Is there someone out there that can make the insecure, secure?
The lost become found?
The weak become strong?
The introvert extrovert and all things in-between?
The ugly more beautiful?
The headedness and nightmares become more of a joke?
The sounds in the background become solid and free
Chuck out the garbage
The ties that bind thee
Those that put you in trouble of the deepest kind
The ugliest of mothers hellbent on revenge
Taking out pennies from someone else's den
Is there someone decent and cool
To help get along in the life of a fool?

I am the pest the irregular verb
Adjectives, hyphens the comma's full stop and nerds
All comprehensive found sometimes expensive
So you'll never know what kind of gift wraps inside
Quaky, Jackie, Stumble bunny and fall
Am running amok for the sake of it all

Sinderella what a fella
He went to the garden zoo
Played hokey cokey
Oh what a jokey
He even drank the soup


Happy Halloween you creeps!  


© Bernard M Coldwell all rights reserved

I was never good at doing the hokey cokey
didn't know how to put one foot in
and one foot out and then turn it all around

Ringa a ringa Roses did not charm me much
as well
I was adverse to all these, Athishos we all fall down
they wouldn't even let me fall down on top of Misanne
my cute kindergarten girl-friend

Now the Grand ole Duke of York was something else
Why should I be marching up and down
and then neither up nor down
I told the teacher I wanted to play cowboys and Indians
She said I should get in Line

I rebelled about all these nonsense
No foot in, no falling down, no marching up and down
Let's play Chase and Kiss the Girls, I suggested
The two teachers sent me to go see Mother Superior
in the office

I asked Mother Superior why she was superior
as I'd kissed six girls behind the games room
so I am more superior
She gave me a note to take home to my Mum
Mummy said to stop kissing girls at school or I'll get germs
and die, and I won't go to heaven

I did not stop and kissed a lot of gals and liked it
twenty years down the line and countless girls in my wake
I discovered that adults do the hokey-pokey and a lot
of falling down and going up and down

And then just as I became a certified expert at this
Something happened and I was jolted into the realisation
that there are some bad people
who can mess things up
by
putting their oars in and their oars out
and shaking things all about
and athisho  and you fall down
and then they march you up and march you down
and you are neither up nor down

But like all those years ago, I didn't like to play
So I sat down and watched them play
but there are no girls around to play chase kiss with
Well, I suppose I won't get germs now
and I'd be allowed in heaven...........

We all dance on the end of long strings and pretend
that we're free,
if it's freedom or not we are still tied and we've got
pins in our shoulders,our hands and our knees and we
do as they please.
Knots do not always mean speed,
knots need spots to be
tied onto and we'd better get with the programme
get programmed by the dance man
learn to jiggle and jive and move,stay alive or
fall in a heap on the floor.

We’re having a trial separation. It’s just in its early days.
In fact it’s actually only been a couple of hours…and I’ve been analysing my ways.
I’m still in somewhat of a haze… it’s been a bit of a rush.
And, when I left, she was descaling the toilet bowl using my new toothbrush!

Knowing someone for 50 years… is downright weird… it’s true
like she sits in the bathroom - lid down - plucking her eyebrows on the loo…
"What’s wrong with that? Trunky!… Want a bun?...How ****** dare you?"
Hard to read… Does she, don’t she?…Will she, won’t she? Always the opposite view.

When we were love’s young dream, all those years ago,
we’d start saying the same things at the same time… finishing each other’s sentences… No?
And really there’s not much difference between being totally in love and complete complacency.
Your major arguments might be what to watch and who’s got the controller for the TV!

Recently It’s been surreal. But at the time - comforting - because we always did fit so well.
But you think you read each other’s thoughts - and that creates problems - sometimes it can be hell.
“Fancy some rumpy pumpy - maybe a ****”?
“Absolutely not lover boy! Jog on!”
“In that case do you mind just lying there for a bit whilst I have one?!”

She says our relationship has been weird and only sometimes wonderful.
She says that it’s because it’s me that’s weird and her that’s wonderful.
She might spend her time up the road at the Vietnamese Nail Bar.
Whereas I could sit all day and find genuine pleasure in this fine Real Ale Bar.

These days it’s more profound - the arguments more complex - we’re apt to scream and shout…
But calm down, take a breath, count to 10 - what if  The Hokey Cokey really IS what it’s all about?
And, don’t take life too seriously, is what I’d really like to say… ‘Cos in the end nobody gets out alive anyway.

She’s blowing things out of proportion…I know that.  And I’ve had some time to think.
I’m beginning to lighten up just having had a drink…and really it’s only been just a few hours.
OK, so I’m off …And, at this time of night, do you know where I can buy some flowers?

School's out for the holiday;
no classes and presents - "Hip hooray!"
Before we go our sep'rate ways,
there's jelly, cake and party games...

...and this party's gonna end with a bang!

  We've sang and danced the "Hokey Cokey";
Laughed and played - so okey-dokey.
Pass the parcel - this and more.
We know what we're waiting for.

  Nearly time to pack away;
they've brightened up out happy day.
Not much more to do or say;
only one more game to play.

Runnin', jumpin', sittin'!
Sound in my ears ringin'.
Squeals of fright mixed with delight;
runnin', jumpin', sittin'!

Years go by - less young I get;
no sign of it going yet.
My latex friends cheer up my day -
soft and fragile - here I play.

Sittin' - sweet sittin'!

My girl Friday she no square
She like lotus blossom in her hair
Be-bop records and something new
Sometimes borrowed but she's never blue
Oh no
Not Tokyo Joe

Way past midnight, she not home
She cut the ice down the Danger Zone
Water-tight dresses, she don't care
A trifle risque, a ****, no sir
Oh no
Sounds like Tokyo Joe

Geisha girl show you she adore you
Two oriental eyes implore you
Femme fatale or ingenue?
She very cunning, fiendish clever
Geisha girl suffer many times a fool
Sayonara moon

When all the world's a stage, oh where are you?
Tokyo Rose on the radio
Or Diz and Bird puttin' on the moan
Tappin' out telexes to Tupelo
Dear John, doh ray me fah so?
Let's go
Call for Tokyo Joe

Walkin' tall down the Danger Zone
She hokey-cokey till the cows come home
Big shot, from the hip, neon cool
Say, when you've been around, what's left to do?
Don't know? Ask Tokyo Joe
So inscrutable her reply
"Ask no question and tell me no lie"
GI boys howlin' out for more
VIP'S purrin' "je t'adore"
Ah so, that's Tokyo Joe