an old car with rusty brakes,
models, the Eiffel Tower, a zeppelin
combs, a toothbrush, muddy sandals,
posters of sunsets and other better worlds,
a souvenir mug from Venice, an unmade bed,
handwritten notes, letters unanswered,
a ghost that wamnders through my veins

and the present of your life

Before you date me

You need to understand that I'm damaged. I get triggered easily. I have struggled with things. There are nights when I'm curled up on a ball on the floor and I won't talk to anyone. I'll shut you out. I'm not going to be able to trust you for a while because everyone has always left, cheated, or chosen someone else. I need reassurance. I will need you. I will need you to keep choosing me, I'll need you to care when I text you saying I'm getting bad again. I;m a lot, I know this.

So before you think I'm always happy, that I'll always be positive, that I'll always be smiling - know the reality before you get involved. Don't enter my life if you can't handle it. Lastly, don't you dare touch my heart if you aren't ready for that.

The first time
you said you loved
me, it was as if
I had been pulled aboard
a life raft after being
lost at sea. But
I see now that this
raft is littered with
holes and
we are sinking, but
you are convinced
that your love is a
teacup to scoop out
the water pooling around
my ankles and you will save
us, but the teacup has a crack
down one side and
do you see where I
am going with this?
A tablespoon of water
will never put out
a forest fire; I am burning
through acres.