If he could find a dealer
To sell him the love
He needs to fill the void he tries
To avoid with drugs

He wouldn't be seen as an addict
Feelin axiety panic and rage
But the type of free spirits he loves
He knows, can't be his in a cage

Cuz a cage can't hold those free as a bird
Or the same attraction he finds
Is tainted, so he's faced with knowing
"She can never be mine"

Pained by the absence, their
Presence brings, when felt; is love
So like most, he's left with its ghost
Hoping to silence the pain with drugs

Leaving unfulfilled emptiness subdued
From a temporary substitute
But the dependancies supremacy
Blinds any chance for solving the root

Problem so like many lost
From the cost of being high as youths
Become the old and bitter as they wither,
never to reconsider the truth

Which is letting go and moving on
Sometimes means leaving haunted
Ghosts of those lost behind, but first
Letting go must be wanted

But sometimes embracing the pain
Of what's gone, will always remain
When the love held for it is too great
To recognize the power of a gain

That may come if only he could run
From the memories they hold
That are valued higher than what could be,
refusing to trade it for gold

Within the next treasure he is told
Maybe worth Just as much
But when he tries he can't deny
What's too real for him to touch

And almost feels, that moving on
Will only disrespect the way
He felt, as if yearning was the pay
Owed from the love that became

So when the misery is his company
And those around him judge
He doesn't bother explain,this pains kept,
to remind him he was loved

And that is more than any happiness can Bring,
knowing love can't stay
Not the type held by a free spirit who
Isn't the same if it's put in a cage.

.................
So when the misery is his company
And those around him judge
He doesn't bother explain,this pains kept,
to remind him he was loved.....



"God loved the birds
and invented trees.
Man loved the birds
and invented cages."

---  Jacques Deval

No news from you
and I am lost
In axiety
But don't know what to do,

No news from you
Breath getting short
Can't stop thinking about you
But don't know what to do,

No news from you
I think I'm dying
No news from you,

No news from you.

Dust particles danced in the gold crusted sunlight
Sleepy somber southern draws painted the air
Like bare footprints on wooden porches embraced by firefly lit twilgiht skys and warmed by summer time
Childhood sweet tea and the bitter taste of jack stained oil painted lips which froze and scorned my own
Under a sea of feather filled warm comforters, silky and snug spider webs
Cigarette smoke designed lines mid air, disinergrating, drifting like dreams
Around hands, rivers of axiety ridden blood, water, and glitter rush beneth snowy skin
Chemicals react blooming flowers all around me

It's been two years now and
This is our third Valentine's day
But I still find it difficult to say
How you've impacted my life from the moment our journey began

I've always struggled to face myself
My shortcomings were haunting
Ghosts of past failures, stunning
I was ready to let the liquor take my dreams and bottle them on the shelf

Then a whim, a ray of hope
We met in such a rare circumstance
I knew I was given one more chance
To be with you I could, and I would, change...you were my antidote

You are the cure to my depression
In moments of weakness and axiety
In moments of fear and agony
To be with you I could, and I would, face my demons and leash them.

You have brought out the best of me
And on this Valentine's day
I just wanted to say
That I hope you spend the next fifty Valentine's days with me.

My mind is made from frames, and one of them is your eyes.
The word is made with meaning that you gave it
You don't need to be present to feel that gaze of beautiful eyes.

Jewels that armies may go to war, the sky might fall, the dark be light thats the gaze of those beautiful eyes. Out of balance the want to live, a bigger stride, a higher jump, a stronger bite... thats the gaze of those beautiful eyes.

Like a thread weeved back through life twisting, turning, taking everywhich way... eventually that gaze laid upon me, the gaze of your beautiful eyes.

Deep beneath the surface my darkness slowly creeps to see the light, sealed behind walls locked away for as sure protection, fear, doubt, and my cloud of axiety. The bright blue rays cut across my horizon of life, as they focus in on me, how could it be? Beautiful eyes...

Beautiful eyes,
Beautiful eyes... beautiful eyes.