"barrera" poems
A ludicrous
man who
box and
angle with
whim wholly
heat dangle
his bantam
let towel
round his
ear with
such rumor
proclaim his
crown and
still fight
his trilogy
with Mexico
La Bourrera
Dec 4, 2017
Dec 4, 2017 at 6:04 AM UTC
my purpose of those yearly vigils
was primarily
as an effort for Colton
to hear
through the grapevine
in one form
or another
that he was
not only
not forgotten
but that he was
extremely
well loved
and sincerely missed
and to show Colton
that whether his leaving was unintentional
as in
afraid to come home for missing curfew
and 1 day turned into 2,3,4
and by that time he may have felt
that he had painted himself
into a corner
and I wanted him to
not feel embarrassed
or humiliated
that this had gone on
as far as it had
because, hell, the whole world that knew him
or at least his family
and friends
were willing to have a party
and he was the guest of honor!!!!
No, it's not like
I ever had that fantasy
that in the middle of pizza
the first year
or grilled burgers
that last year
that he would come walking up
and join us
although it was a comforting story
we all let run through out minds
at least once
or twice
as we planned these events
ea September
although
my once upon a time story
usually had Colton
walking in the back door
as i'm doing dishes
(see, it really is a fairy tale)
and in typical Colton fashion
he tries to play it off
tries to play me
with a "Hi, Mom"
and act like nothing had happened
and I am torn between hugging him
and grounding him
But actually
I know I would have done
what I always did
to all of my children
whenever they came back from camp
or being with the other parent
or whenever
I had gone away
from them
for any length of time
was sniff their head
and get that scent of them
just like when they were babies
although teenage head is not the same smell
especially if they haven't washed their hair
it's a mom thang
(Did you kids know this
or was I slick when I did this)
Or had Colton purposely planned
his get away
in an effort to start a new identity
knowing in hindsight
just how horribly stressed he had been
with events occurring to him
at such a young age of 17
and it was bittersweet
to hear the new Shinedown tune
playing at that time
Second Chance
where the singer tells his parents
goodbye
and I wanted him to find out
that the Colton Ross Barrera
that he had tried
to leave behind
was still very much needed to come home
And at one time
it used to scare me
that my son ran away
because he hated me
now i am sad
that my son
hadn't
ran away
and now I know
he didn't leave
and that his life
was
taken
from him
and yearly candle light vigils
(I didn't even know for sure how to pronounce that word until 5 yrs ago)
are not going to bring him back
Dec 23, 2013
Dec 23, 2013 at 8:34 AM UTC
Tengo el tiempo de barrera entre despertar y mirar las estrellas y que la casualidad no me ponga unas nubes, personas plagadas de nuevas maneras.
Todos guardan un cuento que se actúa de forma diferente en cada situación, de igual forma tenemos esencia y algunos tenemos conciencia que puede ser borrada por bombas de hielo o soles de amor.
La velocidad de la luz hace difícil esperar, calculo que hay dos horas que solo pasan a la velocidad del sonido y las paso dormido porque sueño despierto.
Llego al atardecer entre siluetas del pasado, las fotos del verano y tu terraza sobresalen en mi escritorio, más no empiezo el cuento del adiós porque parto cada noche a buscar esa estrella que miramos los dos.
Sep 6, 2015
Sep 6, 2015 at 1:59 PM UTC
I was thinking of a poem
About a girl I saw
With a starved face
Eyes bulging
Teeth protruding
A screaming skeleton of despair
I saw her and thought
I could love you...
But that was interrupted
By a poem about a new fondness
For sleeping pills
Numbness
I once tried to cry at night
But couldn't
And I felt like a real
******* for even trying...
I walked into the bathroom
And threw a few jabs
And right hooks
Into the mirror
I thought
I'm 5'7
145 lbs
Just like Barrera, Morales, Chavez
All the great Mexican fighters
I walked out and thought of quotes
By Fante, Sartre, something Hemingway said
I looked at all the people around me
And thought
They couldn't quote anybody
Jesus Christ!
What the hell do THEY think about?
It must be terrifying!
They don't read
They don't scream
They don't fight
They don't go on drinking binges
Where's the scars?
Where's the passion?
Where's the life?
But then I noticed
They were all smiling
Talking
Laughing
Walking
Together
I suddenly felt a massive
Heaviness
Upon me
I noticed it had been there
All along
Maybe
I've been doing it all wrong
Nov 30, 2015
Nov 30, 2015 at 10:32 PM UTC
Señor Rasch Isla, vuestro verbo es
en este duelo lírico y sutil,
un puñal florentino y señoril
para el bajo garrote montañés.
¿A qué abajar el estro, si los tres
contendores son gente del redil,
y a vuestra Musa ni con otros mil
de la su laya lléganle a los pies?
A la verdad señor que hacéis muy mal.
Se os puede perdonar en el ojal
el uso rastacuero del clavel;
mas dejar el Olimpo sin razón,
por zurrar tres poetas del montón,
¡es algo imperdonable, don Miguel!
831
de colgar una llamada con quien dice amarme,
a quien igualmente le produzco tedio si rompo en llanto.
Siempre he pensado mi vida sola, me he visto a mi misma a futuro alcoholizada, irreconocible por los años y los vicios. Sin nadie que congele mi sombra.
me duele su indiferencia, que no le importe que ocurre con la relacion
si falta algo por hacer, algo por decrir
no es algo que se acuerde en discusiones o en la mas elevada de las promesas de amor tras una buena follada, el amor es algo que se cola que se expresa no importa el medio o, la barrera.
lo nuestro ha pasado. lo que me duele son mis costados, la confianza, el tiempo, las ideas nunca consumadas.
el que yo no te importe, cuando sigues en mi.
las palabras falsas, las personas de mas, tu pasado, el mio casi escaso.
Sep 28, 2017
Sep 28, 2017 at 10:52 PM UTC