When the world is in trouble and theres nowhere left to turn.
Well your **** outta luck till then theres the Gonzo report.

Live from hidden location in a Florida basment broadcasting
now it's time for the Gonzo report.
With your team of in depth and seldom sane news team.

Your anchor man Gonzo   co Anchor that Batsheba
weather chick Neva finally gotta mention Flores.
Sports with your favorite ****** Richard Shepard.

And then theres Paula Swanson  who's sitting on my other side
I dont really know why  but eveyone likes Paula so who gives a *****.
Who wants a sandwhich im just saying.
And are field reporters Jeremy Wyatt,Chris Smith,And Mr E,

This just in.
A old man lost control of his car running over 17 people
and seriously ******* off one dwarf.
And if your keeping track at home kids it's old farts 20 crazy texting while driving teen *****   15.

Theres big trouble in Cairo kiddies  with more  no the situation
are own version  of snooky Bathsheba   take it away.
the camera zooms into  the   queen of Hello.
I swear to God Gonzo if  dont back the **** up i will knife you
you crazy *******  and put some ****** pants on you ******.

Yes Bathsheba ******* the outside  and  kinda ****** all around as well
but enough with the foreplay children.
Oh look Paula made cookies!
Baths began here report on troubles that had befallen this country
And as i mixed a drink it made me wonder.
Were the **** is Eygpt.

Opps looks like i dropped my cookie.
Like a mighty ninja with a hot flash I was met with a searing
pain to my nose.
In the name of Cindy Crawford what was that for?

Thats for even thinking bout going under that table.
But .
No Baths replyed  then hit me again.
The pain the agony my modeling carear.

Now with coverage from the World Series  heres Richard Shepard
Richard Can you here us.
The cam camera  cut  to a shot of a monkey masterbaiting in the Bronx zoo.

Yes the production team of Goldie and Joel M Frye
when not watching hot oil dwarf  varsity wrestling death match
there top notch.

Richard  dear lord man were on air it's no time for that now.
This isnt Chris's  bachelor party.
That isnt Richard you ****** Baths  spoke in that charming yet
Voice that told me if i didnt stop I might get a free *** change
voice of her's.

And it's not the world Series you half wit it's the Superbowl.
No  wonder  there was no mention of the stanley cup.
Baths what do you not know.
So after i mixed another wild turkey and put a mirror under
Paula's nose to make sure she was still breathing.
I told her  the roofies really help with the nerves.

Finally The artist formely known as Jack Horner   was live on the screen  from some cult meeeting it appeared.
*** they've captured Fergie.
Richard take it away.

Well these ***** keeping fighting over this ball.    
Runnin back  and ****** forth its driving me ****** bonkers.
Oh yeah amigo I these knickers ya asked for.
Richard held a pair of black *******  to the camera yeah
smell of  no talent  and overproduced songs.
dam you slash.

Back in the studio.
Ummm haha well i didnt ask him to steal anyones *******.
Paula broke the awkward silence i dont wanna go to school.
Paula you alright?
***** you John Travolta.

Ok well also at the world series of poker Jeremy Wyatt and he's got a special guest Taylor Swift.
Great god of the traveling  flying squirrell monkeys pants.
anything but her.

Screaming like a naughty little school girl with a  bad texting  habit
on a unlimted plan i dove underneath the news desk for it's better
die at the heels of Baths and a tap dancing kinda drugged Paula than   face a evil more sinister than Drew Dillegence or Ghandi  combined.

Jeremy was in the danger zone note even knowing it for beneath that
yummy little body layed the soul of satan  himself.

It was Nashvile  a few whiskey laced years ago  I was a drummer
for local sessions  she was 16 I.
well I wasnt.
you mix in some drugs s0me cars crashes knocking over a liquor store or two.  
That little hell cat had a thirst for danger  and some  lets just say
weird habbits   okay it was more like a curse.

Strange things happend to here past lovers.
John Mayer,  The gay cowboy from Broke Back Mountain  you know
that movie about the sinking ship, and that lesbian  from the Jonas Brothers.

Yes just as soon as she wrote a song you were good as dead.
You'd vanish to here secret torture chamber were her music played
non stop   and your blood was drained slowley so she could feed
her own talent or lack there of.

Jermy puzzled  hey Gonz you there Baths umm Paula ?
Underneath the saftey of are second hand news desk hey look gum.
huddled togather like three okay one drunk monkey and a passed out frat sister and a very ******* Baths please dont stab me im
fragile   like a aged bottle of good whiskey im just saying.

