for Tascha

deep in the pond of unhappy, swimming,
drowning the next contemporaneous
depression thought quickly swallowed,
desperation in quick glances everywhere,
dawn is no consolation but just another
daily drawing tighter of twine cutting
disillusionment


dear god, commences every thought,
delayed answers have yet to arrive,
**** the deity's non-responsivness,
dare not say out loud lest,
deserved fates be worse, be realized,
didn't know? how can that be?
disguiser par excellent, I am the original
deceiver

But I never think about

death or dying, for that would be
defeat finale, a statute to, a status of none, a
destiny some wick spark, still insists can be
deferred

differed always,
diffidently, but grasping yet at the
double entendre that is my
dark vision of a future already past

May 2015

There was this girl,
Lonely and afraid.
Terrified of all the things that lie ahead.

Every single time she closes her eyes,
All that she can see are her worst fears and all things demonize.
She is drowning in her sea of fears, losing her breath until it finally disappears.

And when she wakes up, all in fright,
She starts her day with no tears in sight.
She hides her truth behind a smile,
Hides it but just for awhile.
Until she starts drowning again,
Up to the time a new day has began.

And no one knows her pain and suffer,
Because she hides it as a true disguiser.
No one could ever expect, that she is dieing every night she has slept.
She will continue to battle her own death,
Until one day she'll run out of breath.