I finally decided to pick up my pen again
I don’t know where to start or where to begin
So much has happen since the last time I wrote
I manage to hold on, I manage to cope
I began to look around at the situation at hand
Trying to figure it out, trying hard to understand

On one side of me there’s this pain
And the other side bears so much rain
It’s hard to look up when the tears consonantly fall
It’s hard to feel big when you feel so small
The more my pen wrote the way that I feel
It put life into reality and I knew it was real
I couldn't handle the emotional state my pen brought
I couldn't handle the truth that entered my thoughts

So I gave up on writing and threw my pen away
Not knowing that these thoughts
Would come to mind again one day
I find myself setting here holding this pen
Tightly but firmly with all my strength in my hand
While my thoughts run freely like grains of sand
Afraid to write not knowing what will come out
Afraid to believe and afraid to even doubt

I vowed never to use this pen; never not again
It brings out the worse that suddenly has no end
I have to face the facts that no one quite
Understands me the way that my pen does
It shows me love and all the hatred in this world
If I fail to use my pen I will overflow with thoughts
Hidden from the truth and somehow forever lost
When I picked up my pen I realize it doesn't judge
It doesn't feed on hatred and never grant less love

So here I am with my pen working hard again
Putting thoughts on paper that simply has no end
May be my thoughts can help someone else
Maybe I’ll find me deep within myself
I don’t know what all this pen will say
Neither what it will tell me to write down today
I am anxious and my patient is wearing thin
Because I realize that in my hand
Here lies my pen once again.

I have this little crystal ball
I’m afraid to look inside
Afraid to see the future
Afraid of what it hides
I don’t want to see
What tomorrow may bring
It may bring happiness
Heart aches and pain

It just might show me things
I do not want to see
Causing sorrow to over take
A great part of me
What must I do with my
Little crystal ball
Should I look inside and
Answer to its call?

Maybe I will see; where
Time is no more
Or maybe it will be
Better days then before
Part of me wants to know
What tomorrow will bring
It could hold riches, or
Almost any thing

To want to know the future
They tell me it’s a crime
It’s something that bothers
Me; consonantly on my mind
My crystal ball stares at me
While setting on the shelf
I am tempted to look
I just can’t help myself

Trying to see the future
Is like a hard riddle
Keep messing with the present
You get caught up in the middle
I think I’ll throw my crystal ball
Far out in the sea
Cause only God knows my future
And what’s in store for me

Cantering to my prize with no time to devise I cater queerly to confabulate.
Courageous as concerning consonantly discerning the real cognitive carnation contrived by a nation- to cognitive dissociation freedom at the hands of
the behavioral disorder of cans.

All la names bespeaking deity froom
Noah Mo' Room India Arc
of Covenant to crypt tick Blood
(sweat and tears) of
San Gennaro devout wowed,
and/or Turin shroud
consonantly, demonstrably,
desperately, faintly, glumly,
yet plaintively, muttered aloud,
no evading the steadily avowed

atheist approaching COSMO funnel
(dumb mental) stormy dan yell cloud,
cuz far as the eye could see -
at least by this Beatle browed
bipedal hominid (north, south,
east, and west), the conical, demoniacal,
and elliptical endowed
sky high reversed cone, bow wowed
wailing 10,000 maniacs +
same number of banshees

wove weft and white
across wide whirled web
whereat, the black vortex
vacuumed everything insight (chowed
down) with loud violent row
dee earsplitting soundcloud everything
within a vast path got plowed
obliterated, and annihilated proud
lee into bajillion smithereens,
hence mine entire being

held spellbindingly agog
frozen in place ruff lee akin
to well trained dog
without a chance to bark a blog
mired stock still courtesy,
sans extreme fear comp
pounded (maybe attributed
to absolute zero apr) via
quintessential supreme tear
roar immovable paralysis

plus helpless as pollywog
lacking seizure of critical
whatsapp cerebral cog
as if blinded by skewed light  
feeling doped up Asian a mental fog,
cuz nothing withstood
the incalculable suction
emitting barrage of sounds -
hmm...methinks or imagined,
I heard cry of a hog

amidst the pandemonium,
plus uproarious, ominous,
and insidious howl,
though still some
scant miles removed,
the deafening roar
felt like top of my head
blasted unable to jog
free (like a bajillion trained
thundering mashing monsters

at loggerheads) these screaming
quasi nemesis seemingly
horrifically, and directly
into my tender ears
constant subjection analogous
being ****** into a huge blender
to make eggnog
seemingly already felt
fate hermetically sealed,
where state of this Union

soldier reincarnate blocked
by quasi confederate, both of us
being shell shocked
blinded ability for me
to stand or wok
to plot life saving strategy,
meanwhile precious seconds
thinking about dark chalk
oh lot ticked away, and rocked
thee entire firmament punctuated

equilibrium by ram pent up ***
bull leave able decibels,
with Mother Earth locked
in life snd death battle accompanied
by volcanic explosions
humankind feebly mocked
puny battles, how so laugh
able compared and/or
contrasted nitpicking pelting,
and raining terrain akin

to cosmic giant that knocked
Gaia, whereby massive
objects in the mirror are closer
than they appear  
hurled at light speed deeply pocked
whirlwind raked every square inch
(triangulating, circulating),
videre licet topographic terrain)
witnessed me brazenly, frenziedly
and painstakingly crawling

to storm shelter
while simultaneously yanked
contrariwise ad hoc just in the sainted
nick of time, a flock
of seagulls (particularly Jonathan
Livingston swooped, and took me Bach
to the House At Pooh Corner
safely ensconced yay
fo' yew dear reader, cuz -
no mo' poetic schlock!