We gotta make a brake for it look Baths  you distract her im blowing this joint  like a long winded madman  on a five day binge
let loose on old country buffet.

Baths   spoke   in a  language  that was always a challenge  for me
called sanity.
Gonz if you dont let me out from under this desk.
Im going to rip your heart out and feed it to the  homless dwarfs.
And heres a napkin Paula's drooling on you.

I have a heart?

After a brief break.
And another check to make sure Paula was still breathing we
returned.
Dear lord where's Jeremy!

Screams could be herd Jesus Richard   it's no time for killing hookers
But 10 dollar beers  are a real kick in the ***.
Oh well Wyatts  gone he'll be missed.
this just in Taylor Swift to release her new single Why  Not  Jeremy!

Dear lord sweet sallys *** it was code she had taken him hostage
in the love of all things lady gaga  someone had to save my amigo.
except me  cause that ***** was crazy  and she's got a hell of a bite
im just saying  stay  strong   Jeremy  and think happy thought's

I could feel the ****** clamps and smell the burning flesh
from the car battery as we speak but enough  bout me and skeeters
personal life.

now its time for the weather with finally she's gotta mention Neva voice like a angel  Flores.
thanks Gonz that southern bombshell replyed okay in the south.

Alright Neva that was great  like i need to hear the weather.
I havent been outside in  seven years.

This just in Mr E  has been taken hostage in Cairo.
Well kids all i can say is as much as this hurts
we dont deal with terrorist  like we could raise a hundred bucks.

The bulletin came across the wire Raitch with a look of dont **** with me   Gonzo  although Pepples  thinks your okay in a ***** kinda pervert way.

All hells breaking loose  a all girls school for hot super models    
in trainng.
Baths  in shock and mock concern replyed oh dear lord.
I dont who has chops to cover such a story in short notice.
Raitch  Oh Baths I dont know either   ive herd  there ripping  each others clothes off   hair pulling its worse than a prison riot with
hot half naked strippers.

Baths kept speaking but in the name of chain gang women
i was lost deep in thought over ******* and world events
while downloading  pictures of Fergie eating a banana
what im a health nut okay.

Yeah I dont know who should go cover such a story right now hint.
Gonzo Baths and Ratich spoke like a tag team of terror hint!
Hey I should go shouldnt  I  ?

Yeah Gonz  ya think ?

With some ***** looks from the people who much like my family
wish id forget there names.
So they wouldnt have to join the witnness relocation program
i love it when they play hard to get.

Finally i was off the trusty Gonzo Report news van  waitting for me a bottle of wild turkey and some fine reading materials by that thinkers mag hustler waitting in the back.

There my amigos stood standing togather waving goodbye.
crying tears of joy hey is that a keg?
Chris on the turntables im beginnning to think it was a party.

But if Chris  was there just who was driving the Gonzo van!

The little dwarf laughed in glee as we flew threw town
like Charlie Sheen on a coke binge.
I was tossed around  like a beach ball at greatful dead concert
as finally   over the cliff the van flew.

There was a explosion that could be herd for at least a half a mile
course that was drowned out by the party.

The party was in full swing  finally Paula awoke.
Hey what the  hell happend and why is Trimman
******* my leg?

                                  
                                  Is Gonzo really Dead?  
    
    Will Jeremy Wyatt ever escape the *** dungeon of Taylor Swift.
                    
                        Will Richard Shepard ever put out a book
                        how kick lots of **** yet win the hearts of millions
                        and do a co write with lady GaGa and Mel Gibson?


                    Will Neva Flores  get ****** over her five second
                     mention hunt me down  and torture me for hours
                     im just saying  a girls got needs.


                    Will Paula Swanson  kick Trimman like a field goal
                                                    or just pass back out?

               Find out in the next action packed trillogy  called
                                          The Death Of Gonzo  

                       Untill  Next Time Stay Crazy Kids

First page is but the flesh for my thought.
In verse of the forbidden .
Creeps from the depths the nightmare not real so the lamb is taught.

Hello welcome to the tour agony is my name and I'll be your guide.
Certanly you may beg.
She screams but hope is a distant dream so in this void may you confide.

Lets take it to the point were pain is truth  and logic has no chance.
Flesh from bone strip the nerve apon severed legs the
twisted thoughts dance.

**** for fun .
Take time in your craft.
Now your lifeless lips embrace mine may I ask was it good for
you ***?

Reaper of the weak.
Basment  collection  cherish the nightmare and destroy the meak.
I need no introduction for im one of many.
Hail the killing floor.
Burn it down if one is left thats one to many.

