On this trail, as the moist grass brushes against my leg,
the way my lungs fill with oxygen, starving for more,
a shimmer of moonlight shines through the roaring clouds,
as almost if I was roaring with them,
from running for what feels like eternity.

Each step I take takes me deeper into the misty forest, hoping to find comfort.
I look into the unarmed and dazzled water droplets,
flairs of daydream and despair.

As I dozed off, remembering how I wanted to be in your arms,
holding me as if they would forever,
whilst, while I was heart robbed,
you were thinking about her.

To do anything for that feeling that felt like I could stop space and time itself from ever moving forward, leaving me in that blissful state of tranquility.
Instead of tranquil, I am on this cold, dark, misty path, trudging on, breaching envy, for she had what I did not
you,
the one that had stripped my grit and grace,
leaving me with a rotting heart, bitter and,
empty inside, consumed by the blood venom
that only you held the antidote for.

When the fog clears and the mist settles,
I will still be plowing on this bending path,
thinking of the pretty lies and distorted promises
that had once made me feel green.

As each spiked vine digs deeper into the flesh of my skin,
wrapping tighter around arms and legs,
beckoning for me to be consumed
by the deep, dark void,

falling, falling, falling,
as each bittersweet moment, I remember the night we met,
when you held me as if you would forever.

As I walk in the thirty degree heat.
Questions that haunt me, begin to repeat.
In the summer air, however, a breeze.
Air flows wistfully, calming me with ease.

Overthinkers can lose their lives in daydream.
Something grabs ahold of mine to save me.
I get the urge to recover self esteem.
My heart, soul and so relationships redeem.

Lord, I lost you and myself soon followed.
I have gone too long, a woman hollowed.
Now the way to you is clear but winding.
Continue to shine your light so blinding.

You are patient Lord, guide each of my feet.
When I step offtrack, help me not repeat.
Focusing on you, all questions answered.
Please take them all, I look not backward.

Awake

For another day
Unless I sleep

Daydream even
Bringing light to my world

For another day

What happens now you aren’t here to tend the tree in your room —
Will your light still germinate, will you lay your seed to bloom?
Am I to become keeper, gardener of your belonging —
To turn your memory into a greenhouse, spilling, overbrimming?
Am I to delude myself into believing, that your leaving was too soon?
Will you come to me at twilight or can you only be seen at noon —
Dappled gently amongst the grove, a frayed bouquet of sunbeam —
Will you ride the tops of our river to the source of my stream?
Am I relegated to meet you — asleep — in daydream —
Or can I spot you on the backs of spoons — at an angle — which you gleam?
Is that shine no longer special, has the metal lost its lustre —
I beg you, tell me — how much more force of will must I muster?
If I close the curtain now, would you call it premature —
Or would you be okay with me just not quite closing the door?

The nursery, a womb
   where fantasy begins

The clay, the permission
  for the sculptor to sin

The keyboard, the staircase
  to a heavenly score

The day, once forsaken
   —its daydream records

(Villanova Pennsylvania: June, 2016)

I admit it
In my daydream
She shows up one night

Unannounced

We speak pure truth.
We remember our youth.
And finally she see's true me.

A powerful wishdream scheme.

But alas! Not likely to be.

i haven't said a word
because took them all

i haven't smiled
because you took my happiness

i used to dream
you'd come back to me

temporary relief

a hello or
acknowledgement would cure me

all i do is sit in silence
all i do is frown

a fixation
i can't satisfy

i wish i could read your mind
look inside
there's no signs of me
no matter how hard i try

i used to daydream
grand gestures and marked meetings

nothing ever happened

it's all in my head
catching all my tears from falling

couldn't go too fast
i didn't even hold on
you slowed down
too late
i was already ahead of myself

what is this called?
heartbreak? how so?
i don't recall giving you anything

you took my smile
and gave me a frown

i couldn't take back my words
didn't you hear me laugh

never made it to spring
didn't see the summer moon
autumn felt like a ghost without you

