i found out
another friend is
Sad
with a capital 's', with capital weight
heaviness, of a bomb dropped
into glowing memoriam
sorrys and thanks, in equal measures
the world is
a little off kilter, a little
straighter
now
the sky still disassociates with the earth, in the morning
a membrane of white
stitched by avian sillouettes
awhiles whittling into brittle tones
paneling the arching of our spines
and
the italicized whir points out the
jagged smoothness
of sighs

Whiteness disassociates from science
“We all come from Africa.” Science says to it
“Also you have been having *** and procreating with Africans forever.” Science adds with a stern clear and colorless face
And then Science says, “Im going to stop helping you travel to space. If you don’t listen to me…
You have one week.”

Forgetting you are indigenous is the first mental illness
The process of removing indigenous from oneself is the worst gateway drug
Worse than the liquor needed to obliterate minds into colonialism
Worse than distorting evolution with violence and corruption
worse than enforcing the corruption of whiteness

The echoes from the demons seem to never end.
And from all the existing things I wish you could always be my friend.
The present disassociates, I live in the past and hope in the future, an utopian dream.
The people that surround me swear they never meant to be so mean.
My inside child's demise was so tragic and raw.
All of that changed me into a fragile mind that lives bar through bar.
And as I write this your text lights up my phone screen, if I ever thought that I loved you, now, I'm begging you to just leave.
This family is a cold play, this friends are plastic dolls, my mind code is flawed, my lover never had the *****.
I wander through the hall of this lonely house, wishing I could blood paint the walls, wishing to find a cause.
And if I don't make sense don't you think it's all made up, it's just my non functioning head speaking after too many cups.