Everyone looks at me and they judge me but I don't blame them they won't understand.
I was innocent girl believed in christmas father believed in fairies belived in love and trusted everyone .
But someone took it all away and it was too soon for me.
It was a night as any other night I looked out my window so the stars and smiled.
Switched the light of hugged my teddy bear and closed my eyes.
As I was about to come to the middle of my sleep.
The door opened I was scared thought it was a monster...
Yes it was a monster but it was a human being acting like a monster his hand on my little lips . His whole body between my tiny hips he thought they were big enough for him to fit.
Worst pain I have ever felt and the more he seemed to pump it got worse .
Tears on my face throat burning I couldn't breath.
As the "monster" walked out of the room everytime .
He would leave me broken than I was before.
From that day the world seemed different not save .
Cause oneday the monster 's mask fell out and I realised that this was not a real monster it was a man that was supposed to love me and take care of me.
But he thought wreking me everyday was right.
And guess what the woman that carried me for nine months knew about this but she turned the other cheeck.
So tell me how can I stop being so paranoid when the world just showed me how people can decieve you people you love.
The man that was supposed to take my mom as his didn't feel she was enough so he destroyed a innocent soul.
And my mom couldn't imagine herself squeezing the pilllow so she pretended not to see it.
Know you know the story
Behind my bitternes
Behind my anger
Behind my sadness
Behind  my paranoia
When that man broke me he took my innocence .

just like femine to menstral chains
deep lovers dont get used to heart break pains
tear filled eyes
hear tear with forever lies
you didnt stay a day more
with no second thought you gave me a blow
dislocated jaws
beds turned to snow

stupid i feel remembering yesterday
with the promises that now stay at bay
you forgot im too made of clay
and i can get washed away

the day you left was also the day i died
the bitternes drained me to dry
to stop tears; that i try
bt its obvious i will never fly

so this is an open letter to you my darling
i miss those warm nights and pillow fightings
im still gathering my words to start writting
the problem is that i blab and write nothing

They'll come only to my tomb
Only in the time of needs,
They only know my existence
Only when they feel so empty.

They'll just visit my grave
Only when they are lonely,
They only know my worth
Only when the world turns them in.

They will become my ally
Only when they can rely on me,
They will leave immediately
Only when sweets melts in bitternes.

You saw the darkness coming
Though it had never found a home in you
The sweetness of his words
Did nothing to mask the bitternes of his heart
And a touch that was as unexpected as it was unwelcome

A little part of my heart is broken for you
Things things I have heard
Things I have seen
And those I have felt, for myself and for those I hold dear
Told with a courage that should not of had to be mustered
You are so brave
And my spirit goes out to you
That you would find comfort
Even as your will, that has  been acted upon by another
That has no right
No say
In the beauty of your spirit
Or the making of your mind