The ankle bracelet isnt as sweet as your new toe tag.
Love the scent as wind does give a  hint of decay.
Tricks desserve treats lets see what I have in the bag.


I preffer black in white to the glossy production.
I linger in chaos a nightmare from which none may awake.
A monster truely needs no introduction.

I sit there in my basment
And i wonder what i thought
How could i not know?
How could i not see it?
I stare at his picture
I look into his eyes
He was so good at lying
It was always kept from me
My mother didnt tell me
The terrible things he did
He told me "Your my favorite"
And i believed him
He was my daddy
My daddy didnt lie

I walk upstairs
And i curl up in the corner
I lay my bible in from of me
And I begin to read
I read and i cry
Because now i am not blind
I see through his lies
I hear my mother speak
About the things that he did
I know it is truth
I know of his abuse

I climb up to the second floor
Im holding my baby girl
I see my husband in front of me
Kissing my 5 yr old daughter goodnight
I smile at him and he smiles back
I lay my baby in her crib
She is finally asleep
I take my husband's hand
And we watch our daughters sleep

The eroded frames of this abandoned home, speak of a time that was once better

The pain in its voice, is sorrowfully apparent, the pain it feels creaks among the window panes

I asked why it seemed to feel this way, it spoke to me and said it was alone in its ways

The trees had begun to strangle their roots among its edges, the wildflowers set their camps on its staircases

The finches set their nests on its faded yellow window stills, the fox making a den from the basment

I sat with the rain pouring down, under the porch roof did I listen to its somber tales

In its decay I saw a dark beauty, a damaged purity that was tranquil in the erosion

"Don't you get tired of it all?" she said,
As we passed the bottle around again.

The same old faces in the same old basment not doing anything.

We all get high just to pass the time,
telling stories of when we were young.

And with each past shared we lose a bit of ourselves.
We sit there collecting dusts like books on a shelf.

And we laugh about how we'll never change and how we won't turn out like our parents.

The night time comes stirring up our spirits.
And with each passing moment we wonder if not now then when?

We used to call each other friends,
now we're miles apart and barley keep in touch.

It takes so much to bring it up in a sentence,
now we interact with post cards dated for a special occasion.

Like ghost inside our former selves,
Envious of who we used to be.
We sit alone and contemplate when we decided,
If not now then when?

forbidden rituals comended sitch of stix
im the britches you place upon
so call your ***** inside the basment ****
take along a hit you snake a song
hate the wrong right flippin tight
hit the mic with a statement strong

convince no other like the fitz
fritz fizzy lickin nips
seconds latent intwixed thats
furry flip burried bitz pix hurry
quick youve made them silent kits

scitz inside the ritz ive eatin too many
all these souls convoyantries
im boyant in the poetry i clip
no butter cup could kick
lick the mother dusk of nix
yall never heard those names

im the sane inside your dame scit
wont claim another aimed in
ill own every tame dinner
like a kitten quickly drips
theirs a moment full of bliss where
no one understands the hungered man

lightning in the thunder can
blunderbus ive underland
wonder what the summer has
another laps im tousk
musk elighhn mine sight
wolf amongs the sheep of fifths

never was it ray who hadent his
i see the shades of gray into fray
this the day admists those munchkins
double dutchin hush hundred
fourth ladder that i summon this
is nothin like a buimpin biztks

dunce i loved the days
other plays hey talk of tay
you get them ditches diggin
quick i know the cards behold
the hardest roll to play im
goin motions slowin till i play
alpha told me stay at bay
i come from places youd have missed

Tick tock,
Is all the man heard.
Ticking sound from the clock,
The clock the size of a boy,
It was sitting in the corner like an unused kids toy,
Day after day tick and tock,
Until one day the man had enough,
He took it downstairs and he got out a lock,
The yelled out loud "You want make any more of my time slightly more rough",

Day to night and back again,
Until the man got a letter from the woman who runs ukraine,
It said you have until wednesday 3 o'clock next week,
He sat in chair and let squeek,
As he waited a few day for the movers to come by,
But he woke up one morning to a loud crash.
And just before it happend he whisppred good bye,
When he realized the time it was like a slash,
Right across his chest,
Because that day he died to those pest,
Turned out to be 3 o'clock,
On wednesday,

He fell through a hole in his bashed up house,
It fell right to his basment which was the last place he was,
On that day at 3 o'clock,
The last sound he heard was...

Tick tock.

The end