You will go to sleep early to talk to your pillow.-Isaac Brock
The thoughts in my head were spinning around. It's all in doubt, it's all in doubt. - The Pacific Ocean

"Tell me why the stars are so bright?"
"They are made of gas which is constantly burning and the twinkling light is the result of that."
"You are simple"
"so what, I didn't listen to my teachers very well. you were the one who asked a simple question anyway"
"But was it?"
"I'm pretty sure it was, and how come you don't know?"
"I wanted to hear you tell me. Are you done with your video games now? I want to go outside"
"The game is almost over. Where would you like to go?"
"You always say it's almost over and yet it keeps going on and on. I don't know where to go, we should just go do something outside.
"Like what? I haven't been outside lately and there isn't much to do when you don't have money"
"It's not like we need to pay to go outside. You seem so reluctant to leave the house, who are you again?"
"How come you don't remember? My name is Bashful. What happened to you Jealousy?"
"I'm not entirely sure, something must have hit me on the head. We have to go now Bashful!"
"Why? It's not like there is anything that interesting outside."
"You have to come Bashful or I won't know how to act."
"Remember going outside always ends with disappointment."
"It won't be like that this time Bashful. We will find something fulfilling this time I swear."
"No Jealousy I don't want to go back outside. Id rather stay here in front of my screen."
"You know I'm not surprised much, after that last experience I can tell you don't want to show your face again."
"haha whatever Jealousy, just leave me alone."
"You are going to live with that disappointment forever Bashful if you don't let it go. I'm going to see if Envy wants to go and tell me when you change your mind. ok?"
"Will do."

"Wake, wake up you."
"What, whats happening?"
"Nothing at all you see that's why you gotta get up."
"But jealousy I was just so comfortable laying here, and the dreams were just about to start."
"You need to stop sleeping so much Envy, you will end up holed up in your room like Fear."
"Hmm, whatever you say. So what exactly did you want from me?"
"I wanted to see if you wanted to go outside. So do ya?"
"You don't seem yourself today Jealousy, why exactly do you want to go outside?"
"I feel so restrained in this place, and I'm not sure what there really is to do here anymore."
"You could just relax ya know like Content. He's been sitting there all day reading books and he seems fine."
"Yes he seems fine ,but he rarely even talks anymore. That last incident was just to much for him. Its as if he isn't even present anymore."
"You think too much, but ya Ill go outside with ya it's not like I have anything better to do. Have you asked Bashful?"
"I did but he's still upset about the other."
"I see. He sure is getting sensitive these days."

Jealousy and Envy then leave the house

"This isn't like you Jealousy. You have never been up to leave without Bashful with you. What's up?"
"I'm not sure..."
"Well you should try to sort things out before leaving next time because you don't look well now."
"It's the heat I feel faded and stretched."

The two walk down to the road

"What is there really to do outside these days? All I see is passing cars and others in the distance."
"Umm well I know Stress and Confidence usually go to the nearby station.."
"That's where they work Jealousy don't you remember. You've had to go with them once or twice now."
"Maybe, but the thing is I have no recollection of it."
"Something must of happened to you too during that last time out. You can recall that something occurred, but do you remember what exactly happened?"
"An other created a disturbance... I can sense it in Bashful and the rest of us..."
"Yes that's true but you have no idea of how it happened."
"I don't ya.."
"I guess Ill have to tell ya then, but lets get out of this heat first."

Jealousy and Envy walk over to a grass covered area with trees. Then Envy and Jealousy light up a cigg and resume their conversation.

"The day before, Stress,Bashful, and Coward had just returned from work and they wanted to head into another town to drink with friends. The rest of us agreed and we were able to get a ride. We arrived and thus collided into physical form."

Envy then shares the memory with Jealousy
"Who's ____"
"He's an artist she knows."
"Ohh ya, she told me about him last time I was hanging out with her. They seem to be getting along really well."
"Are you okay there___?"
"Ya I'm fine. I'm in the process of letting go. Are you ready to see if shes there? I want to get drunk."
"Let's go."