what's the sacrifice
the price
to be with someone like this

i can't afford it
watched you leave
yet i need to have the last word

hope you smile
if you ever think about it
hope i linger like an ugly stain
you can't wash out

still waiting
counting the days
till you come home

come back to me
once more

you
sleep early

waiting for the morning
to see you leave

can't hear your footsteps
from here

I want to bring you near

waiting for you to notice me
is it your vision
can you not see
well

I guess not everyone knows dark the well

counting the shadows
counting the sounds
picking apart all the ways I can show myself

you're gone
I don't know what time you leave
can I have a head start

can I be your alarm

what if you look back for a minute
see that there's someone close by waiting

I sleep in the day
sleep is not my friend

you know things
I don't speak of

even if it's just for a moment
a piece of your voice
a flash of your face
will help me daydream of you all day

You will die unloved
scrawling lost letters to the world above
in your casket ceiling
because you let us down
a bitter feeling, grieving; healing
breathing, while the noise drowns


You would raise your silver high
clench your teeth, grind goodbye
another beast asleep to the tune of your poisoned lullaby
with fists of gold when you say hi,
all their hearths and kindness shy away like passersby
the rot of lies, the growth of flies


What good will all of it do
look now around you,
what is all of this worth?
A pyramid is astonishing now, true
but it is only another tombstone withering away on the earth


That lump in your throat is the sand of disconnection
discontent and disrespect, disproportion, disillusion
like the hourglass it runs out upside down throughout our lives
were it not for all these things like a rope bridge of nooses, traversing a river of knives
think of how we might think freely, move as individuals, untethered and harmonious
no chosen few, beliefs, politics, tastes, race or class denied, human beings: all of us


Without the need to fulfill another need, to purr like kittens in a lap of luxury
we might govern the world with no debt to these walls and commercial anxiety,
that's why paradise makes people so happy, but it'll always be a daydream to me
to solve this infinite dust puzzle and repair society at the root of humanity
I can be fine with the love of myself and mine, one stone at a time removing my vanity
even if the end of it will never be, it's the pursuit of being and letting be
you will die loved, even if it can't be given, felt or known
if I could become fine, finite dust, one speck for everyone to see
with only the essence on each flake, to show that no one is alone,
I would give myself away with zeal, hope, and love for all of us, each and every.

Colours melt against the dark
A sugar coated daydream that dissolved on your tounge
Quicker than childhood or candyfloss
The playtime you forgot because it rusted
Something so misunderstood you trust it
The memory just a crumb
The dust hoovered up in the second chaos is cataclysmic
In a nest of ribbons I smudge on a smile
It's been a while since we met like this

You may call me foolish
With my Mismatched fashion
A harlequin grin my sultry stains on powdered skin
whimsy limbs limp
Puppetired by passion

Prejudice to this in dark ideas
I become the mascot of your fears
I want to comfort but i make your skin crawl
Hyena laugh till our ears leak milk
And our noses fall off
Too fake and faded lost to years of colours you created
Colours that equate to the dark spark against your defence  
Showing their teeth luminate  
Building shrines that echo our nonsense
Burritoed inside silken sheets
Where giggles flavour each sleep

Don't go so Soon?

We're just testing you
Jesting you
Pulling your leg
Twisting balloons
No doom and gloom
When I'm in my truest form
I'm a different person to who I was before

Born to perform
Fed on charm and charisma
Comic relief,  I sigh to receive and relieve your laughter

So define me remind me
Why I can't always feel this free
Fear me spear me with normality
Try control me conform me
confront my weird and wacky

But

I'm only here to reverse your frown
So please don't be scared of this silly old clown

To think in narrative, is a living fairytale.
Not of those read as a child.
But of extinction and squalor.
The raw ache of a love nearly told.
The wreckage of damaged goods.
Lost minds a casualty of defective desire.
Shredded particles of tenderness withheld.
A gleaming crypt in the sunshine, while life posesses the shadows.
Interminable woe in an aura of bloodshed.
Rare is the "happily every after."
A dismal epilogue the usual reiteration.
Slivers of a daydream shines through the blighted dusk.
But the narrative insists on the fairytale.

