I want to feel your soft skin on my fingertips
As you hold me close at night
Hear soft snores from the moniter
Of our baby sleeping tight
I'll still lie awake at 2 am
But tears will not fall this time
Because I won't feel a need to cry anymore
With a warm body by my side
And I'll smile at 2 in the morning this time
Because I'll know this to be true
That I'll have finally beat my demons
And the hard times will finally be through

I've always wanted to be an artist.
To have my words go with the desirable flow of the readers interpretable mindset and for them to say, "wow this girl is so mesmerizing."
But how can I do that with thick colossal storm clouds raging in my mind striking lightning on any rational sanity I might have left.

I wanted to be an artist.
To have the beauty from my eyes spill on to the blank canvas like the over flow of a dam carving water through the valleys to make its own distinguishable beauty. For people to see it and just feel the damaged perfection that had been sculpted into my impeccable masterpiece.

But how can I be an artist
When the only words people can read are the defeated thoughts my mind passed through.

When the only things spilling on a canvas is my tears and they evaporate unlike the strong mold of the gulf.

When the only damaged perfection is maintained in a porcelain complexion.

I wanted to be an artist.
But how can I.

An angel of darkness wrapped in regression,
He calls upon me with raspy digression.

"I have come here for you to ensue,
All that I have to offer for you"

His eyes flickered the fears unsustained,
And body was wrapped in black tendrils of pain.

Though he did not flinch, nor feel this burn.
For he projected this plague to give me a turn.

Lungs on fire, heart ablaze,
My insides are melting black from pain.

His demeanor is scorched beyond recognition,
"This is now you," smiles Depression

It's back. The thick black tendrils have woven their way through fresh mutilated skin. They've gripped bone and rooted themselves into a skeletal disaster. A permanent venoumas suit imbedded beneath the surface.

Scream in the air to not cry.
Stomach twists like tangled vines.
Tears rise but refuse fall.
Violent sobs shake my all.

Legs give out after a while.
Back slides against cold tile.
Of course I'm okay.
Can't you see?

I'm just okay.
And this isn't killing me.

"We are the Galaxy looking at ourselves,"
At least that's what I've been told.
Stars as bright as the sun, now rest in our very souls.

But whenever I say things things, she doesn't seem to believe me
She's lost on her own fixation, dead set on what is reality.

She will never understand how the sun is in her eyes,
Or how she can draw people in, like the moon controlling the tides.
A true star in its purest form, growing every day,
But she says she wants to leave this earth, that no one cares of her stay.

But I asked if she knew what happens when a star disappears,
And it never really does, it's light remains for years.
But it's leave is not beautiful, it's not peaceful at all,
It actually creates a supermassive black hole.
It's dark, and dim, and just a sad little place.
It creates such sadness, even the surrounding stars light deplate.

I said, "that would be us if you left our life,
Your apart of our galaxy, aligning the planets just right."

For all the time I've know you
You've worn a mask upon your face
It appeared beautiful, perfect, and friendly
But now I realize that wasn't the case

For hiding underneath that mask
Was a soldier bent on destruction
Posing as a comrade fighting for good
But following the other side's instruction

You wormed your way into our ranks
And we accepted you as one of our own
But all of us were unaware
Your true intentions had not yet been shown

When an opportunity presented itself
You struck without any hesitation
Our troops started dropping left and right
Without any sign of infiltration

You knew you only had so long though
Before your actions got you caught
So you moved to abolish your final target
A tougher task than you had thought

That night, when you attacked me
You allowed your mask to fall
And as you fled, I caught a glance
Of the real person beneath it all

Well, "What doesn't **** you makes you stronger"
And you make me tougher every day
Which is why no matter what you do
I refuse to let you stand in my way

I learned some valuable lessons
About how you fight this war
And now those same old boring tactics
Won't work here any more

So thank you for the knife
That you embedded in my back
For you just gave me the tool I need
To defend against any future attack.