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The bass thumps
The crowd jumps
Lights flash
I move with them in perfect sync
Filled with a toxic mix
Liquid courage
Smoke of joy
Pills that numb the mind
Finally i feel happy
I jump and dance into eternity
I dance with her and her
Kiss her
Make out with another
Take a diffrent one  home
But when we're done
And i lay there holding her
All that plays in my mind
Is the memory of holding you
When the music stops
And the high wears off
You creep back into my mind
From the hole i forced your  memory into
Your memory scraping at my mind
Till i loose it
Theres nothing left to do but repeat
Night after night
Girl after girl
Nothing i drown you with
Seems to **** your memory
Written at 4am after getting home from a night of clubing and heavy drinking
Scheherazade Nov 2019
Everyone's getting drunk
I'm getting sick of it
Calling each other
@ so n so
Like they really gettin used to it
I could talk about my heart
But I've already been through all this
Who's really gonna listen to a girl
Who's souls’ been through the worst of ****
& what's worse is, yet
Have I spoken on how bad it's been
Learned to keep my distance, even from my closest kin
Demeanor’s embedded, loyalty nothing like you expected
Raised myself, all alone, I never been big on affection
I’m never comfortable in a room unless I can see all the exits
Grandfather told me young, being misunderstood was a blessing.
If you’re pretty, now you’re dumb, & they don’t even expect it..  
When they start talkin reckless make sure that you’re checkin
Who not sayin much, and who just walked into confession
The realest ones won’t ever speak in new presence
the weakest of minds go the hardest when flexing
When u listen long enough, they repeat the same sentence
No luck with trust, the word alone ****** stress me
If mom came home we called is a blessing
Father was African, that was our only connection
Life was never easy, even with a privileged complexion
We tried to raise eachother but they gave us no direction
Now our mindset stuck on nothing
But money ******* and clubing
And if a sacrifice could save us
Then why did **** get this way since Jesus?
I can't even trust in any preachers
God give me a sign cause I need you

I've been walk towards the light
But it's hard not to trip

— The End —