As I walk
hands-in-pockets
to the edge of the parking lot
where the asphalt meets the trees
I think of you
my love with the kindest eyes
and how you climbed upon my back
and went with me
down over the hill
among fallen leaves
to that secret place
to trade secret kisses
and sway to the melody
of school bells ringing

And when in my daydream
I hear you say my name again
I realize where I am
and where you are
and wonder if you will again
come to love me
in secret

Innocent school spirit; spirit German acid
left poet google peace queen number whole
rock Kenya hydra-headed police find age-old
image high free animals real son woman
play; play July city golden city life.
Robert's hand's human shadow over history's
language daydream baby space holy wall
called art changes hands art nature friend
nature nature Spain radio game second Jesus
old china chrysanthemum Christ chrysanthemum
Christ chrysanthemum Christ chrysanthemum
Church computer dancers dancers
virtual family friends fun warm heart
holiday ideas Jewish lonely memory.
Mexico science elderly poetry problems
rhythms sleepiness spirit brain brains;
better songs fish land baloo clothing,
hard smoke the natural darkness;
today books in France Oin koku
Seong-end videos San nizu,
California Shir Yunis, her BA does the same job.
AKAI Yornuude A Vulnerable Man,
Chuyt Afurika, Nemutte and Osut Oraria,
were killed by the star of the esu tokast
kakumaku WA. Daniel Amy Amok Armed Wing of Europe,
Keiko San Roman, Economy Romeo,
Andor Momano, Kroo domo,
Sun and Song Seong Seo - Asaa Lu Volkswagen -.
WA SASA Abune Chushi
from the table of the rich Kokkikakin:
the sword, the sword, the sword,
there is nothing next to it
and is next to the double Nagai Carrera,
the sword overturned
with a devil, PA; WA
and the sound is true for science
and the button to complete Genjide Nanny,
because, for example, basketball
and basketball OKO are limited.

Arabic Spirit School Saxophone
******* Father Germanic acid
left the poet Google peace queen
rock thing whole Kenya York
police find image images high
free animals real son woman match
match song July German living.
Robert hand human history shadow
day language space space baby
is dead is Brazil sacred wall
called art art art go right, friend,
Spanish radio second Jesus old china
wind spirit park park spirit open
stone European read happy Italian;
a Saudi Arabian US side hell
football robot robot glass
real mountains write Arab
colors room knowledge.
Christ times Christianity Christianity
Christmas center center Chinese
computer diary know family god
heat heat heaven laughter memory
Mexico old old-fashioned
pain people relief science spoke
street talking tree vitamins word
e Lord sweet snooch brain best songs
fish land baloo clothing hard field
smoke smoke sky natural France,
books in the Arabic today
are in the sea, and the doctrine
of radio and cake, one of the parts
of the earth, this stone being s
The Lord, the way of the fair,
the Juju and the beach of revolution
his cats west walking start
listening parenting leave

Paul's company kiss write hiding ****
**** case case Africa eyes eyes perfect
century that beautiful lights Jewish
plastic point we talk India *******
waves magical Estrella fig read read
safe **** boys motion move slot let
go cut top gay sitting Barbie birth
birth write keep big paradise holy
western socks pregnant pregnant
drinking drink drinking alchemy
smell started trick born ground floor
***** wet ***** sense concept, broken
system smoke country soda back
common burning Marcus planet
present gypsyland marking weapon
equipment's end monster monster
drunk tom color painting standing
cool buried ugly but eventually
places hills get ******* come
coming in the bar to meet the language
hole seeking to look to fill;
Shadows seek to start from the origin
of the home of the kingdom of Medusa.

