book?
   I’ve gotten angrier lately. Not in public, of course. Most of my friends can’t even imagine me being angry. Because before now, the only reason I was angry was my Dad. Now, I’m angry about everything. I’m trapped in this world that I hate, everyone is trapped here, and there’s no way to free myself that doesn’t have a chance of hurting one of the few people I care about more than this terrible world already has.
   I hate this world. It lies. It seems beautiful and peaceful and tranquil, but this world is lying to you. It is horrible and I hate it and I want to leave and I don’t even know if I’m even angry but I want to complain because I’m hurting on the inside like that baby bunny who was crushed underneath the barrel by the dogs and died from injuries on the inside of its body. The bunny is me, and no matter how alive we may look, we are dying and we know it and you might as well just look away. Because I didn’t even have the respect for that bunny to watch it die, and no one here is having the respect for me to watch me die. They are all turning, they are all turning their backs on me.
   I actually. I don’t know what I’m yelling about. I told you that I wrote a chapter of my book, but I doubt I will be able to do so again. And ever since I stopped being able to draw I’ve just started hating everything I ever drew or that has any art on it at all. I want all of that stuff to go away, stop reminding me of how I used to have two things I was good at.




At this point I’m honestly hoping you are dead and someone else is reading this. Because no matter how many “why not to **** yourself”s I read, scars I leave, tears I shed, Meals I skip, no matter how many times I try to do what I used to do with ease, It doesnt cease rthe PAIN THAT i FEEL ON THE INSIDE LIKE THE BUNNY AND i’M SCREAMING TO YOU IN CAPS BECAUSE I SCREAM AT MY SELF IN MY MIND AND I WANT TO DIE AND I WANT TO DIE AND I SAY THAT EVERY ******* DAY i SWEAR I DO BUT IT DOESNT HELP I WANT TO DIE EVERRY DAY FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER AND NOTHING HELPS JUST **** ME P[LEASE I DONT CARE IF I HURT THE FEW PEOPLE I HURT YOU won't FIND MY BODY ILL **** MYSELF IN THE PLACE THAT WAS MY HAPPY SPACE WITH HER BEFORE SHE HATED ME AND Befor e my DEPRESSION AND MY ******* ANXIETY AND MY ******* ANOREXIA TOOK OVER AND I CANT ENJOY EVERYTHING YOU won't FIND ME THERE BECAUSE THAT WAS ONE SECRET I KEPT5drsy i,uers7ujojw3lki8wiuirweuijweruhjkrewhureDSFWJKDWQUFEWQOUBWQKBJWQ­BKFWQBUFSCQBEHKWCKUBSEUOQBTGVO3NFDBIG73QUHJDSNLI3BGUJRBHT4ILWFEQK­HDUILREHNFSDKJ