"Hey _____"
"How ya doing?"
"Fine. I brought my friend over too. Did you still want to hang out?"
The Memory Dissipates

"So where are you now friend?"
"I'm in a different place than before"
"Where is that? I've never seen you so distant"
"I think it's a place that doesn't truly exist. An imaginary space that confines it's only prisoner, me."
"That place doesn't sound very fun if its just you entrapped. Don't you have any visitors?"
"Once in awhile I let people inside, but then the space becomes distorted and chaotic with constant pressure to release myself"
"So you are the warden too?"
"In a sense I am but in another I'm not fully in control of that place."
"Who is?"
"I'm not entirely sure yet. I see a dark figure trailing me sometimes and I think it's the thing that brought me there. Though when I look back it disappears."
"Don't fade away ok?"
"I'm not gone yet. My mortality always brings me back, but someday I want to stay there."
"Why do you want to leave so badly?"
"I hate being here."

I miss you today...

I miss your infectious belly laughs
and sideways glances.
I miss your short everything:
short hair, stubby fingers,  your fit-under-my-armpit-since-I-was-ten height, your short life...

I miss seeing you shake your head like a dog would shake off water.
And I miss you always sending please-call-me's or you excitedly showing me pictures on your phone.

I miss seeing you sit on the step outside of the laundry room with a mug of coffee and a cigg.
I miss the smell of you, the smell of cigarette smoke and cherry menthol Halls.

I miss your tight hugs and your way of always trying to show me good things in life.
I miss seeing your collections of odd things.

I wish we could have done something, given you a reason not to go.
I realise that I can't change that now, but I can hope that when I see you again you'll have a cup of coffee in your one hand and a cigg in the other.

And that we'll finally be enough for you since we weren't before.

I remember.....
Whilst doing the time I didst in prison;
The strangest little thing
When noone canst buyeth cigarette's none more
Since the state outlawed it in prison's
(Ridiculous) since people wilt still smoke anyways.....
I remembered walking into the caged yard of beast's;
Seeing them phening for that smell and taste of tobacco
As I remember seeing one of mine old friends there
From the intermediate prison before that,
Matt's his name;
Taketh out a little plastic bag of tobacco out of his pocket...
And a white blank piece of paper,
From one of the small Bible's thou canst findeth;
As little Bible's in prison aren't just for God's word
But also they sell for ten bucks a pop.
As he rolled a cigg, so tightly and fused......
As him and all the other's
Went back to the bleachers,
By the prison's football field
Wherein that was the spot,
Everyone hid their smoking
Yet,
The guards didst not careth
They were bringing dope in
Amongst other things!
To calm and ease the brute beast's......
As in that old prison I was in
Thou wouldst want to calmeth thy nerves to
Trust me.... Tis not a place, for the kindest of soul's as me......
As seeing them smoke those bible rolled cig's
Madeth me thinkest at that moment;
They just do this
To feeleth human:
To feeleth alive....
To feeleth free,

Whilst trapped in a cage......
As tis Being animal's in ourn cages;
We were, still free, more than the rest
Of society...


©Brandon nagley
©Lonesome poet's poetry

Alexandra Road is found in the sea-side town of St. Ives, England. Russell Albright was found sitting on a bench on sunny Alexandra Road reading a 'Sunday Express' dated Sunday, 8th, July, 1962. Russell was a well-known Teddy Boy around the town, a cut-above all the others for miles around, always having the tallest creepers, the most flamboyant pompadour and the slickest suit. Role model Russell was epitomized by the young mollycoddle Teddy Boys and Girls and even the one his own age of 18.