Let me forget, my dear... Let my little tears fall.
Sun-kissed days, a radiant smile on your lips
Enamored with your beauty, suffocating through intoxicating breaths.
With my hands, hold these secrets tight to your chest
Chasing down old days of glory, alongside you.
My head burns achingly, from yearning alone
All these fits and the darkest of dreams,
The question of its purpose eludes my very judgment.

Oh, how much I loved you so
Melodies echo in my head,
Laying a cacophony of emotions in my throat,
Keeping the bitterness from spilling out
Revealing my true envious nature
Acquiesce this presence, at your heart's behest
Steadily creeping through the grounds
Tangled up in your web of lies
But, like a daydream, you stayed
Similar to the night sky, you never, ever change
In the mirage of symphonies, you loved me.

Sink down under, my sickly companion
The shambles of my mind don't align,
With those unspeakable intentions of mine
Pleading for my attention, your hunger never abates
Queasy from holding your hand, and running through the sunlight,
Always too warm for something, anything else
I've fallen in love with a deadly blossom.
Beg and scream, yet I crave is solace in my misery
Please go away, flee in the night
But when the morning comes around, I find myself waiting for you, once more
Around you, nothing is as it seems.

Fly up high, let's play a game of pretend
Look at the sights that await you
It's not unusually difficult to be alive
Cut off all the strings that hold you back,
Prune out the veins between your skin
Before long, you've surrounded my thoughts
Carry a heavy burden, on your shoulders it starts to live.
I'm dreaming for riches simply beyond a name,
With sickening human eyes full of deceit and lies
Temptation the devil, debauches friendships of innocent souls
Everything you love, in the end, inevitably dies.

Abandon all your innermost thoughts and feelings,
Forget all those things makes you sad
Because in the end, all that you really need
Is a dishonorable friend like me.
Sinking in the rubble, this oblivious nature of yours
A saccharine future awaits your weary soul
You must be happy and move on
Start sailing the merry seas and beyond
In the place of where you once were,
Remember clear blue skies, the crystal waters left in your wake
Don't look back and think of regrets
One will only drown in the thoughts of what could be.

Send me to hell, a sacrificial lamb to slaughter
Agony crept from the corners
Fabricated happiness, an delusion to keep me from being free
Spitting out the aged vitriol in short-lived sentiments  
You and I, we were not destined to be
Promising you would descend down to save me
Do you enjoy sending the guilty to their dreams?

At the young ripe age of twenty-five,
You must move on, my only reason,
Listen to the forgotten memories
Instead of losing into the recesses of life.  
Fix what's broken with false pretenses,
But if you were to depart, nothing can be mended
What's worth thinking and dying for,
Especially in the battle of love and war?
Follow through your promises, even to the end
Chalice of gold, heal all my wounds
End my tragedy, once and for all.

Abandon all your innermost thoughts and feelings,
Forget all those things makes you sad
Because in the end, all that you really need
Is a dishonorable friend like me.
Sinking in the rubble, this oblivious nature of yours
A saccharine future awaits your weary soul
You must be happy and move on
Start sailing the merry seas and beyond
In the place of where you once were,
Remember clear blue skies, the crystal waters left in your wake
Don't look back and think of regrets
One will only drown in the thoughts of what could be.

Send me to hell, a sacrificial lamb to slaughter
Agony crept from the corners
Fabricated happiness, an delusion to keep me from being free
Spitting out the aged vitriol in short-lived sentiments  
You and I, we were not destined to be
Promising you would descend down to save me
Do you enjoy sending the guilty to their dreams?

At the young ripe age of twenty-five,
You must move on, my only reason,
Listen to the forgotten memories
Instead of losing into the recesses of life.  
Fix what's broken with false pretenses,
But if you were to depart, nothing can be mended
What's worth thinking and dying for,
Especially in the battle of love and war?
Follow through your promises, even to the end
Chalice of gold, heal all my wounds
End my tragedy, once and for all.