Russel Albright sat alone smoking a Marlboro Red while reading about the 1962 French Grand Prix that was held at Rouen-Les-Essarts, but before finishing he was interrupted by the voice of Miles Welch, a boy two and a half years Russell's junior. 'Hey Russ, were you at the record shop lately?' asked Miles in a small, high voice. Miles looked somewhat in awe as Russell slowly lowered the newspaper as if it was a shield. 'Not since Tuesday' Russell replied coolly. 'Oh, well they just got in that new Bobby Vinton record' Miles said quickly, then saw the intensity in Russell's eyes. 'Not that *****, Welch' sighed Russell in near disgust. Miles' eyes opened wide and he stuttered out; 'They also have the new Francoise Hardy record, Russ'. Russell let out a faint glimmer of what could be called a smile. 'That's more like it, Welch, my son' he said, as if to repair the boy's feelings. Then Russell rummaged through his breast pocket and produced a Marlboro packet. 'Wanna a cigg?' he inquired. 'Yeah, sure, thanks Russ' answered a lit up Miles, popping the little white stick between his teeth, and sat down as Russell cupped his match-holding hands to light up the end. In a mushroom-cloud of smoke, Russell stood up, tall and skinny, and cocked his head in the direction of the record down the road, 'Shall we?' he asked Miles, in a false posh manner that made Miles smile. They walked to the shop.

The record shop was owned by Marshall Chapman, and it was always never empty, there was forever a bustle of teenagers in and out, buying the latest things that were in the charts. Marshall was in his mid-forties and somewhat of a gentle giant, he never really got into any rumbles, but this was most likely because of his great stature. He was always happy to see Russell in the shop, not just because kids would see him buying a certain things, and they'd fallow-suit, but the two were good mates. 'Alright, Russy boy? bellowed Marshall, upon seeing Russell enter the shop. 'Just dynamite, Marshall, and a little birdie told me about the new Francoise Hardy that you may have', Russell said Francoise Hardy in a French accent. Marshall put his massive hands into a drawer under the desk and fished out the record for Russell,'Oh, nothing but the finest for you'. Russell looked around the shop and was stunned in the headlights of a women standing at the other end, he tried to keep his legendary cool. 'I am a miracle worker expecting a miracle right now' Russell said to Marshall, looking at the cute blonde girl, and he walked over to her. She was tall, even without the heels. Marshall watched from a distanced as Russell stood over her, whispering sometime in her ear. The two then walked towards Marshall, who handed Russell the key to the backroom.

Made in 97 and has'nt gone to far,
She became my best friend, Odd for a car.
Alway's loved when we went out,
Driving up and down of any rout.
She would be there when I needed to go,
Just stop for gas and go with the flow.
Quicker than other's on any ordinary day,
Just wanted to show me she's here to stay.
Black and beautiful and not to big,
She never complained when I lite up a cigg.
I know she never smoked but she was thirsty a lot,
She would guzzle up all the gas that I bought.
She loved my dog's, took ride's with them too,
Till on her one day my dog Brutus spewed.
Fun and freedom that's all I had,
But then some mean man made me sad.
He hurt my buddy in the worst way,
Left her paralized in the month of may.
This man named Yazbek he denies all,
She was hit by a car and it was your's I saw.
Her face was crushed, she did'nt pull through,
Saying goodby to a special friend I once knew.
She gone forever waiting on that list,
While I am still standing here, very pssd.
A friend she was with a big heart,
I'm not so dear, I sold her body part's.
I'll find a new friend, I'm sure we will have fun,
It will never be the same as that one.
You were my first, I'll never forget,
Took you home right after we met.
Everyone liked you especially me,
I got you going with the turn of a key.
You would light up inside and on the road you would glide.
You did your job that's all I know,
Wish you did'nt have to take that tow.
Later day's my black friend,
Damage to your front we could'nt mend.

picked a plum     whistling        hound

barking profound

kissed a cigg

juggling     a foamy tea kup

wating
for the handyman

leaky pipe    and a French fry.

sincere artist
-   faithful autist     -  mislabeled  ,
and misunderstood.


pride unkown  --  message unclear  -- -      teeth too chattery

batman flattery

**** in the jug     with charcoal  paints   and a toothbrush  to clean up